What type of summer routine do you use (bed times)

Katherine - posted on 06/25/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I have an 8 year old girl, who is now done school for the summer and seems to think that she is in charge of the show.



She demands to be able to come and go as she pleases, do what she wants.

Chores never have to be done, yet allowance is still demanded.

She figures just because she has no school, bed times and curfews and non existence



I figure a later bed time maybe.. but 1 and 2am is not acceptable not to mention we still have to work and need our sleep too. .



Her bio mother is often working, so i'm left to deal and manage the SD and the household, yet when Bio M is home, everything is too laid back and any sort of routine goes out the window... What can i do?

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I typed out a summer schedule for my 8 and 5 year old, and put it on the fridge. Even bedtime (9:30pm) is on there, and they check off the things (like chores) that they have done for the day on-time. As long as they mostly adhere to the schedule each day, they earn rewards like outings and fun stuff like stickers and treats. (They don't have an allowance right now, but it could work for earning allowance too.) Talk it over with her bio mom, and see if this would possibly work for all of you. If you agree upon it, or some other arrangement then you can feel good about enforcing it even when she is not around.

Tiffany - posted on 06/26/2009

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You have to have rules of your own at your house the bio mom may do things different but she needs to go by your rules when she is at your house. That is what I started with my stepson and it has worked out great. I am really enjoying his visits more now that we have set rules in place. I dont care what rules bio mom has at her house ours our different. I have 2 other children who live with me full time and know the rules. I will not change them just because my stepson comes around. I hope this was helpful.

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Katherine - posted on 06/25/2009

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We had something like that... but she is smart. Always found new ways to make it look like she did the chores. She also didn't understand that she was required to do them every day not just Friday to get allowance unless we were out of town.

So i change the rules, now she gets $1.40 for every day she does them, and i check before handing out the money. She can either save it for 2 days to go to the movies on the weekend or spend it. She is vary good at saving for what she wants, and sharing. If she goes and buys her self a treat, and brings back something for us too. Most days it is still a fight, but now when she doesn't get the money she understands why.

I never thought of including bed time on there too, that i will have to try.

The Bedroom cleaning drives me mad... Most times i do it my self. She piles junk in corners, always has something sharp in her bed (where everything ends up anyways) We don't currently have the space to keep toys in a play room, but you ask her to clean, and she shuffles the mess around, never taking out dirty dishes (which arn't suppose to be there) or garbage... and fights tooth and nail that is clean.

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