what do you do with a 14 year old with a baby t

Candace - posted on 06/26/2009 ( 38 moms have responded )

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my daughter was 12 when we found out that she was 6 months pregnant.now she is 14 and thinks the world owes her something?her mouth wont quit and with child abuse laws around what am i suposed to do .it isnt like the old days when you could jack a kid the hell up now you have to pussyfoot around to find out what the problem is.i think we should go to the prople that made the dam laws up and give them all the bad ass kids and see if they dont beat them!!!

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Breonna - posted on 07/02/2009

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No beating her will probably bring on more issues. I had my first son @ 17 years old, and I'm sure most of you have. Your daughter is just acting out. She probably is starting to really realize she will never lead a normal "teenage" life. I had my moments where I would just act out b/c I wanted to go to a party and my mom wouldn't babysit. My mom didn't deal with any of my shit..and that was the best thing she did. B/c I had to grow up..and I had to do it fast. I graduated highschool on time and I now am graduating with my bachelors. Take it one day at a time. I drove my mother insane, and I had two younger sisters she had to look after. I really gave her a run for her money but we're closer then we ever have been. Just be there for her and try your hardest to understand..but don't give into her shit & let her know she doesn't run the show. She may have a baby but she still thinks like 15yr old.

Kate CP - posted on 06/26/2009

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Quoting Heather:

She had a baby...she's legally emancipated. Slap that girl in that face and tell her to have some respect!


Uhh, that would be assault.

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Mandy - posted on 09/27/2012

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Then go to court, record the 14 year old's behavior, show it to a mediator and visit a family court commissioner and see about removing the child from the child's custody. Quit arguing and the let the law decide if she is fit or not. I don't think most fourteen year olds can manage themselves let alone a baby, but if she is still going through normal teen angst perhaps motherhood should be postponed until she is done growing up.

Mel - posted on 07/04/2009

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Quoting Vicki:



Quoting candace:

what do you do with a 14 year old with a baby t

my daughter was 12 when we found out that she was 6 months pregnant.now she is 14 and thinks the world owes her something?her mouth wont quit and with child abuse laws around what am i suposed to do .it isnt like the old days when you could jack a kid the hell up now you have to pussyfoot around to find out what the problem is.i think we should go to the prople that made the dam laws up and give them all the bad ass kids and see if they dont beat them!!!






Hey, if you are a young mom (20-30) yourself, that means you had her about the same age, right?






good point. but to the OP - um i realise alot of girls these days are having sex around 11-13 now but they usually lead by example and they way they act is usually a result of how they were brought up however not in all cases. i didnt have sex til i was 16 i wasnt ready but many do i know. first dw about the laws. you need to bring this brat of yours into line i dont give a shit if shes a mum she is not responsible. be tough. ground her. if she uses language or is rude to you smack her in the face. trust me my cousin has 6 kids and raised many foster kids this way and they all love her to bits her first born is 19 now almost 20 didnt have sex til she was 17, and now owns a house and car with her partner. in the old days this was a normal form of punishment and it is because its so called abuse now that kids turn out the way they do. tough love makes kids turns into great loving caring  better teenagers, who mature more quickly and learn the right values of how to be there for others in times of need. i am proof of that and so are many people i know. good luck. if you think shes so immature report her and take custody of her child if you have to. maybe it will make her wake up to herself. you cant be a mum and act like a spoiled brat it doesnt work that way

Lorraine - posted on 07/02/2009

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Quoting Dana:



Quoting Amanda :




Quoting Dana:





Quoting Amanda :






Quoting Dana:

