When were you confortable letting the "in-laws" babysit?

[deleted account] ( 8 moms have responded )

My daughter is 2 months old and the question has already popped up about when the "in laws" can babysit. My mum babysits for just over an hour when I go to the gym. My partner’s dad smokes inside so I’m really not comfortable with the situation. Just wondering how you coped especially when you don’t really know them that well.

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Sarah - posted on 09/26/2009

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my daughter is 10 months old and still has not been babysat by anyone in my boyfriends family and i wont let them for a long time to come. (they have only met her about 5 times and they only live 20 minutes away, which to me says they dont care about her and why would i send her with someone like that?)

every time it comes up i just ignore the comment and change the subject. it may be rude but it gets my point clearly across that IT WILL NOT HAPPEN!

just try to explain that she is still young and you are still working out kinks with her schedule and you arent prepared to leave her with somebody else yet. that also works for me because i live with my parents and i can easily put my daughter to bed before i go out and all my mom has to do is listen to the monitor, so it turns out to be an easy excuse of not wanting to mess up her bed time routine.

Kate - posted on 09/25/2009

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sounds harsh but tell them your not ready its a different relationship with them even get your aprtner to talk to them especially about the smoking if their not prepared to play by your rules then tough its your bub and you are mum

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Brandi - posted on 09/27/2009

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My daughter was 2 1/2 mos. old when i went back to work very part time. My mother babysat only when i was at work. I had a really hard time letting anyone else with my baby. I can't remember exactly when i allowed my in-laws to babysit, but i do know that when they did, I left detailed instructions about feeding schedule, sleeping scedule, and general house rules. NO SMOKING IN THE HOUSE. this last rule has been a long-standing rule since my husband and i started living together, so all smokers who have ever visited us have never been allowed to smoke in our home. Also leave a list of phone numbers and people you trust to call in case of an emergency. Dr. numbers, hospitals, tel-a-nurses whatever makes you feel more comfortable with leaving your baby with someone other than you. I also told the sitter that i would call home at some point just to check in. Also I made the first couple of excursions short ones. maybe just to the store or to dinner then maybe a movie. take it slow and do whatever you feel is necessary to make you feel comfortable with leaving. It's really hard at first, but believe me before you know it (2 kids later in my case) you will be running out with nothing more than a hug and kiss for the kids. lol

Lani - posted on 09/26/2009

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it shouldn't be a problem as long as you know your baby is safe and is comfortable with them

Gwen - posted on 09/26/2009

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I really don't like leaving my baby with the "in-laws" but my husband trusts them completely and they all have experience with babies. Very rarely do I leave my baby with anyone.

[deleted account]

What about letting them babysit at your place, and discussing beforehand that there is to be no smoking around your daughter? It's not totally fair to let your mom babysit but not his parents unless they would put the child in danger-and I consider smoking around her a danger-so if you could remove that, maybe that would help? I dunno. I just feel like unless they're irresponsible or you're worried about them hurting her then it's probably ok for them to. I mean, they raised your husband, right? I don't have the best relationship with my in-laws, but they did raise two healthy and happy men, so I trust them as much as I can trust anyone who isn't directly related to me. My in-laws babysat about a week after my parents first did-when my son was about 3 months old.

Nkolika - posted on 09/24/2009

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My Mother in law leaves several in another state but she is very kind so I will not mind her babysitting as soon as possible.If u have good in laws I do not think there is harm in letting them help out as soon as they can. cos u need a little alone time for yourself.

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