whats the best way to tell a mother-in-law nicely to back off

Carlene - posted on 08/03/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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If any of you have good advice to give please do :)
My mother in law comes over all the time to snoop in our house and make rude coments about our parenting.
Our 3rd baby just arrived may 31st of this year. He was in the hospital for 2 weeks and had seriouse surgery because he has belarie Atresia.
She said it was just because we didnt know anything about being a good parent and that it was our fault for him getting that.
She refused to come and see him before the surgery. But after she came to see him and said she was having a quick visit. We took our other children to the park just to get them away from the hospital and have a normal family activity. When we came back to see our son 2 hrs later. there was my mother in law, holding him and feeding him and told us we dont know everything about his condition and that she should inform us on what was going on with our son. Then the nurse came in and asked who i was, as it was a new shift starting. I replied "im Jaden's mom!" then the nurse looked at my mother in law and said "so your not the mom? why would you lie and say you were this baby's mom?" Then she handed my son back to me and said "sorry hun, i had no idea she was just the grandmother"

Then my mother in law told us what we should be doing and how to do it her way because she knows more than we do. We just told her "thanks, but we are his parents and we know whats best for our baby and children" she said that we know nothing and are not as good of parents as her other son and his wife!

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**Jackie** - posted on 08/03/2012

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Wait...your THIRD baby and she's telling you how to parent?! Give me a break! I'm so sorry you are going through this! Tell her that although you may not know EVERYTHING about your son's condition that is okay because there are DOCTORS that know. Unless she is a doctor, she couldn't possibly know everything and dealt with children with his condition before and BONUS all kids are different! UGH I totally feel your pain.

You need to have a sit down with her. Wait until the kids are not around so that there are no distractions and no one needs to tend to them in the middle of the discussion. Let her know that you are working with doctors and that after having 2 other kids you are well aware of the challenges you are faced with every day.

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