Okay, about the actual post. Nope, beating isn't the answer. Like someone else said, I would make her take responsiblility for her child. That means, no going out AT ALL. Put bars on the windows. Make her get a job. I know she's only 14, but you can sign for her to work a couple of hours a day at mcdonalds. She can't drive yet, so that should make it easier to keep up with her. No going out with friends. If she has a tv and stereo, take it away. She's not acting like an adult, she is acting like a child. Tell her that. When she acts like an adult you won't treat her like a child.
About the ones who think she's an irresponsible mom for letting her 12 year old get pregnant? OMG. She can't watch her every second of every day. How do you know it didn't happen behind the bleachers at school? Are you going to go to school with your 12 year old and sit through all their classes with them? No. I had a friend whom her daughter would let guys into her window while my friend was sound asleep in her own bedroom. You can't prevent it unless you know you need to. She'd wait til like 3am and let the guy in and then go. My friend never suspected a thing until her daughter got pregnant.
I'm putting bars on the windows NOW. LOL. I'm not taking a chance. But what I'm saying is, there is plenty of opportunity for a teen to get pregnant that has nothing to do with parents leaving them in the situation to do so. I don't think she left them alone in the house on purpose or anything like that. What kind of parent would?
Man there are alot of teen pregnancy threads up here... :( It's really sad what the world has become. I'm not old fashioned, but I did wait until I was in love (for real...not puppy love) and I waited until it was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.











YOU damn well can keep track of a 12 year old child, remember 12 is not even a teen it is a little kid, A pre teen if thats  how you want to look at it. kids that skronk people at age 12 have issues and if she were diligent in keeping up with her child she would see the signs of a problem and take action. if that means removing her from public school and home teaching her than so be it. if it means putting motion sensors throuought the house and bars on the windows than so be it. I would rather confine my wild child than have her get knocked up at 12. a child who gets pregnant is the fault of a parent who did not take an active role in their life















I'm sorry, but that's ignorant. IF YOU SEE SIGNS, yes you can do something about it. But what if you don't? I agree...if you see something, do something. But what if your kid never has shown any signs? It is your fault? No. I'd love to see how a kid turns out that has been locked up with the key thrown away. The FIRST chance they get, they are going to go buck wild.












the term ignorant means you are unknowledgable on a certian topic. this term does not apply in this situation. I think it is ignorant to turn a blind eye to a problem. An involved parent knows and there are ALWAYS signs. I am raising a teen and I know  how it works. she is not my daughter and she was wild as hell when she came to us and guess what she didnt get to go out and she had intense reasponsibilities and was involved in competitive sport 6 days a week 4 hours a night. she was expected to have 85% or higher in all subjects no exceptions. over time as she came to be trusted she was allowed out but with privileges come reasponsibility and if you cant be reasponsible you cant have fun. when she did go out I knew exactally where she was 100% of the time. I am known to check up, to drop in and to snoop if I suspect anything. yep I am a cruel bitch and guess what, my teen is 2 months from being a legal adult, has graduated with honors, chem free and is a virgin. coincedence? I think not.








keep track of your children and you wont have this disgusting problem.









Congratulations. Sounds like your step daughter turned out wonderfully. I'm glad it worked for you, I just dont' think it works for everyone. I have seen it. I have seen parents just like you that was strict and would not let them out of their sight for one minute and they still manage to screw up. All I'm saying is that you do ALL you can do as a parent, but ultimately the kids go out on their own eventually. Is she going to college somewhere close to home so she can stay with you? If not, are you going to drive to her college constantly to make sure she's not doing anything you wouldn't approve of?





she is going to university in our city, she will live with us and once she is an adult which will be august 9th than I dont care what she does. my goal was to get her through highschool chem free and without becoming another stat that has a baby. my work is done. she is reasponsible most of the time. actually this last week we have been having problems and I nipped it in the butt as soon as it started. she decided to get mouthy and back talk and act like an ungreatful little cow so I told her where the door was. I refuse to support laziness in my home. she left has been gone a week and decided that university was not for her but she wanted to come home. I sent her an email telling her there was no way in hell she would be back here unless she stuck with university. after a short whineing crying spell and having been "on her own" for a week she has changed her tone (and she was not on the street, I knew full well where she was the entire time) I have told her she is not welcome back until I see changes in her life. she will damn well learn to apriciate what we have done for her or she can hit the road. see most parents would just let their kid walk all over them and thats when problems happen.



