why do ppl think young moms are bad mothers?

Melissa - posted on 08/24/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

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why is it that as soon as most ppl see a young mother walking aroung with her child they automatically think she is a slut and a horrable mom? im 20 my son is 6 months old. i walk around the mall and i get all kinds of rude stares. one lady came up to me thinking my son was my little brother. when i said he is mine she went off the handle saying that im too young and i should have put him up for adoption or aborted him. then she said young single moms need to have their tubes tied "especally if their single and dress like u" i was wearing semi baggy jeans that werent even sagging and i was wearing my fiancee's shirt.just then my fiancee comes by i grab his arm politely say " sorry i can't talk now my fiancee is here" and we walk away. then whats funny is i hear her huffing in the background and my son spits.

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Carly - posted on 08/27/2009

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I had my 1st son at age 15 and am now 26 with 3 kids. every time i went somewhere i would always hear someone make remarks one day i had enough and said i might be young but i know iam a damn good mum what has age got to do with it anyway there are plenty of older mothers who have their kids taken away from them for not looking after them.It makes me so sick when i see young mums (teens)and hear other people make rude comments about them.I am proud to say iam 26 and my son is 10 almost 11 and dont care what people think of me

Josia - posted on 08/24/2009

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I was nineteen when i had mine too and i got all kinds of judgments from day one. From the nurses who kept going on and on about contraception or wouldnt bother to show me anything because i was too young, to random strangers calling me a "kid". It used to really upset me and knock my confidence as a mother. But in the end i realised that i know me better than they know me and age doesnt make a mother. When he was in hospital (was born preterm due to a condition i have) there were 8 crack addicted babies and not one of them came from a teenage mother. I was there for my kid everyday he was in hospital sometimes til three in the morning when mothers older than me would only visit a few times a week. One told me she didn't see the point as her kid was going to stay in hospital for a few weeks anyway. I dont regret having a baby young and would LOVE more. I'm glad i have actually i have found it really beneficial. So what if i look like his sister i take it as a compliement as i think i am a yummy mummy lol. Besides if someone calls me his sister he corrects them. When people would give me crap about it i'd snap and tell em i'm 30 then theyd shut up. It's funny i've found that being 25 and a mum with a five year old is ok but being nineteen with a baby isn't Weird huh?

Dustie - posted on 08/24/2009

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I know the feeling I am 30 and have 3 kids my oldest is 13 when I come up to his school for things they always assume im his big sister, plus my nine year old is a girlscout when she started I was 26 all the moms would give me ugly looks at first yet I was the only one who volunteered for anything and ended up being the leader its ridiculous cause i have several friends who had kids young in life and I find that we are more involved in our childrens lives than people who had children latter in life I think thats what should get the ugly stares,when people see me with my 4 year old I dnt get alot of flak but when the other two walk up its oh my your so young to hav so many and your done right you dont need any more it infuriates me

Sabrina - posted on 08/24/2009

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i know how you feel i was 19 when i had my son wich is now 3 i had a bunch ofpeople ask me if he was my little brother and id say no hes my son and they would say well your way to young to have a kid but i think its better to have them while your younh so you can play with them more

[deleted account]

I am 24 and I just had my third child a little over a week ago, and had my first when I was 20 about to be 21, so I know ALL about the looks that you get!! It is a little weird sometimes being a younger mom, but I wanted it that way. I can't believe how goofy people are about you being a mom in your 20's....people act like you aren't adults that know how to handle things....it drives me nuts too. People give me looks when I tell them how old I am and that I have three kids....it gives me a thrill to be perfectly honest.... =) Anyways just ignore the goofy people that make judgmental comments and I would love to know how many of those people had younger moms.(cause you know some do!!)

Leasia - posted on 08/24/2009

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I know how that goes, I'm 25 and I have 3, but I wanted them, we planned to have them all early that way I could be 40 with my kids graduating. My oldest is about to turn 4. I do get all kinds of rude stares and remarks, but I believe a baby is a gift. Just tell them, this is what you wanted, and don't worry about what they think. I think she is horrible for telling you should have given him up or aborted him. I was told I should put mine up for adoption when I told them I was pregnant but looking at my son now, there's no way that would have happened...best of luck to you! :)

Lindsey - posted on 08/24/2009

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That's funny that your son spit! LOL :) I find it weird because I'm 27 and my oldest is six and my youngest is almost 1. My son is in football and there isn't a single mother there that is still in their 20s. I feel uncomfortable sometimes. But as long as I know that I'm a good mom and I love myself and my kids, what other people think doesn't matter. That woman is one of the extremes that doesn't know how to keep her nose out of other people's business. If you go to google and search child abuse, which I had to do for a school project, a lot of the parents who hurt their children were older. Search for statistics and the next time a person like that comes up to you, politely tell them the statistic, smile and walk away.

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