Why don't husband's give suport wife's when they are pregnant

Lesinda - posted on 09/07/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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When we found out that i was pregnant. My husband was very distant. He did'nt suport me at all. Why do they do that?

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Karen - posted on 09/07/2009

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Try and give him some things he must do every day and explain to him why you want him to do these things with your daughter and you. I got my husband to bath our daughter every night. This created a bonding time for him and our daughter. A man only becomes a father the day he sees the baby, other need a bit of a push in the right direction. Hope this helps

Rita - posted on 09/07/2009

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it takes some people, not just men, to bond with their partners as mothers and also their children. Try not to push too much and do some fun things together. Also you must remember it is a difficult time for him as well as you. As the provider in the family men worry about things like finances and such. Has he gone to drs appointments? Does he know much about pregnancy? perhaps drop little facts in like where your daughter is developmentally, how big she is, how big you tummy is, how active she is, what she seems to get more active for. Obviously don't go over board just drop them in when everything is silent.

What is his family like? maybe he is just unsure about what to do and how to act. DO you talk about feelings often? perhaps tell him how you are feeling with i statements like..."I am feeling excited because we will be a real family in only 2 months" then ask him how he feels. When he comes home from work you can say "I am feeling so tired today, I (list things you did) our bubba seems to take lost of energy to grow (say the last bit jokingly of course) How are you feeling, what did you get up to today?"


Have you told him just what you need, how and why? I found my finance just had no idea what to do sometimes....And me being bloody tired, faint and sick was not explaining well also I was exploding at him for no reason. When I got into the specifics of say "I am on the gym ball because it makes my pelvis feel better but my back is still hurting, please put a heat pack on my lower back for me" Once I became more aware of what i was doing we got on much better....of course it took a while to get to that point lol

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It's just a guy thing. I had the same problem when I first got pregnant with my son. It took a bit for him to get his head around the fact he was going to be a dad. Your partner may just need that bit of time. If you havn't had any scans and things yet might pay to get him to go along with you as I found that it help. Hoope I am of some help to you.

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