In traditional asain cultures the parents are very very strict but are loveing. this is how our house is and it has been shown that children raised in strict homes with love and communication turn out better than thoes raised in athoatrian, athoratative and permisive homes.

Dana - posted on 07/02/2009

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Quoting Amanda :



Quoting Dana:




Quoting Amanda :





Quoting Dana:

Okay, about the actual post. Nope, beating isn't the answer. Like someone else said, I would make her take responsiblility for her child. That means, no going out AT ALL. Put bars on the windows. Make her get a job. I know she's only 14, but you can sign for her to work a couple of hours a day at mcdonalds. She can't drive yet, so that should make it easier to keep up with her. No going out with friends. If she has a tv and stereo, take it away. She's not acting like an adult, she is acting like a child. Tell her that. When she acts like an adult you won't treat her like a child.
About the ones who think she's an irresponsible mom for letting her 12 year old get pregnant? OMG. She can't watch her every second of every day. How do you know it didn't happen behind the bleachers at school? Are you going to go to school with your 12 year old and sit through all their classes with them? No. I had a friend whom her daughter would let guys into her window while my friend was sound asleep in her own bedroom. You can't prevent it unless you know you need to. She'd wait til like 3am and let the guy in and then go. My friend never suspected a thing until her daughter got pregnant.
I'm putting bars on the windows NOW. LOL. I'm not taking a chance. But what I'm saying is, there is plenty of opportunity for a teen to get pregnant that has nothing to do with parents leaving them in the situation to do so. I don't think she left them alone in the house on purpose or anything like that. What kind of parent would?
Man there are alot of teen pregnancy threads up here... :( It's really sad what the world has become. I'm not old fashioned, but I did wait until I was in love (for real...not puppy love) and I waited until it was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.









YOU damn well can keep track of a 12 year old child, remember 12 is not even a teen it is a little kid, A pre teen if thats  how you want to look at it. kids that skronk people at age 12 have issues and if she were diligent in keeping up with her child she would see the signs of a problem and take action. if that means removing her from public school and home teaching her than so be it. if it means putting motion sensors throuought the house and bars on the windows than so be it. I would rather confine my wild child than have her get knocked up at 12. a child who gets pregnant is the fault of a parent who did not take an active role in their life












I'm sorry, but that's ignorant. IF YOU SEE SIGNS, yes you can do something about it. But what if you don't? I agree...if you see something, do something. But what if your kid never has shown any signs? It is your fault? No. I'd love to see how a kid turns out that has been locked up with the key thrown away. The FIRST chance they get, they are going to go buck wild.









the term ignorant means you are unknowledgable on a certian topic. this term does not apply in this situation. I think it is ignorant to turn a blind eye to a problem. An involved parent knows and there are ALWAYS signs. I am raising a teen and I know  how it works. she is not my daughter and she was wild as hell when she came to us and guess what she didnt get to go out and she had intense reasponsibilities and was involved in competitive sport 6 days a week 4 hours a night. she was expected to have 85% or higher in all subjects no exceptions. over time as she came to be trusted she was allowed out but with privileges come reasponsibility and if you cant be reasponsible you cant have fun. when she did go out I knew exactally where she was 100% of the time. I am known to check up, to drop in and to snoop if I suspect anything. yep I am a cruel bitch and guess what, my teen is 2 months from being a legal adult, has graduated with honors, chem free and is a virgin. coincedence? I think not.






keep track of your children and you wont have this disgusting problem.





Congratulations. Sounds like your step daughter turned out wonderfully. I'm glad it worked for you, I just dont' think it works for everyone. I have seen it. I have seen parents just like you that was strict and would not let them out of their sight for one minute and they still manage to screw up. All I'm saying is that you do ALL you can do as a parent, but ultimately the kids go out on their own eventually. Is she going to college somewhere close to home so she can stay with you? If not, are you going to drive to her college constantly to make sure she's not doing anything you wouldn't approve of?

