When to have #2?

Darylann - posted on 02/02/2011 ( 98 moms have responded )

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My husband and I have a beautiful 18mo. daughter. I have been really emotional lately about having the next. I feel like its time. My heart is crying out for another baby....my body says do it do it do it now! But I know that another baby would be somewhat of a financial strain on my husband and I. Did any of you moms out there have this problem? Did you go for it? Did it work out? Are you still waiting? Thanks :)

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Nadia - posted on 02/02/2011

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well with my first, she was unplanned and i really wasn't ready to be a mommy. but by the time she turned 2, i really wanted to have another one. so mu hubby and i tried for a year before anything happened (so my daughter was 3) and then i unfortunately miscarried. then 6 months later i finally got pregnant again and now we have another beautiful little girl! they are just over 4 years apart. so, if you realy want another one, then i say start trying! who knows how long it might take for you to become pregnant again. :)

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it's been my experience with most things in life that if you wait for the perfect circumstances, you'll never do it because circumstances are never perfect. there's no day like today! :O) that said, if your finances are is such bad shape that it's a struggle to pay bills or put food on the table...i would said wait for baby 2. if a 2nd baby will only be a small strain on the finances, then go for it because you'll find ways to make do. my husband and i were both poor college students when we got married, and we are still not especially financially stable but we have a gorgeous 19 mos son and we are happy as can be

Stacy - posted on 02/13/2011

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well am son is now 5months old and my little girl is 3 in july and all i can say is it so much hard with to but i enjoy see my little girl have some1 to look after and play with... money well yes we are very much skint but i deal with that i return to work in about 3 1/2 weeks so this might help a bit more



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MiChelle Stephen - posted 4 days ago

All of you that have "really" wanted one so just made it "work" are incredibly selfish parents. It is not about what you all want, but more so what your future child deserves. Making it work with an unplanned baby is one thing, but shame on all of you for robbing your children of what they deserve in life completely. Just because you will settle does not mean your child should have to. Wait until life can be comfortable... people should not be reproducing unless they can take financial responsibility. And those of you that "make it work" so just don't use protection- milking the system and having tax payers pay for your food stamps and medical expenses so you don't have to wait until you have gotten comfortable in life disgust me.



well if that wat you think come to the UK people on benefits at the min are better having lots of kids then us working mother get the shit end of the stick ..... but i don't think you have the right to say people disgust you by say we just get on with it has they are damm right if you don't just get on with the kids suffer any1 can be happy money just help with the basic in life

Heather - posted on 02/09/2011

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My son will be 2 april 30th. I am due with boy #2 may 15th.....When we started trying i just stopped my pill cuz i thought i would need to regulate before i could get pregnant.. so i ended up getting pregnant the first month.. i was hoping to be due in july or so, but i wont complain. It will be financial straining on us just cuz Owens birthday is so close to that and our anniversary in may 2. and then we have car insurance, mothers day etc all in that month.HOWEVER. when i went in for my first prenatal appt, my dr said I planned ti PERFECT, he said 2-2.5 yrs is the perfect time to have another baby. he said of course its hard but after the first few months its a lot easier than if we spaced it longer. and i feel it worked out perfect for us cuz we are having another boy, so i already have everything i need for him. and its all the right size to grow with him into the changing seasons! so that helps the financial aspect. I don't think you can ever be "ready" for a child its just something you have to throw yourself into heart, body, mind and soul. good luck!

Tara - posted on 02/09/2011

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Go for it....with kids you will NEVER be "finacially ready" lol they suck every penny out of ya! But it always works out! Good luck!

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Kelly - posted on 02/18/2011

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We are not in the best financial state right now, but we are expecting baby #3 this summer. We have found a number of ways to cut back spending and try to make extra money - shopping the sale ads, using coupons, buying clothes at Salvation Army, selling things we don't need anymore at consignment shops or online, etc. - we have also realized that a lot of stuff we used to buy, we don't really NEED. It can be stressful at times, but we both feel like it's worth it to grow our family, since we both want to have four kids. We have never actively tried NOT to conceive - just let it happen.
Ultimately, it's a personal decision that only you and your husband can make, and there are many factors to consider. But if you do really want to have another baby, I can tell you confidently that you can find a way to make the budget work. It's worked well for us so far, but we definitely both have to be disciplined about it. I wish you the best, whatever you decide!

