What do you do after 11yrs?

A - posted on 12/07/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I'm goin thru a tuff time now the man I loved for 11 yrs just ended it with me. He was my 1st love an what makes it even harder is we have an amazing 3yr together the only thing that's been keeping me goin is her but at the same it's very hard to look at her because that's his little twin I'm trin to figure out how to move on but I don't know how to I'm still very much in love with him. It feels like its not going to get any easier. We have. House that we now have to put on the market and he's talking about moving far away. He's already put in applications. I'm trying to keep myself busy and not think about what's going on but it's hard. I'm just lost and don't know what to do I still love him so much and I guess I'm just hopeful that it'll work at

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Ladii - posted on 12/07/2012

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i know exactly what you are going through! when there is a child involved it makes it all the more harder. when my childs father and i broke up i went into a severe depression and had to have counseling and was admitted into the hospital...twice! dont let that be you! sure you have to greive its a major loss..its like a death..but whatever you do, do not beg him back do not let him see you emotionally break down be strong for your daughter focus on her and not on what you are going through now. you will go through the motions and grieve for however long it may take you but trust me whether he comes back or not there will come a day where these feelings you have now will diminish and disappear. after three yrs of separation with my childs father just this week i came upon that moment. when you realize that all your heartache and suffering and sadness and negative vibes are coming from someone who doesnt care enough to not let you have to go through those horrible feelings and you see that person for who they really are only in that moment can you really get past all these feelings you have now. i know its new and raw but use all ur might to not focus on this hard time because if you ever want to get him back if there is any chance of that you actually have to get over him. if you appear clingy and desperate and needy you will become unattractive and unwanted even more! you have to take this time out for you and ur daughter better yourself strengthen yourself make yourself happy!! you dont need anyone to do that for you. when i was where u are now all these things that people would tell me wouldnt help and i put myself through the ringer weeping and obsessing over my ex. that doesnt help or fix anything it will only reassure them that if they ever need you for anything they know where to go but it will not win them back. please trust that this too shall pass no matter how long it takes but you will and can get though this!

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