why ?????

Candice - posted on 09/19/2009 ( 9 moms have responded )

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why is it that after you have a baby people stop calling , and wanting to make plans... i had my baby in august and ever since then my family friends and even my bf ( whos not living with me atm ) dont have the time to call ,come by or even txt...... any helpful tips to make it so this situation doesnt continue to make me more depresssed than it already is ?

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Candice - posted on 09/21/2009

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seems like it .... guess im gunna have to try AGAIN to find moms in grande prairie.... not as easy as it sounds lol

Laura - posted on 09/21/2009

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I had to move away from my friends and family, although my family and I are super close, my friends have really drifted since gettting married and having a baby. Most of them still go out all the time, and they don't waste their time asking me to go. My best friend just told me last week, that she misses the old me, and now that my life is different, things arent the same. I can't really blame her, but it does suck. But that's probably why - they probably figure you can't or won't go out with them until 2 am, so they just don't bother asking, and unfortunately, most people are just too selfish to give up a night of drinking for a movie night - that's my friends at least~!

Candice - posted on 09/21/2009

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my family all lives in ontario and i moved to grande prairie alberta and got pregnant almost immediatly .... so i didnt get a chance to get to kno many ppl ... ive tried calling and txting but its seems i never get an answer . i might just have to see if i can find a moms group to join ... its just hard to make it there becuase im living out in the country right now and can only get into town if my friend isnt too busy to drive me ( shes just about the only friend whos been around and shes more like a mother figure seeing as shes like 40 yrs older than ,me )

Lisa - posted on 09/20/2009

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I'm so sorry that's happening to you...it happened to me too. People just think you are too busy with the baby or sleeping to want company, which is ridiculous. Have you tried calling friends and family and inviting them over? I got post partum real bad with my second because I had nobody...i would definately suggest inviting people over!!

Tammy - posted on 09/20/2009

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we had that same problem, friends stopped coming around because they thought we needed time to settle in, wanted time to ourselves etc. We had to keep telling them that we wanted them to come round, they weren't disturbing us. We would also go visit them as well. Everything is back to normal now, our son is 11 weeks old. Good luck!

Antonia - posted on 09/19/2009

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I know the feeling I had my daughter over a year ago and people slowing stopped calling or texting or coming by. Some said cause they could not relate and others just never gave a reason. Every day I stop and remember the most important person in my life is my daughter so if someone has an issue with that so be it. The only thing that has really changed about me is my priorities. You could try finding other moms, like at play groups or online forums in your city. You would be suprised how just one mom friend can help out

Ashley - posted on 09/19/2009

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i agree with both of these ladies. call them. i was feeling sorry for myself after i had my first and thought my friends dont care. they dont want to be around me anymore because i have a baby. then i thought about it and it goes two ways. if you arent trying in anyway to keep in contact with them they probably think you are too busy for them. now if i havent heard from my friends in about a wk i'll pick up the phone and call them. we'll usually make plans to do something that week. my friends didnt know how i was feeling until i told them. once i told them how i felt they apologised and werent intentionally making me feel that way. just talk to them, thats probably the best thing you can do

Elizabeth - posted on 09/19/2009

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yeah i know the feeling the same thing happened to me. people feel that you want alone time and your probably very busy and tired so they stay away for a while. which does make you more depressed! i called my friends and family and invited them over and then it slowly got better. don't feel ashamed to call your friends and ask them to come over. im sure they would love to see you and your baby.

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