Sarah - posted on 02/15/2011

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well to be honest you are never financially ready for kids. i wasnt going to have anymore because i already have one n shes 8 1/2 now. well WHOOPS! 4 months after we got married we found out i was preggo. i bought a new car found out i was preggo n then lost my job n havnt worked since. its been stressful but do-able. baby is 4 weeks now and such a blessing. i say go for it. if you wait until you are some type of ready then nothing will ever come to surface. good luck!!!

Rica - posted on 02/15/2011

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I would say do what would work out best for your family. I have two and I really want a third but I would never interfere with the quality of life that my kids now have. This is something that both you and your husband needs to talk about. You have to think will I need to start working or will my husband need to pick up a second job. The market is tight and daycare is expensive so make a list and do the pros and cons of the idea at hand. Best of luck to you. Oh yeah the harder that you think and wish on it the harder it will be to have another baby. But take your time and enjoy the baby that you have.

Amanda - posted on 02/15/2011

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both me and my husband didn't see any other choice...we both wanted another because we feel our family is not complete...our children are four years apart (our oldest is 4 and our youngest is 4 months) it is a struggle everyday with the finances but we are managing and we are planning to have a third in another four years and we are hopeing to be in a better finanical situation but if we are still where we are then we are going to anyway because we have always managed to make thing work and I am sure u will to..good luck with everything..

Atsirlemes - posted on 02/15/2011

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My daughther will be 2 in 3 weeks and I would LOVE to have another. Just worried about having to pay daycare for 2 kids...

Jenette - posted on 02/15/2011

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I always wanted my children to be 3 years apart so when my son turned 2 I started thinking about trying to get pregnant and have my 2nd shortly after my son's 3rd birthday. We weren't ready financially nor would I get a paid maternity leave but my heart really wanted another. Well we got pregnant the first month of trying but then I miscarried. It was very emotional but the desire to get pregnant lessened a bit because I was so scared of having another miscarriage. So I sat down with my husband and we decided to wait one more year so we could get financially ready and I set things up at my job (I went full time) so I could have paid maternity leave. So I have one more month of birth control left and then we will begin ttc. They will be 4 years apart but it works for us. The first was really hard on us we weren't ready and ended up moving back in with my parents for a bit. This time we will be ready!! So my suggestion is just take the time to really think it through, the spacing is different for every family based on how it works for them financially, job wise, etc. I work more than full time (52 hours a week) so it would have been hard to have mine close together. But if you really feel ready go for it!!

Jarmi - posted on 02/14/2011

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Our daughter was 19 months when we had our son. It's the best thing you can do for your kids, they'll grow up together, it'll be hard at first (my son cried nonstop for 4 months), but after a while, you'll have more time for yourself as they'll be able to play with each other. And if you're already home with your firstborn, might as well raise another one. The time is never right to have another baby, there will never be enough money, you just have to go for it. Good luck!

Chantal - posted on 02/14/2011

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i have an 18month old son and now a 3wk old daughter. we had the same worries but honestly it hasnt costed us much we use my sons swing and most of her clothes we were able to get really cheap and she doesnt go thru many diapers so honestly i dont think its to much more expensive. just plan ahead and buy little by little... it worked out great for us. Good luck and if you have any questions let me know i can answer anything

Lisa - posted on 02/14/2011

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My boys were born 3 and half years apart to the day and it seems perfect :) they are 4 (5 in a few weeks) and 8 now and they play fantastic together and we've never had any problems with jealousy or any of that.

Marianne - posted on 02/14/2011

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My husband and I have a beautiful, very active 20 month old son. I also have Multiple Sclerosis. My drs keep shaking their heads at me when I talk about pregnancy- they are not concerned with me getting pregnant, carrying the baby, but keep asking how I would have the energy, and strength to care for a toddler and a baby. Sure these things are concerns, but there are always options there. We're going for it- life is too short!

