When does normal curiosity become abuse?

Sara - posted on 12/28/2012 ( 9 moms have responded )

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My 5yr old daughter, recently spent the night at a close friends house and her mother came to me and said that she had left the girls alone to take a shower and found them naked with my daughter on top kissing the other little girl. After talking to them my daughter admitted that it was her idea and it was a game my former room mates son, who is a year older, had played with her and another little boy. My friend is extremely concerned now for my daughter saying I need to get her counseling for being sexually molested but another friend who I talked to said its normal and the bigger deal I make of it could make a problem out of nothing. Should I treat this as normal curiosity and talk to my daughter about personal privacy, i have in reguards to adults but didn't think to add friends? Or does the fact she acted it out with another child mean its serious enough that she does need some kind of counseling?

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Michelle - posted on 12/28/2012

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I would do some counseling to figure out where all this is coming from make sure it really is innocent, the other thing I would do is contact cps about the little boy who started it with your daughter as I think he is the one who is being abused.

Amanda - posted on 12/28/2012

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Since another child played this 'game,' which how an adult would coerce a child into participating or being obedient, I would take her just to make sure it is nothing. Child on child abuse is not unusual, especially if one of the children was molested. Just because it was another child doesn't mean she won't be confused or have some problems/doubts/issues once she's older. I would be worried about how often your former roommate's son played these games with her and how far it went... just in case though I would take her.

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Kassie - posted on 12/30/2012

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If I were you I would first contact a professional and ask for their advice and oppinion. Then go from there.

Holly - posted on 12/30/2012

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I personally think that there are too many red flags here and would take my child to a counselor to explore it. I feel there is just too much in this instance. Exploration is perfectly normal don't get me wrong but I would be disturbed by this too and I had 6 siblings and 19 nephews and nieces I took regular care of.

Deanna - posted on 12/30/2012

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Talk to her about appropriateness and then if it happens again, take her to a counsellor. It is not actually normal.

Samantha - posted on 12/28/2012

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A 5 year old being curious and exploratory is normal. A 5 year old telling you its a games she's played with/learned from another child is not.

Feah - posted on 12/28/2012

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I am sorry to say but at 5years old that is not normal. You need to have her speak to a professional and find out what happened. It needs to be reported and looked into. Sit down and ask her what other "games" she played with your mates son. It should be taken seriously.

Ashley - posted on 12/28/2012

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you should talk to her. and you should get her into counseling. the child that did it to her could have been abused, and if so, then there needs to be something done. get to the bottom of it. if you make a big deal and it is nothing, then so be it. but if you make a big deal of it, and there is something going on or something has ever gone on, then something needs to be done.

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