Will he ever grow up?

Kayla - posted on 07/01/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I am 20 years old & although it was unplanned i love my little girl more then anything in the world!! Her father is 31 years old and she is his first child and he still lives with his mom and loves to party it up.He doesnt think she is his, but there is NOBODY else that could be her father, him & only him. So then he keeps saying he wants a DNA test done and i am perfectly ok with that, if he needs some reassurance then go ahead but everytime we have schedule to do it he makes up an excuse and then wants to procratinate. She is already almost 5 months old and i have been trying to make him feel apart but im beginning to think he just doesnt want anything to do with her. It hurts me because i was raised with both parents and i swore to myself that i would try to make sure my children would have both as well, although these days its very rare. I am so tired of stressing about it and i wanna just stop trying but its hard.He pushes me away more and more daily...i just dont understand why he doesnt want to except responsibility...he has had his time to live it up and do whatever he wants, why does he keep running? I thought older guys were the type who would want this, i was proven wrong. I was just wandering if anyone else has or is going through something similiar and why he keeps procrastinating? Reguardless of what he decides to do I WILL be there for her and make sure to give her the best life possible!!!! & thats a promise. Thanks.

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Aracely - posted on 07/22/2012

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If you go through the child support system they will court order the test. when it comes out positive he will have to pay for the test. From there they will also go for child support and health insurance. I know it can be hard but you sound like a strong woman who will raise a strong girl. Keep your head up.

Louise - posted on 07/02/2012

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This man keeps putting off the test because he knows that she is his and having a postivie test result means he is going to have to face upto the fact that he is a dad with responsibilities. He may not of wanted to be a dad so he should of took precautions, he didnt so here she is. To late to moan about it! If I were you I would stop trying to contact him and once the test is done hit him where it hurts, his wallet. Go to court and get sole custody and maintenance. You are owed this! This little girl is very lucky that she has a mum who is going to fight for her future. Write him a letter telling him that you would like him to know his daughter, but it has to be a regular thing and he cant just walk in and out of her life. See if you get any response. If not then you know that you are doing this alone. Make a daddy box whilst he is still around. Pictures of him, silly memories anything really. This man is going to do a runner the minute he realises that he has to grow up. This box will make things easier for your daughter. A face that she recognises as the man that made her (not her father) this would be the man that comes into your life and raises her as his own.

Dont chase or push for a relationship with the father, if he is struggling with reality he is going to run and hide. So be strong, go to court and get some financial help if nothing else from him.

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