Amy - posted on 02/14/2011

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There is always going to be some reason why one shouldn't have a baby, house too small, loss of a job, finances, ect. I always say to never put your life on hold for things like that or else you may never do what you want to do. Things always work out and you make do! I am a SAHM with a 2.5 yr old son and I am pregnant with a little girl this time, due in May! My husband lost his job and had to take a huge pay cut at a new job. Things are a little tight but we will make it work. I am also glad we waited a little while for #2 b/c my son is at the age where he can tell us what he wants and is potty trained. I can't imagine having 2 young babies at once. Good luck with whatever you do!

Ashley - posted on 02/14/2011

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Yes we had the same issue.

I was a stay at home mom, and our income was not so great at all, we had a baby and the second came along when the baby was 21months old..

The age differences were a tiny bit close and my thoughts is that as long as the children are two years apart(age of two by the time you deliver) it will all be that much easier. Before the age of two the child still doesn't understand alot at all as far as communication and understanding of sharing mommy and daddy with another child, we found that our toddler matured alot while I was pregnant as far as calming down and understanding. We also had other issues as well with our first, he didn't talk until he turned 3 and we are finding out now that it is most likely a mild form of autism, so it may have been easier for us in a different scenario.

We originally wanted the kids to be close in age because they would have someone to grow up with and I personally wanted any kids we were going to have close in age so that I wouldn't forget the stages and I could do the diaper stage close and not have to go back to that after I was out of it, and so that when they go to school that's it I can go to work and start doing some things I want to do.

Although we have them somewhat close and it was intense for a while in the first year I love it because they are best friends..literally, they love being together, they share a room and don't fight alot at all, and they give me more breaks becaus they entertain each other alot of the time.

Go and Get pregnant if you are ready because you are at a point were by the time you have a baby it will not be too early.

Good Luck

Heather - posted on 02/13/2011

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You are probably having that feeling because as your child grows you start to want the newborn stage again, I did the same thing!!! My son is 5, just turned. I still don't have another one! We have just enough money to support us three and I know it would be crazy to bring another one in if I'm not sure financial wise! I got over wanting another baby after my son hit 3 and a half and started preschool then I realized I could get used to the me time while my son was in school. We plan to try for another when my son is in Kindergarten! But that's just me, everyone is different!!

Missi - posted on 02/13/2011

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I had my first son and then got pregnant with my second when my first turned one.We were not financially ready for two but new we wanted them close together. They are 4 and 6 now and we made it!! I would do it all over again the same way. Go for it!!

Melissa - posted on 02/13/2011

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i am a single mom of 2, and my 2nd was going to go for adoption due to lack of support and my situation, however my dad said she was welcome home. The social worker i meat with said 4-5 years between kids is nice, however depending on age and situation that's not possible. My son was 4 1/2 years when my daughter was born, he's doing well with her, sometimes he has his jealous moments, but my parents will watch my daughter so i can still give my son some mommy and me time every weekend for simple things like going skating or sleding, to mcdonalds, or tim hortons or to the grocery store.

Melissa - posted on 02/13/2011

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I think I could just keep having babies for ever!! I have a 15 month old right now and my husband and I have a deal, when I get down to 135 (Im currently 195) we will ttc again! I gained 90lbs with the first one bc I just ate whatever whenever without thinking about it and will not make that mistake again! We are not "financially stable" both being students (Im just starting my path to being an oncologist) but know that the Lord will provide if it is his will for us to have another. I just want to have atleast 1 more before medical school, hopefully none in med school though!! Good luck :o)

Peta - posted on 02/13/2011

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My husbad and I were planning on waiting a while (at least a 2yr gap) due to money issues. But I found out just after my Daughters 1st birthday that we were pregnant again - We are expecting a beautiful boy 20 mths after our daughter was born and I wouldn't change it for the world. I'd say go for it if you feel you are ready, you will always make do with what you have, I know we have. I haven't had to buy anything for this one as we had all the big things still and Family and friends have given me all their old baby boy stuff also :) Good Luck

Marisa - posted on 02/13/2011

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My girls are 22 months apart. We wanted them 18 months apart, but took some time conceiving. It was a small strain financially at first, but we budgeted and made it work for us.

