When to have my 2nd child...

Stella - posted on 01/18/2010 ( 10 moms have responded )

13

18

2

I have a little girl that will be 2 in March...and my husband and I have been trying to get rid of some of our debt so in the next couple of years we can be debt free, and well on our way to getting moved into our own home... my daughter has a great personality, very friendly, and easy-going... so i have a good feeling that she would adjust well to a sibling, but I want her to be old enough to understand, and enjoy the experience of becoming a big sister... So i just need some advise on how long i should wait to have my second child... I haven't potty trained my daughter yet, but i dont want to wait too long, because im afraid my kids wont want to spend time together...

10 Comments

View replies by

User - posted on 03/08/2014

7

0

1

I've been wondering this myself. My daughter has just turned 4 and me and my partner are only just starting to discuss our 2nd child. We thought it would be best to wait till my daughter was at a more independable age, (potty trained, in a big bed, off dummies and in a very good routine) my 2nd will arrive when my daughter will be in school so i can get a routine to fit around my oldest (making it so i have one to one time with both children) each to their own, if you and partned feel ready for another one then go for it.

Jessica - posted on 01/18/2010

3

21

0

Hello, I have two boys. One is almost 6 years and the other is 7 months. I really never planned ahead of time... my husband and I just knew when the time was right to have our second. I'm very happy with the age difference of my children. Not only is my older son a HUGE help, but he is also very understanding about the baby needing a little more attention than him because he is very self sufficient. I have 2 brothers myself. One is 20 months older and the other is almost 5 years younger, and I am equally close to both of them. Maybe that is why I never gave any thought to having my children 5 yrs. apart?? It has worked out great for us and I wouldn't have it any other way. With that said, if my husband and I were ready to have our second child earlier than we did then we would have. If your ready then go for it!!! If not, I personally wouldn't worry too much about a bigger gap in years between children, but that is just me. Good Luck!!!!

Liz - posted on 01/18/2010

2,013

3

450

It all depends on what you prefer. Personally I think 2 to 3 years apart is a good age distance. My twins are almost 20 months old now, and will be a little over 2 years old when our third baby will be born in July.

Paula - posted on 01/18/2010

2

5

0

my daughter was 1 yr and 9 months old (she is 21/2 now)when my 2nd daughter was born. She adjusted pretty well. i am trying to potty train my daughter now. i am also pregnant with our 3rd baby. so our kids are pretty close in age and get along pretty good for the most part.

Rebecca - posted on 01/18/2010

62

16

4

I wanted to have my kids three years apart. Doctors say that it is good to let you body have at least two years between having kids so you body can replenish the nutrients need to have another baby and you can be more emotionally ready to have another one. My aunt had her two kids just over a year a part and I have no idea how she was able to cope.That being said...... If you and your husband are ready to have another baby then it is the right time for you. My daughter is going to be two in april and I am almost 2 months pregnant with the next one. I think it is going to be a challenge with the two of them cuz my daughter really doesnt like to share mommy but i also didnt want my kids too far apart that they couldnt relate to each other. I think any age could be difficult because the child gets use to having your complete attention. As for the potty training i would either do it before you are pregnant or early in your pregnancy or wait until after your next baby is born. My newphew was almost completely potty trained by the time my daughter was born but reverted after because it was ok for her to to go in her diaper but not for him. I took a couple months after she was born for him to start going on the potty again.

Marah - posted on 01/18/2010

3

19

0

Obviously it will be different for every family, and each child. I have two kids who are 22 months apart. My son, who is older, loves his little sister and is very protective of her. And my little one follows her big brother around everywhere! It's really adorable. You just need to make sure that when you do get pregnant you explain everything that's going on to your daughter. Get her to pat your belly and talk to the new baby. I'm expecting my third in May and both my kids (who are 3 and 17 months now) love talking to the new baby and rubbing my belly. If you have friends with new babies you should let your daughter spend some supervised time with their babies to give her an idea of what to expect when her little brother or sister comes. Kids tend to adjust quickly to new situations so it's really up to you and when ready for #2. I hope it all works out for you!

Katelyn - posted on 01/18/2010

4

0

0

I think you have a great plan! I got pregnant with my second child when my daughter was about 20 months old, not much age difference with your daugther, and to be honest I would have waited longer. My daughter is very sweet and easy going as well, but every child needs time to adjust to a big change such as a new sibling. My goal was to get her potty trained before my son was born, but she was having to adjust to a very tired mommy, talks of a new sibling, showers, etc that delayed her potty training progress. When my son was born potty training pretty much stopped! She started to regress and act out a little bit, even though she is very loving and likes to "take care" of her little brother. My advice is to wait just a little bit longer, until you think you can get her potty trained, into a big girl bed, etc before your second is born! I sure wish I would have waited a few more months!! If you wait until your daughter is around 2 1/2, then she will be a little over 3 when your second is born, which is plenty of time to potty train and do whatever else you need to do and a 3 year age difference is not that much! Plan as best you can, in my experience there is never a "right" time to get pregnant, just trust that everything will work out for the best!

Melisa - posted on 01/18/2010

17

9

1

well i only have one kid but we do want more and i know how you feel you want the older one to help you out i was thinking to have another one maybe in a year or two but you will know when the time is right.

Eva - posted on 01/18/2010

46

7

7

I HAVE 2 KIDS. MY OLDER SON IT'S 3 MY YOUNGER DAUGHTER IS 9 MONTHS. TO BE HONEST WITH YOU I WOULD IT WANNA WAIT A LIL BIT LONGER. BUT, THEY GET A LONG VERY WELL HE TAKES CARE OF HER AND HE LOVES HER VERY MUCH. I THINK MAYBE HALF OF YEAR OR ANOTHER YEAR FOR YOU WILL BE OK IF YOU DON'T WANT THEM TO BE VERY FAR APART. GOOD LUCK!

Nikki - posted on 01/18/2010

1,524

23

153

Personally I want my kids 2 1'2 years apart. I want them to be close in age so they grow up together and are around the same grades in school. I also want to be done by the time im 30 and i'm 28 now, my son is 7 months. We are planning to start trying when he is 14 months, my husband and his sister are 18 months apart and the best of friends, my brother and I are 4 and 1/2 years apart and it wasnt until a few years ago we became close. But it is entirely up to you and when you are ready for the next one!!!

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms