wondering if anyone else has a lack of sex drive after having their baby?

Kayla - posted on 11/23/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

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Hello , i was wondering if anyone else has lost their sex drive since having their baby? I just don't "want it" anymore and am unsure as to why this has happened. I am still in love with my man and am attracted to him, but don't have the urges I did before having our daughter. I was just wondering if anyone else has gone through this and what did you do to get that sex drive back? Thank you for your help ;)

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Mhetrick81425 - posted on 08/07/2014

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I am same way I have 3 kids and since I have been fixed my sex drive has gone down it upsets my hubby cause of it. It has put a damper on our relationship and I hate that I love him to death I just don't know what to do I regret having my tubes tied and wish I didn't have them tied I have 3 boys and wanted a girl so so badly we both did

Melissa - posted on 11/24/2009

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I completely understand how you feel! For me i completely lost my sex drive since the beginning of my pregnancy. Unlike most women where thier sex drives increase during pregnancy, i lost mine through the whole thing and still after having my daughter. i was really nervous to get back intimately with my husband, i still didnt have a drive but we tried. Honestly, i think what set me back is that it was painful for me. so it took all the fun and intimacy and drive out because it hurt. (and if something hurts you arent going to want to do it). my daughter is now 3 months old and i am just now starting to get my drive back here and there. After it didnt hurt anymore and i slowly started feeling better from after having the baby, it began to be fun again. so it just takes time, but dont worry you will eventually get it back. im not sure if this helped you at all, but i hope it did lol. good luck!

Kayla - posted on 11/24/2009

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Thank you all for the advice!!! I appreciate it and at least I know I'm not alone and that this seems to be "normal" after having a baby.

April - posted on 11/24/2009

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i went through that for years and finally I just asked. I was tolled to do "it" anyway and the contact and such will restart your drive. Now its my hubby who can't keep up lol

Derikkia - posted on 11/24/2009

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i dnt know if it so much that my sex drive deminished i think my problem is that im scared of gettin pregnant again

Cassandra - posted on 11/24/2009

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I can definitely relate! After my first son my drive diminished a little but whenever he was gone I would try to take advantage of the situation. After my second was born it seemed like I was just too exhausted all of the time and any free time I had was designated as nap time. And I've spent SOOO... much time trying to convince their father that it has nothing to do with him or that I'm any less attracted to him. I think as they get older, it gets a little better though....it's just taken longer than I thought.

Jamie - posted on 11/24/2009

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Wow I never really thought about that but I guess that happend to me as well. I did not want it anymore etheir. Its weird, sometimes i feel okay other time. I just don't want to be botherd.

Brandy - posted on 11/23/2009

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I had the same issue, but what we had to do was try new things, and it sounds crazy, but sometimes we would schedule sex lol. But the main thing that helped was that about once every two weeks we wait until the kids are down for the night, we turn off the tv, and turn on some music and make our own dinner together. Then we cook together, but NO CLEANING. We save the cleaning for the morning. Then after dinner we cuddle and watch a movie or play a game or what have you, and then we do it. Even if I am not in the mood I find that once we're goin at it, I get into the mood. Sometimes I even do costumes. All of these things really help as crazy as some of these things might sound.

Justina - posted on 11/23/2009

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Try some new positions. After my son was born I had no interest in sex, but the positions help and try new foods. Sometimes it can be a lack of a type of vitamin you are missing. However for me, it isnt the problem ne more. Now its my man who has the issue.

Christina - posted on 11/23/2009

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I can relate and I think it coule all be related to being so tired all the time! Between the daily stuff that comes with caring for a baby, regualr household things such as cooking and cleaning, and trying to find a spare moment for yourself its hard to find time or want it sometimes I think. As for getting it back.....maybe try having the baby out of the house for the night if possible, and plan a surprise date night. I know its kinda hard if you dont want it, but try for your mans sake as he may be going through alot of changes to since the arrival of your little one!

Best of luck!

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