Doreen - posted on 02/13/2011

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I have heard it said that if you wait until you can afford to have children, then you will never have children. I believe it is recommended to have 2 years between children. This allows your body to replenish it's stores before more demands are made on it. For us the finances seem to be very tight but working out with 2 children.

Stephanie - posted on 02/12/2011

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My sister is about to give birth to twins and her daughter only just turned 18 months. If you are both happy to have another one start trying and you will find a way to make it work :)

Kelly - posted on 02/10/2011

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It's hard to let go of having a baby in your house, which I'm sure you're finding out with a toddler now :) I have 2 boys 19 months apart and it was incredibly hard on me. I wish I would've waited at least 2 years before I had #2. I stay home, so financially it doesn't impact us and is actually cheaper b/c they're both the same gender (same clothing). I think some benefits of having them further apart include not worrying about #1, having a helper-not 2 babies, and financially spacing out future school expenses (paying for school supplies, clothes, athletic fees, field trips, college, etc.). The nice thing about having them close-your baby stuff is still in style. Good luck to you. I'm waiting on #3. He/she will be at least 3 1/2 years apart from my #2. (Having 2 boys so close in age is soooo exhausting! I need a break!)

Kristen - posted on 02/10/2011

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My husband and I were worried about financial stress even from having our first; given we had some help here and there. Our second child is due May 5, 2011, our first son will turn 2 years old a couple weeks before his baby brother arrives on the scene. I went through the same questions in my head when planning for the second, but we have faith that everything will work out even though it's really tough sometimes (on finances mainly), but we knew all along we wanted 2 children and we wanted them pretty close in age so we went for it! It's a personal decision though that only you and your husband can decide so make the decision that's right for your family. Good luck!

MiChelle - posted on 02/09/2011

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All of you that have "really" wanted one so just made it "work" are incredibly selfish parents. It is not about what you all want, but more so what your future child deserves. Making it work with an unplanned baby is one thing, but shame on all of you for robbing your children of what they deserve in life completely. Just because you will settle does not mean your child should have to. Wait until life can be comfortable... people should not be reproducing unless they can take financial responsibility. And those of you that "make it work" so just don't use protection- milking the system and having tax payers pay for your food stamps and medical expenses so you don't have to wait until you have gotten comfortable in life disgust me.

Chloe - posted on 02/09/2011

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Nice post heather :-) I think I want 2-2 1/2 yrs between my bubs :-) hopefully it works out that way lol

Monica - posted on 02/09/2011

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I have a 18 mnth old son and personally I am waiting a few more years. I have the same problem and don't want to risk it.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 02/09/2011

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I'd say do it when you're both ready for your next one. I'm having my second one now because my birth control decided to not work (The pill) and my first one is 6 almost 7. Most of the age difference for these two is because of different fathers and some other stuff.
As long as you're not struggling to make ends meet I'd say that if both of you feel ready for a baby then you should work out a budget and go for it. If not wait until the economy gets better and your finances are in better shape.

Ayla - posted on 02/09/2011

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My daughter's 17 months and I am currently 15 weeks pregnant with number 2. My husband and I dont make alot of money, I am a stay at home mom so we only have one income but he works alot of overtime in order to provide the things that we want and need. The second one will be cheaper than the first too, you already have pretty much everything you need (depending on gender). They'll never be a "perfect" time to have another. Do it when you feel you're ready :)

Anika - posted on 02/09/2011

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I agree with the emotional stuff. My older child was 18 months when I found out I was pregnant again and I feel like I've rushed her to grow up because I'm also a single mom and I don't get any outside help. I spend one on one time with my oldest at night and she falls asleep in my bed.

