Would you keep your mouth shut?

Amber - posted on 06/25/2009 ( 34 moms have responded )

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Hi! I'm a 24 year old mother of 2 beautiful kids. If you knew a young first-time mom who was practising potentially harmful food introductions to her baby, would you say something? I realize that this subject is a matter of opinion, because everybody has their own idea's about: when, what, and how much. But in my opinion, letting your 5 month old baby try everything that you are eating, and not waiting a week between new food introductions, could be deadly to your child. Am I wrong? I'm not saying that everything I do is 100% "by the book", but I feel that I keep my kids as safe and as healthy as I can. Just because 20 years ago, 5 month old babies were fed steak and potato's covered in butter and gravy, doesn't mean that it was ever safe! Research is done for a reason... What do you think?

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Stefanie - posted on 06/25/2009

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Actually, I was that mom that let her 5 month old eat whatever we were eating. (not the specific one the poster is referring to, but I did this). It actually is a way to introduce babies to food without using purees. It is called Baby Led Weaning. I didn't wait the normal 3 days (everywhere around here recommends only 3 days, not a whole week since a reaction would happen the second or third time the food is given normally and would happen within hours of it being given). I gave things back to back, but I don't have many food allergies in the family. An uncle and aunt of his had an intollerance to eggs and dairy as kids. I knew he was ok with dairy by the amount I consumed in my diet and breastfeeding, but I have held off on introducing eggs.

Check out http://babyledweaning.blogware.com/ for more info on feeding table food and not purees.

I wouldn't say anything to your friend. I had a couple friends who said something to me, but they had NO reason as to why it would kill my baby. It was just different than what they did and what their friends did, so I was weird and dumb for doing it. If you have a valid reason as to why this is dangerous, I would like to know. Everything I have read about the introduction of solids being dangerous pertains to allergic reactions, and if you must say something, say that your ped said to wait inbetween new foods. She may say what I did, that allergies are rare in her family, and she is watching for them, but not too stressed about it. Feeding table foods is NOT dangerous, what do you think people did before Gerber came around?

About steak and potatoes - those are GREAT for babies. They make steak in stage one purees, what is the big deal about kids getting it whole and not pureed? They can chew. DS LOVES filet mignon. Potatoes are great too, soft, easy to mush, fun to eat. I don't personally do butter and gravy because of the salt. I'll probably start real unsalted butter soon, the fats in it are good for babies' brains. I don't like gravy...so I'm sure that won't be introduced for a LONG time, but I wouldn't have a problem with it when he is closer to a year - he is only 8 months now.

As far as introducing before 6 months. I was going to wait until 7 months, but my son started grabbing my food, chewing, and swallowing around 5 months, by 6 months, he had the pincer grasp which is the final sign normally that a child is ready for solids. Between 5 and 6 months, he had very few solids, sometimes not every day, only really when I didn't want him in my plate. He mostly played with them. I'll always strive to wait until 7 months for introduction of solids, but if my child's needs point to them earlier I'll consider it. DS started wanting/trying to eat them about 2 or 3 weeks before I let him actually eat it. Her child may truly be one of the kids that can handle solids before 6 months. 6 months is the general guideline because MOST kids will be able to handle them by that age, which means some will be able before then and some after.

I just realized I wrote a book, sorry, I just was on the receiving end of some other parents "concerns" so I know exactly how it feels in this situation, I don't know if I can ever trust those women again because they made me feel like crap and I had researched my opinion and they had not. They had no reason for their comments.

Christina - posted on 06/29/2009

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Wow. I never even knew there was a wait three days rule. My kids ate whatever whenever they were ready for it (at my discretion). They have no food allergies and are in their ideal height/weight. You should not be so anal about this.

Ashley - posted on 06/28/2009

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my daughter started rice cearal at 8 weeks old and by 5 months she was eating everything. My dughter is fine and i am NOT a bad mother for doing so. Every mother/family has the choice to do things how they want and i must say if anyone said anything to me i would tell them to mind their own business.