Lorraine - posted on 07/02/2009

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Quoting Dana:



Quoting Amanda :




Quoting Dana:

Okay, about the actual post. Nope, beating isn't the answer. Like someone else said, I would make her take responsiblility for her child. That means, no going out AT ALL. Put bars on the windows. Make her get a job. I know she's only 14, but you can sign for her to work a couple of hours a day at mcdonalds. She can't drive yet, so that should make it easier to keep up with her. No going out with friends. If she has a tv and stereo, take it away. She's not acting like an adult, she is acting like a child. Tell her that. When she acts like an adult you won't treat her like a child.
About the ones who think she's an irresponsible mom for letting her 12 year old get pregnant? OMG. She can't watch her every second of every day. How do you know it didn't happen behind the bleachers at school? Are you going to go to school with your 12 year old and sit through all their classes with them? No. I had a friend whom her daughter would let guys into her window while my friend was sound asleep in her own bedroom. You can't prevent it unless you know you need to. She'd wait til like 3am and let the guy in and then go. My friend never suspected a thing until her daughter got pregnant.
I'm putting bars on the windows NOW. LOL. I'm not taking a chance. But what I'm saying is, there is plenty of opportunity for a teen to get pregnant that has nothing to do with parents leaving them in the situation to do so. I don't think she left them alone in the house on purpose or anything like that. What kind of parent would?
Man there are alot of teen pregnancy threads up here... :( It's really sad what the world has become. I'm not old fashioned, but I did wait until I was in love (for real...not puppy love) and I waited until it was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.







YOU damn well can keep track of a 12 year old child, remember 12 is not even a teen it is a little kid, A pre teen if thats  how you want to look at it. kids that skronk people at age 12 have issues and if she were diligent in keeping up with her child she would see the signs of a problem and take action. if that means removing her from public school and home teaching her than so be it. if it means putting motion sensors throuought the house and bars on the windows than so be it. I would rather confine my wild child than have her get knocked up at 12. a child who gets pregnant is the fault of a parent who did not take an active role in their life









I'm sorry, but that's ignorant. IF YOU SEE SIGNS, yes you can do something about it. But what if you don't? I agree...if you see something, do something. But what if your kid never has shown any signs? It is your fault? No. I'd love to see how a kid turns out that has been locked up with the key thrown away. The FIRST chance they get, they are going to go buck wild.





the term ignorant means you are unknowledgable on a certian topic. this term does not apply in this situation. I think it is ignorant to turn a blind eye to a problem. An involved parent knows and there are ALWAYS signs. I am raising a teen and I know  how it works. she is not my daughter and she was wild as hell when she came to us and guess what she didnt get to go out and she had intense reasponsibilities and was involved in competitive sport 6 days a week 4 hours a night. she was expected to have 85% or higher in all subjects no exceptions. over time as she came to be trusted she was allowed out but with privileges come reasponsibility and if you cant be reasponsible you cant have fun. when she did go out I knew exactally where she was 100% of the time. I am known to check up, to drop in and to snoop if I suspect anything. yep I am a cruel bitch and guess what, my teen is 2 months from being a legal adult, has graduated with honors, chem free and is a virgin. coincedence? I think not.



keep track of your children and you wont have this disgusting problem.

Dana - posted on 07/02/2009

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Quoting Amanda :



Quoting Dana:

Okay, about the actual post. Nope, beating isn't the answer. Like someone else said, I would make her take responsiblility for her child. That means, no going out AT ALL. Put bars on the windows. Make her get a job. I know she's only 14, but you can sign for her to work a couple of hours a day at mcdonalds. She can't drive yet, so that should make it easier to keep up with her. No going out with friends. If she has a tv and stereo, take it away. She's not acting like an adult, she is acting like a child. Tell her that. When she acts like an adult you won't treat her like a child.
About the ones who think she's an irresponsible mom for letting her 12 year old get pregnant? OMG. She can't watch her every second of every day. How do you know it didn't happen behind the bleachers at school? Are you going to go to school with your 12 year old and sit through all their classes with them? No. I had a friend whom her daughter would let guys into her window while my friend was sound asleep in her own bedroom. You can't prevent it unless you know you need to. She'd wait til like 3am and let the guy in and then go. My friend never suspected a thing until her daughter got pregnant.
I'm putting bars on the windows NOW. LOL. I'm not taking a chance. But what I'm saying is, there is plenty of opportunity for a teen to get pregnant that has nothing to do with parents leaving them in the situation to do so. I don't think she left them alone in the house on purpose or anything like that. What kind of parent would?
Man there are alot of teen pregnancy threads up here... :( It's really sad what the world has become. I'm not old fashioned, but I did wait until I was in love (for real...not puppy love) and I waited until it was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.





YOU damn well can keep track of a 12 year old child, remember 12 is not even a teen it is a little kid, A pre teen if thats  how you want to look at it. kids that skronk people at age 12 have issues and if she were diligent in keeping up with her child she would see the signs of a problem and take action. if that means removing her from public school and home teaching her than so be it. if it means putting motion sensors throuought the house and bars on the windows than so be it. I would rather confine my wild child than have her get knocked up at 12. a child who gets pregnant is the fault of a parent who did not take an active role in their life





I'm sorry, but that's ignorant. IF YOU SEE SIGNS, yes you can do something about it. But what if you don't? I agree...if you see something, do something. But what if your kid never has shown any signs? It is your fault? No. I'd love to see how a kid turns out that has been locked up with the key thrown away. The FIRST chance they get, they are going to go buck wild.

Lorraine - posted on 07/01/2009

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Quoting Vicki:

Oh, I had a thought! This sounds like prime Jerry Springer material, doesn't it?


yeah either jerry springer or steve wilkos

Lorraine - posted on 07/01/2009

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Quoting Dana:

Okay, about the actual post. Nope, beating isn't the answer. Like someone else said, I would make her take responsiblility for her child. That means, no going out AT ALL. Put bars on the windows. Make her get a job. I know she's only 14, but you can sign for her to work a couple of hours a day at mcdonalds. She can't drive yet, so that should make it easier to keep up with her. No going out with friends. If she has a tv and stereo, take it away. She's not acting like an adult, she is acting like a child. Tell her that. When she acts like an adult you won't treat her like a child.
About the ones who think she's an irresponsible mom for letting her 12 year old get pregnant? OMG. She can't watch her every second of every day. How do you know it didn't happen behind the bleachers at school? Are you going to go to school with your 12 year old and sit through all their classes with them? No. I had a friend whom her daughter would let guys into her window while my friend was sound asleep in her own bedroom. You can't prevent it unless you know you need to. She'd wait til like 3am and let the guy in and then go. My friend never suspected a thing until her daughter got pregnant.
I'm putting bars on the windows NOW. LOL. I'm not taking a chance. But what I'm saying is, there is plenty of opportunity for a teen to get pregnant that has nothing to do with parents leaving them in the situation to do so. I don't think she left them alone in the house on purpose or anything like that. What kind of parent would?
Man there are alot of teen pregnancy threads up here... :( It's really sad what the world has become. I'm not old fashioned, but I did wait until I was in love (for real...not puppy love) and I waited until it was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.


YOU damn well can keep track of a 12 year old child, remember 12 is not even a teen it is a little kid, A pre teen if thats  how you want to look at it. kids that skronk people at age 12 have issues and if she were diligent in keeping up with her child she would see the signs of a problem and take action. if that means removing her from public school and home teaching her than so be it. if it means putting motion sensors throuought the house and bars on the windows than so be it. I would rather confine my wild child than have her get knocked up at 12. a child who gets pregnant is the fault of a parent who did not take an active role in their life

Kate CP - posted on 07/01/2009

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Quoting Crystal:

Send her to boarding school.