But no, financially you will never be prepared lol. Like someone else said, you just learn to make it work. I'm the most frugal person alive lol. Anyway, I like that my kids are close in age because they can entertain one another:)

Krista - posted on 02/09/2011

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I have a 15 month old and a 5 week old daughters. We wanted to have our children close in age. We were shooting for 2 years apart but apparently you are more fertale (sp?) the second time around :-) Things are a little crazy around our house at times. But I think we would have a crazy house hold even if we had them farther apart. I also have a very involved husband so that helps. My oldest gives her sister kisses all the time which is pretty darn cute. I can't wait for them to start playing together! I am crossing my fingers that things continue to go well, we have been blessed with two wonderful girls! As far as money goes, things just seemed to work out. We do not have any more money then when we had our first daughter and we are getting along fine. Good Luck with your decision :-)

Sara - posted on 02/09/2011

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3-5 yrs that is a good time to wait.... i waited 5 yrs and we wernt ready but once they reach a certain age u will be financealy ready

Christina - posted on 02/09/2011

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It really depends on you. Our plan was to wait until our son was about 2 1/2 to start trying for a next one just so we could save up some extra money (mainly financial reasons) but when he was about 11 months old I found out I was 4 weeks pregnant. It wasn't our plan but I know everything will work out financially so we're very excited about it. Just think if you were pregnant now & looking into the pregnancy costs, taking off work if you work & the money you'll need afterwards, will it work out for you?

Jessica - posted on 02/09/2011

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i have 2 boys that are now 6 and 7. i actually did not plan either pregnancy and was surprised by both. i have to say, you find a way. my husband and i were both very young and not totally financially stable at the time, but now, my boys are best friends and i feel as though my family is complete. if you feel this is your time, you will find a way. good luck

BreeAnn - posted on 02/09/2011

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I feel that you can never be fully prepared financially. And it does take 40 weeks so when u find out you are pregnant then you have time to get as prepared as possible. I have a 4 1/2year old son and 2 1/2 year old daughter. We both swore we were finished. But last November I got the baby blues really bad and so we decided we would give it 6 months and if we didn't get pregnant we would stop trying and be grateful for the 2 healthy Angels we already had. Well I got pregnant instantly and am now 11 weeks. We all have the worries about babies being a financial strain, but like other moms I know, we just make it work :) good luck to you and your family!

User - posted on 02/09/2011

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Hubby and I are in the same boat as you. Didn't plan to have another but I might be pregnant so we will see how it works out,hopefully it does.

Tiffany - posted on 02/09/2011

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i was also in the same boat as kyla..when i my daughter was 4 months old i got pregnant and found out 2 weeks after my husband was laid off. he has a new job now, but we still qualify for w.i.c and it helps out alot! i don't think anybody is really financially ready for babies until they have them and know how to manage their money around their children! i say if you want another one, then go for it...everything always works out!

Sarah - posted on 02/09/2011

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I have three kids, 18 months apart each. Each one was a surprise, and each time I worried about how I was going to be able to afford it. We have had to change things about the way we live; no eating out, no splurging on clothes or things we don't need, but I wouldn't change it for the world. We use cloth diapers (the one-in-all kind you can buy online; no pins, no folding. You just toss them in the wash, hang them to dry, and you're ready to go,) I breastfeed, we exchange clothes and supplies with other families (I have two boys, so I'll give their old clothes to a friend with a young baby boy, and she gives me her daughter's old clothes in return. Same goes for toys. When my kids get bored of a toy, we host a toy exchange. Everyone brings a toy or two they no longer want, and leaves with a 'new' toy or two!) Having so many so close has taught me to be creative, resourceful, and to love living simply.

On a more emotional note, I do sometimes regret being unable to enjoy my kids' baby- and toddler-hoods as much as I could have if siblings hadn't come so quickly. I feel like I miss out on some aspects of their lives because I'm busy with the more needy parts of the younger ones, or because I've "been there, done that" and just want them to become more independent so I don't have to be on my toes all the time. My husband and I make a special point to spend one-on-one time with each one a few times each month. We have his mother watch one of them while he and I each take one out for some fun at the park, window shopping at a toy store, or at home playing a game. Even my 11 month old gets time with us individually. It helps let them know they are loved, and helps us remember to enjoy the little things that make them unique.

