when to plan a second child?

[deleted account] ( 12 moms have responded )

my husband and i want to have another baby but are unsure of the best time to add to our family. we have a 10 month old and wonder if we should start trying when she is around 1 1/2 years or if we should wait till she is out of diapers for a while. i think it will be better in the long run if they are closer in age, any advice?


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[deleted account]

My husband and I are also trying to decide when to try for our second child. I have one sister and we are 2 years and 2 months apart (to the day!). Growing up, it was wonderful for us being close in age because we could play together and now that we are older, we were able to go through experiences like marriage and pregnancy together too. She is my best friend! We had our first children 2 months apart (both boys!). So, personally I think it is nice to plan for children to be somewhat close in age, but it is 100% your choice! Just do whatever you feel is right for your family. Best of luck to you!

Brooke - posted on 04/22/2009




I too think it's a personal choice for each family. My husband and I got pregnant when our daughter was 2....her and my son are 32 months apart. It's great...they play incredible together. Our son will be 2 next week and we plan on trying come late summer, early fall...that way he'll be 3. So, not too far apart but not too close either.

[deleted account]

I would either plan around when you want to potty train your son. Either potty train and then have the baby or have the baby and then potty train, either way I would say wait until your son is about 18 months old and then have another one they will be about 3 years apart thats what I would have liked to do, but it didnt work out that way... but really its a personal choice

[deleted account]

my husband and i are planning on getting pregnant shortly after my son turns two, so hopefully he'll be potty trained by the time the second on comes along. when our little one was around seven months i had the urge to try for another, but we decided to wait, he is 14months old now and has hit an extremely fun active phase and wants to play with me all the time, so im glad we decided to wait, as i dont think i would have the energy to give him the attention he needs right now, also around two years we will probably be starting him in a playgroup, so he'll be playing better with kids his own age (he's still really shy right now)...it is a really personal choice, but this is how we decided for right now...

Jacki - posted on 04/22/2009




I definitely agree with the other moms saying it is a personal choice. I have a 6mo old and want other kids too. My husband and I have decided that once our son it potty trained or at least starting to use the potty then we will try for our second.

Amanda - posted on 04/22/2009




My girls are 11 months apart and I never had any jealousy issues either. Alyssa will be 1 next week and Jordan will be 2 in May. I absolutely love them being so close! They are starting to play well together & really enjoy each other most of the time:) But of course it is a personal choice how far apart you want them. There is no specific age gap that works for everyone just what you want and what works.

Lindsay - posted on 04/22/2009




I have an 18 month gap between my kids and love it! They are now 4 and 2 1/2 and are so close. There is no question that whatever age you have your 2nd it's a challenge but it truly wasn't as hard as I expected. When they are younger you don't have the jealousy isuues that I think you get when they are a little older and used to having all of your time for so long. My brother and sis in law have about a 2 1/2 yr difference between theirs and seem to be having a harder time adjusting than the 18month gap.

Rose - posted on 04/22/2009




i have 3 kids. the gap between the first is 4y and the gap with the youngest is 14months. i fint it realy hard looking after a 1yo and a 2yo, i would only recoment it if you have a great support in family. the 4y gap isn't too good either as she cant quit help and the little one donesnt play her way. i would recoment the start trying once the child is 2.

Erica - posted on 04/22/2009




My son is now 5 yrs old and my daughter will be turning 2 in the end of July so there is a 3 year difference between my kids but now we are thinking about having a 3rd child but not sure if we are ready for it. As long as you are ready then anytime is a good time. Only you know when you are ready.

Diane - posted on 04/22/2009




i agree with what the other girls have said. I have a 17 mth age gap between our boys and i think its great how close they are but it is hard work. Planning on waiting untill our youngest is around 2 before we try for our third.

Rebecca - posted on 04/22/2009




I agree with Donna, it is a personal choice.
We had our second baby Christmas day 2008 (i no good timing lol)
But we started trying when our little girl was 2, she was 3 (2 months late) by the time we had her sister.
i think the age gap is lovely because they can help and they love it.
we are planning to try for our third when our second turns 2.

Donna - posted on 04/22/2009




its a person choice thing. But if you want them close then i would start trying now for another one. But if you want your first daughter out of diapers before you have a second one you may have to wait a while. girls will tend to toilet train between 2yrs and 3yrs old depending on the child... so u maybe waiting for awhile.

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