HAHAHAHAHA! Yes! Best advice so far! I love it! :D



 

Dana - posted on 07/01/2009

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Okay, about the actual post. Nope, beating isn't the answer. Like someone else said, I would make her take responsiblility for her child. That means, no going out AT ALL. Put bars on the windows. Make her get a job. I know she's only 14, but you can sign for her to work a couple of hours a day at mcdonalds. She can't drive yet, so that should make it easier to keep up with her. No going out with friends. If she has a tv and stereo, take it away. She's not acting like an adult, she is acting like a child. Tell her that. When she acts like an adult you won't treat her like a child.

About the ones who think she's an irresponsible mom for letting her 12 year old get pregnant? OMG. She can't watch her every second of every day. How do you know it didn't happen behind the bleachers at school? Are you going to go to school with your 12 year old and sit through all their classes with them? No. I had a friend whom her daughter would let guys into her window while my friend was sound asleep in her own bedroom. You can't prevent it unless you know you need to. She'd wait til like 3am and let the guy in and then go. My friend never suspected a thing until her daughter got pregnant.

I'm putting bars on the windows NOW. LOL. I'm not taking a chance. But what I'm saying is, there is plenty of opportunity for a teen to get pregnant that has nothing to do with parents leaving them in the situation to do so. I don't think she left them alone in the house on purpose or anything like that. What kind of parent would?

Man there are alot of teen pregnancy threads up here... :( It's really sad what the world has become. I'm not old fashioned, but I did wait until I was in love (for real...not puppy love) and I waited until it was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

Krystalpearl - posted on 07/01/2009

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wow shes lucky your stil lthere! many moms wouldnt deal with that shit. remember her shes a mother not a child . child abuse lawss vary state to state. its not good to get mixed up in that shit. im a young mom not that young but ive learned life changes wen you become a mom......

Lorraine - posted on 07/01/2009

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WOW why the hell did you let her have a baby at 12. OMG, so worng on so many levels.

thats disgusting. how could you raise her to think it is ok to have sex at 11 or 12. you should talk her into giving that child in an adoption. this is just sick and wrong

she is obviously not ready to be a mother if she is snotty to you.

Lorraine - posted on 07/01/2009

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Quoting Heather:

I'll never forget the day when I was 13 and told my mom to "Get the EFF out of my face" She slapped me right then and there...you better believe I never talked to my mom like that again!



I once called my mom a bitch at 15 and that was the last time I did that. I got it across the bare ass with a wire coat hanger. how embaressing that was

Jen - posted on 07/01/2009

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WOW! Beat? Punishment maybe but BEAT? Maybe that is why your child got pregnant at 12! Geez lady! you have some serious anger issues.

Ashley - posted on 06/29/2009

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Why do I have the feeling that you wrote this post right after a fight with her? First and foremost, you absolutely cannot take anything she says against you personally. I was the stereotypical horrible teenager, and I've said things to my parents that would make the devil himself squirm. As a teen, I was in complete turmoil inside, and I didn't even have a baby to deal with, so I'm sure your daughter is just feeling horrible inside. I'll admit it never worked for me, but I'm still gonna say that she needs to see a counselor/therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist. She's fourteen, this is what fourteen yr olds do, and yes, you will have to pussyfoot around because although her mouthing off would probably stop if you smacked her for it, she'll just do something else because she is having emotional issues, that's why she is lashing out and you can't cure her emotional/psychological issues with a beating. Several moms on here would rather fight and be right then give good advice, ignore it. I'm been in her shoes, and she needs help, if you don't help her, who will?

Natasha - posted on 06/29/2009

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I'm so confused about what exactly this post is about.
All 14 year old girls think the world owe them something, baby or no baby.
If she didn't have a baby, what would you do? just do that?

By the way, random comments about child abuse laws, they are there for a reason. You daughter is not a bad ass she is just 14..