Tiffany - posted on 02/09/2011

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Well I have 4 2 boys and 2 girls 6yrs-1yr of age lol so my kids was close. really no matter who u talk2most people are not ready for a baby lol! it can be there 1st or there 5th. some people just like haveing a baby n the house and as yours get older u might start2 want a infant agin! if you and your husband want a baby go 4 it and GOD will handle it 4u if its ment2be! was my husband and I at frist didn't think we could have kids now look at us! lol :) we have a little basketball team! "lmbo"

Kaylynn - posted on 02/09/2011

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My son is 18 months old and his father and I planned on having him (although the 2nd time without protection was a little too fast lol) But I have wanted another one but defintely not ready but found out a week ago I am a couple months pregnant so I guess we will have to do what we have to. We are both excited but financially we are going crazy trying to figure out what to get early and what we will need. I would say if you arent financially set wait bc having to split the little money you have now for two is kinda selfish but if you think you will have the money and time for another than I say go for it!!!

Andrea - posted on 02/08/2011

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I agree! I love that my kids are close together! 3,2 and 4 months. They will Always have someone to play with! We plan to have 2 more! big families are great and we plan to have them one right after another!

Andrea - posted on 02/08/2011

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If you wait to be "Financially secure" You will never be ready. Because when is anyone REALLY financially secure. Go for it. Life is to short. I have 3 kids, 3,2 and 4 months. No regrets. Sure it means we may not take big expensive vacations or drive big expensive cars but that is a sacrifice we were willing to do. A tip to help save money is go to every diaper brand, formula brand websites and sign up for their newsletters and they will send you coupons. I have 2 kids in diapers and I spend Maybe $50 a month on diapers. Worried about formula costs then breast feed, even if it only for a few months it will save you a ton on money!
Hope that helps!

Tiffany - posted on 02/08/2011

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my daughter was 4 months old when i got pregnant w/ #2.. they are 13 1/2 months apart and it is not bad at all. alot of ppl. tell me it is great to have them close in age b/c they will be best friends.

Katie - posted on 02/08/2011

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My son will be 21 months on the 11th and I am 14 weeks pregnant with our next! We are by far rich, but are comfortable and I know people in worse money situations than us that have one, two, even three kids and are making it work! Money is a big deal, obviously, but you make it work if your financial situation isn't likely going to change. (Unless of course you are REALLY hurting financially...)

Bonnie - posted on 02/08/2011

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My advice after having two - wait until your oldest is potty trained BEFORE getting pregnant! Also with a financial strain, the longer you wait the longer you have to get your finances in order. You don't need to have that financial stress with a new baby.

Jackie - posted on 02/08/2011

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there is 6 years between my 2 children, my son will be 7 in July and my daughter will be 1 in June. Only you and you husband can decide when to have another baby. When i had my 2nd i was scared due to it being almost 6 years between my 2 and i thought that i wouldnt cope, however my son dotes on his sister, he is always there with the nappies, and wipes, always wanting a cuddle from her, He is so helpful its great. Dont think he would have been the same if i had her before now. Good luck

Jillian - posted on 02/08/2011

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if most people waited till they were really "financially stable" most people wouldn't have children...you'll find a way to make it work itll be ok!

Brittany - posted on 02/08/2011

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My son 10 months, and we are trying. Yes, it will be hard. But I know that it's time. No one else can make that decision for you, it's up to you and your hubby. If you're both up for it, go ahead!

Nana Adwubi - posted on 02/08/2011

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having a next baby would guarantee that ur daughter has a playmate and they develope the sibling bond earlier than most.i intend to have my next after my daughter as soon as i can. waiting for too long makes you a bit rusty :)

Chantel - posted on 02/08/2011

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My girls are 21 months apart. We want to try for another one because my DH says he is out numbered and wants to try for a boy. I am a teacher though so we won't even try until August - October so that I will be due in the summer months. He wants to try this year but I am thinking of waiting until the next year.

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