What is the best age gap between siblings?

Simone - posted on 05/27/2009 ( 13 moms have responded )




I have a 14 month old now and not sure when to have my next baby. I thought i'd start to try when my son turns about 2 and a half, so when the baby arrives he'll be around 3 and a half. And that would help me out cuz he'd be a bit more independent.

Then i thought maybe i'll try for another when he's just past one and half, so then they can be close in age and play together......

Mmm.. got no idea!! any suggestions???? Please help!



[deleted account]

my plan was to have my kids about 2 years apart, like my mom did with me and my sisters. but like someone else had mentioned, it depends on your financial situation and such. for my son, he was born while i was in the military so all of my appointments, his birth, our stay in the hospital and all of his baby well checks/immunizations/medications cost me nothing. i was released from active duty in Feb 09 after 4 years, he is now 1 1/2 and we are not trying for another one at the moment due to the economy and our financial situation. i have a sister 2 years older then me and 1 that is 2 years younger. growing up we fought a lot, but once i got to highschool, being a freshman and new to the school it was nice to have my big sister there to help me out, watch my back and stick up for me when i needed her to. and i did the same for my little sister. we looked out for eachother and anyone who wanted to mess around with her, had to go through me first. even now we have our arguements, nad it is hard when we all live in different states, i am now 22 and live in texas, my baby sister is 20 and in minnesota and my older sister just turned 25 and is on active duty in california, but on the rare occasions when we are all home together, we are the best of friends.

Katie - posted on 05/27/2009




My daughter is three and a half. I would like another baby, but we have many dreams and goals to reach to first. I want nothing more then a sibling for my daughter, but I think I would be constantly stressed out over how I can afford "this or that." I'm hoping that when my daughter attends school, I'll have another one because it's one less day care bill to pay for (honestly....you can tell you absolutely should be financially stable)...but then again, I was in my senior year of college and surprised when I was pregnant with my baby girl. It pretty much comes down to..can you handle the financial responsibility, the lack of sleep, and the multi-tasking.....sometimes people tell me that the experiences that they learn the most are not planned and the ones that are planned don't "pan" out as those couples expect them to be.

Shannon - posted on 05/27/2009




I have three children. My 1st and 2nd are 17 months apart. They are 6 and almost 5 now and they fight like you wouldn't believe. My third is 8 months old and both of the older ones are wonderful wih him. It is gonna be different for every family with how close or far apart the kids are. You may have a son now that will be horrible to a new baby no matter what or he could be great. I am very glad I had my first two so close together. But it may not work for you and your son. No matter what having two kids is a completely different experience than just having one. Then the third changes everything all over again. You just need ALOT of patience. And you can really kiss sleeping goodbye...lol. I hope this helps, good luck.


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Lindsey - posted on 05/28/2009




I had asked my mom this question once. her response was at least when the oldest is out of diapers! that way your still going to only change one childs diaper. She did that with me and my siblings, and i think that im going to do the same!

Jocelyn - posted on 05/28/2009




i found out i was preggers again just days after my sons 2nd birthday, so that'll be an almost 3 yr age gap. it seems like a good gap, not too close, not too far apart (they can be friends when the are older, my sis and i are 3.5 years and great friends...now lol) and my first will be more independent by that time, and i'm hoping partly pottytrained

Megan - posted on 05/28/2009




My sons are 3 1/2 years a part its perfect. My oldest is remotely self-suffient and loves helping out. While my youngest thinks he is so funny. The only difficult thing was potty trainning before my youngest came but it worked out.

Jolene - posted on 05/28/2009




I have two boys. They are 4 years 1month apart. It may be a big gap but it works best for my hubby and I. By time our second son was born our first was potty trained, self reliant, and understood what was going on. They also have a great relationship.

Sarah - posted on 05/27/2009




My daughter just turned one & we already want another one =] It all depends on how you & your partner feel & if you feel that you are ready for another one. Go with what you feel =]

Sarah - posted on 05/27/2009




My plan was to start trying for a second baby, when my son was 1 year old. Well, he turned 1 on May 25th but we're not trying. He has encountered some health issues recently so we are waiting to get him situated before we try for a second. The best layed plans...

Kristin - posted on 05/27/2009




Well I would think at leat 2 to 3 yrs, but my kids are 5 1/2 yrs in age, but they play with each other constantly. My son is 6 and my daughter is turning 1 this July and he plays with her all the time and wants to help around the house. I discovered this if you have 2 children of the same sex then you are destined to have arguements (this from experience with my sister), but different sexes seem to be a lot closer with each other.

Kelly - posted on 05/27/2009




My son is only 6 months old and I already want one, but being a single mom, and not really dating i guess its just not in the picture right now......and after 38 hours of labor and then a c-section my doctor recommended me to wait 2 years to have another baby.....so i guess once i find mr. right and its been 2 years i would like to have another.....i think that about 2 1/2 - 3 years is a good age gap....me and my sister are 2 years apart and we have almost always been the best of friends......

Charlotte - posted on 05/27/2009




Everyone seems to have oppinions on this, but really any age gap can be good or bad. Just because siblings are close in age doens't mean they'll get allong. My husband and his siter are a little over a year appart and even as adults they generally dislike each other. My sister and I are about 2 years 4 months appart and we've always been best friends.

You might heard it said, "Farther appart is better for the parents, but closer to gether is better for the kids." I have so many problems with that statement. For one, a stressed-out, overworked, exhausted, depressed, sleep-deprived, fustrated, and possibly even resentful parent isn't good for kids. So I don't think it's selfish for parents to wait on another child until they think they can handle the extra work, expense, etc.

My children are 22 months appart, and as much as I really wanted another baby when I concieved #2, I honestly think I should have gone with my orginal plan of waiting until #1 was a least 2 and potty trained before even trying to get pregnant. Things are getting easier now that the younger one is over 2, but when he was a newborn it was insane. I would never trade him for anything in the world, but I certainly don't want to have kids that close together ever again.

I have also read that a woman's body really needs at least 18-24 months to fully recover from one pregnancy before it's really healthy to get pregnant again. So you might want to keep that in mind when making your decision.

Ally - posted on 05/27/2009




Hey, i have felt the same way my son is 1 year and 8 months and as much as i would like my children close in age. It all depends in your finacial situation and living situation and have any dreams make sure that you do persue them. I want another child so bad to be close with his/her brother but I want to go bk to school to get my photography degree so im going for it. My husband is out of work and trying to pass his policing test so were not in any situtation to have another baby right now. No matter how bad we want one!

Hope I helped hun


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