Michelle - posted on 06/29/2009

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Quoting Alicia:

She still lives with you does she not? I don't have children that old yet, but what did you used to do when they did not listen? I take things away and the things you know really matter. Ground her. Take her privaledges away. How does she support her baby? Do you guys pay for everything? What about babysitting when she wants to go out? I wouldn't give her any money. Make sure the baby has diapers and what not of course, but i would give her no money to spend in fun. I woulnd't babysit so she could go out. She was the one who chose to have sex, why should you be the one to take up all the responsibility. Don't take her lip. Although i know how it is to be mad and want to freak i wouldn't hit her, but you know more than anyone what would hurt her the most when not getting it anymore. You have to let her know that as long as she has no respect she's not getting scrap from you and she's on her own!


i think the parents are just as much to blame for her getting pregnant... short of rape why was a 12 year old in a postion to be able to get pregnant in the first place... lack of supervision

Michelle - posted on 06/29/2009

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ermmm too late now u maybe should have taught her to keep her legs closed... what 12 year old should be left in a situation where they even have the chance of doing something that will get them pregnant...

Vicki - posted on 06/28/2009

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Oh, I had a thought! This sounds like prime Jerry Springer material, doesn't it?

Charlie - posted on 06/28/2009

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people who have to use violence to solve problems are seriously uneducated , and damn lazy parents its a quick fix solution for those who cant be bothered being a real mother / human being , i am horrified at the amount of people who condone the use of child abuse , i am a teacher and have had to deal with these so called " bad ass kids "
and often these children are crying out for someone to set them some boundries and show them some guidence through life and most of all to be done in a loving way , i am able to do that in school hours for these children and they respect me for it and their parents wonder why they cant get them to sit quietly and read a book , i doubt those " damn " people who made laws against child abuse would so easily give up and start " beating " a child as you so eloquently put it , because they are educated people who know how communicate , it might take longer than a " beating " but is an effective method one that dosent use violence , shame , fear , and emotional distress why any one would do that to a child is beyond me and is quite frankly sick ! a person is a product of the enviroment they are raised in , its a little wonder your child is pregnant at 12 with an attitude .

Karrie - posted on 06/28/2009

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umm... theres a fine line between dicipline and abuse and iis up to u to decide whether or not to cross that line.

Vicki - posted on 06/28/2009

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Quoting candace:

what do you do with a 14 year old with a baby t

my daughter was 12 when we found out that she was 6 months pregnant.now she is 14 and thinks the world owes her something?her mouth wont quit and with child abuse laws around what am i suposed to do .it isnt like the old days when you could jack a kid the hell up now you have to pussyfoot around to find out what the problem is.i think we should go to the prople that made the dam laws up and give them all the bad ass kids and see if they dont beat them!!!



Hey, if you are a young mom (20-30) yourself, that means you had her about the same age, right?

Charlie - posted on 06/28/2009

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Wow i have nothing nice to say to that . thats disgusting on so many levels.

Kimi - posted on 06/27/2009

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Just because she has a baby dosn't mean you should expect her to skip the bratty teen years. At least she has to deal with terrible twos in the process. Looks like karma's keeping up to her and she needs her mom's support.

Dawn - posted on 06/27/2009

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i agree with the mom's that say to make her grow up!! she is still a child, but if she wants to be "grown up" and have a baby then she needs to act like an adult. and that includes earning her keep and earning the stuff that you buy for HER baby!! baby sitting is a good job, or a paper route or at 14 she's old enough to work on a farm. if there aren't any jobs out there that she can do then make her work for you. don't let her go out without the baby unless it's school or work, i don't get fun time anymore!! she's no exception, that's what happens when you have a baby...ME time goes bye bye!!! if the baby wakes up at night make her get up with her...stop doing stuff for her. eventually she will get it.

and i agree with the mom that said not to take the baby away from her. as long as she isn't neglectful or abusive then don't do that to her. it could lead to her making the same mistake again. i saw first hand with a few friends of mine in high school. their mother's took the baby and then they ran out and got pregnent again and the same thing happened, the mother's took that one too!!

and lastly def go seek some mother-daughter counceling!!! it's only going to get worse!!

you and your daughter and grandbaby are in my prayers:) good luck!!

