what to do when my baby's dad doesn't bother with him?

Ells - posted on 11/28/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Hi moms!

Most of you probably already know by reading my older posts and questions that I am a single mom of a 4 years old boy. me and his dad split up when he was 7 months old, for the first 18 months he was seeing him 3 weekends a month but then the courts allowed me to moved back to my home country (italy). I have to say that since i moved here my son's dad has not bothered one bit with him.

-we never received a penny

-never got a phone/ skype call (unless i'd pester for one or i'd ring him, although he has free fone calls to my country and i have an eglish mobile phone always on me)

-never came to visit in 2years

-This year he sent a card but didn't ring on my son's birthday nor sent him a present.



I ask him when he wants to see his son and he doesn't even reply, now he knows i have a new boyfriend (why shouldnt i?!) and he's turned against me the two step kids that i raised (since they were 3 and 5, after their bio mom abandoned them. and they called me mom) and that i love with all my heart.

He keeps on playing with their feelings and it's so not fair on them.



I am tired of having to chase him to see his son and to bother with him. What should i do? My son is fine without him now, but what will happen when he grows up and realises his dad didn't care?

Also I am tired of walking on eggshells around my son's dad, he gets mad for everything. For example I want to get my stepdaughter a wii for xmas seeing tht my stepson already has an xbox, and he flipped.

or when we were on holiday in wales this summer he would sleep until 12 or 1 pm and be grumpy all day and if me and the kids went out to the park he'd go mad and he also didn't want to take them anywhere nor do anything with them.

He's such a toxic person, lazy and selfish. I know i should have known better, but i was blind.

Anyways i am stuck with him forever..



Also i love my step kids soo much i have a tattoo on my back for them, i write them letters every week, i send them presents and i try to see them all the time i can and do special things with them.



I want to fix this situation.....

please advice me how xxx

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Sarah - posted on 11/28/2012

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Sounds like you're doing the best you can. Unfortunately, your son will grow up and realize the type of person his father is. That doesnt mean that he can't still grow up to be a happy healthy man. Is there another male figure in his life? A grandfather? Research shows that yes, children do respond better to a same gener role model, but that person doesnt have to be their biological father.

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