Andrea - posted on 06/27/2009

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1st you are a good grandma to help raise your grandbaby 2nd you are you daughters MOM... at 14 she is still a child regardless if she had a child of her own. You could start doing stuff like: If you think your an adult make dinner, clean the house, do the dishes. If she get allowences take them away and tell her to get a job ( i know it is hard to get a job at that age but she can babysit for her stuff). Then after you start to do that tell her that if you want something you have to earn it. I know this is a little diffrent but when my brother was in high school he wanted the nice clothes (like $100 pair of pants) my mom said you get what i will buy or you get nothing! He had to get a job for those $100 pair of pants! Grand her if you want, take away the TV, Internet, music. Good luck and prayers your way!

Danielle - posted on 06/27/2009

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In response to "Carly Hildenbrand".....

I don't think taking over custody of your grandbaby will help your daughter grow up. If anything it will just allow her to think that you're taking all responsibility off her hands, and that is teaching her absolutely nothing, other than the fact that she can do as she pleases. I'm no fan of child abuse, but sometimes tough love is the only answer. If talking to her doesn't do the trick, send her to live with someone else...or cut her off financially. Make her get a job. Or move in to her own place. Or go live with the baby's father.....But dont allow her to walk all over you....and in my opinion- YOU'RE her mom. If you think slapping the snot out of her will work- then give it a try. I wouldnt take it any farther than that though. Now a days its illegal to yell at your kid in public. lol.

Alicia - posted on 06/27/2009

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She still lives with you does she not? I don't have children that old yet, but what did you used to do when they did not listen? I take things away and the things you know really matter. Ground her. Take her privaledges away. How does she support her baby? Do you guys pay for everything? What about babysitting when she wants to go out? I wouldn't give her any money. Make sure the baby has diapers and what not of course, but i would give her no money to spend in fun. I woulnd't babysit so she could go out. She was the one who chose to have sex, why should you be the one to take up all the responsibility. Don't take her lip. Although i know how it is to be mad and want to freak i wouldn't hit her, but you know more than anyone what would hurt her the most when not getting it anymore. You have to let her know that as long as she has no respect she's not getting scrap from you and she's on her own!

[deleted account]

Do you have a Healthy Start program in your area, or a program similar to it? They help families, especially young mothers get on the right path with their babies. They try and get them help with finishing school, finding a job, getting more self sustained. Maybe you are going to have laying down more rules. Don't take custody of the baby unless you feel that your daughter is neglecting her child or pretending like you will just do everything and she can still be a kid. Do you have a minister, community representative, or counselor that you trust to come and talk with both of you? I know that right now you are pissed because your daughter thinks she is all grown now, but I think that if you get someone else in there to help you both see where the other is coming from and bring you both together for the betterment of your grandchild things will get better.

Carly - posted on 06/26/2009

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Do you have custody of the baby? If not get custody and as terrible as it sounds if the loss doesn't change things ask her to leave. Get some family councelling because ultimatley the hope should be that she remain the mother to this child and to do that she needs to grow up fast.

Jill - posted on 06/26/2009

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she is not legally emancipated. so dont belive that someone i worked with her kid had a baby and thowt she could do what ever so they kicked her ass out and then had to take her back cuz they are still resposible for her. i think a good all ass betting wont hert her

Heather - posted on 06/26/2009

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I'll never forget the day when I was 13 and told my mom to "Get the EFF out of my face" She slapped me right then and there...you better believe I never talked to my mom like that again!

Rachel - posted on 06/26/2009

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i now its hard we your child as a baby but you need to just be there she will thank you when she is older i now cos i was 15 when i had my first 1 and i thank god my mom and dad was there for me . the ups make up for the downes.

Heather - posted on 06/26/2009

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She had a baby...she's legally emancipated. Slap that girl in that face and tell her to have some respect!

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