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Lisa - posted on 06/29/2009

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After reading all of these there are alot of different opions on feeding children. I am a mother of 5 and my first was a premie who was born at 33 weeks. His dr told us to start putting rice cereal in his bottle at 2 months old because he had a problem with spitting up. At 4 months he was eating baby food and doing just fine. All the rest of my kids have started solids at 3-4 months old and have been fine and that has been with their dr's support. The only things that I have waited on are eggs and honey because those are the two things that the dr said that kids have the biggest reaction too. And of course the hard objects like nuts, hard candy, etc. After 5 kids I have figured out all kids are different whether its what they can eat, like to eat, or their milestones. What works for one doesn't always work for another. And as a mother you ultimately know your child better than anyone else and whats best for them. If you do say something to her do it nicely and if she becomes offended then let the subject drop.

Natasha - posted on 06/29/2009

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hi,
I never waited a week and my son is fine with no food allergys.
If you are really worried, perhaps when your with her and she is feeding her bub, say, i read somewhere that your not supposed to feed that to your baby until... dat di dat di da..

But ultimately its her choice, deadly or not, its her choice to feed her baby what, when and how.

Kate CP - posted on 06/29/2009

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Quoting Sabrina:

I TOTALLY agree!!!! Say something!!!! This mom will feel really bad if her child has a reaction and she won't know to what. Plus, there is a reason why certain foods are suposed to wait until a certain time in baby's life, such as health issues later in life. There's a great book called Super Baby Food that I've used. You might suggest it to your friend. That might open her eyes.


If food allergies aren't common in her family then the chances of her child having an allergic reaction to a food are slim. Plus if a child is going to have a reaction to a food it's usually immediate.



I will never understand why people feed rice cereal to babies. That stuff tastes awful and has no nutritional value to it. Yuck.

Michelle - posted on 06/29/2009

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well the baby eating table food isn't a big deal b aby's use their gums to mash food... personally i wouldn't do foods to close together but then again i have an 8 month old tah'ts allergic to cows milk and soy

Sabrina - posted on 06/28/2009

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I TOTALLY agree!!!! Say something!!!! This mom will feel really bad if her child has a reaction and she won't know to what. Plus, there is a reason why certain foods are suposed to wait until a certain time in baby's life, such as health issues later in life. There's a great book called Super Baby Food that I've used. You might suggest it to your friend. That might open her eyes.

Bessie - posted on 06/28/2009

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well really the way i see it is if it did not hurt you to eat those types of foods i dont think i will hurt your child ......... and we i do see some limits like stake and chips (hard stuff like that ) no child should eat at least not yet but stuff like mashed green beans and sweet potatos ya i do think thats fully fine i even think a few fries from mc-donalds (not a whole kids fries ) but one or 2 is fine with a meal and as long as they are very mushy. but really they should wait until the child is at least 6-8 months

Katy - posted on 06/28/2009

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Nope, I wouldn't say anything. It's not your concern, if her kid ends up puking, she'll learn not to feed them what she did, if not, then even better. Did you ever have someone tell you your doing something wrong with your kid, when you think your not.... yeah, well if you have then you would know how it feels, if you haven't I'll let you know if feels like crap. Each child is different, each parent has a different style, what works for you, may not for me. Butt out is pretty much what I'm saying. Unless your friend is hurting her child like beating it, or what have you, mind your own business.

TIFFANY - posted on 06/28/2009

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IF U FEEL U NEED TO SAY SOMETHING DO IT POLITLEY. ITS A HARD SUBJECT CAUSE MOTHERS R LIKE THIS IS MY CHILD LADELADA. BUT UR DOING IT RIGHT I ONLY WAITED A FEW DAYS BUT MY FRIEND SAID HEY MY SON IS EATING PEAS SHE SAID U SHOULD TRY SOME I WAS LIKE NO BUT SHE PUT SOME IN MY DAUGHTERS CEARAL AND BAM THE NEXT DAY SHE WAS BROKE OUT. I ALSO THINK ITS GOT TO DEAL WITH FOOD ALLERGIES IN THE FAMILY. GOOD LUCK

Courtney - posted on 06/28/2009

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As I sit here and read this I find it interesting that everyone has a different opinion. My oldest son was born in 2001 and his doctor started him on rice cereal at 2 months old!! By the time he was 5 months he was eating all table foods, and his ped was the one who suggested it!! Each child and their bodies are different. Feeding your child foods without waiting for a "grace period" to see if they have any reaction is not a matter of being a bad parent. My son is 7 1/2 and I never waited between foods (at the time I was a very young mother and no one told me I had to). My youngest just turned 1 and I followed the same advice I got for my first and he has never had any problems! So it just depends on each and every child, just like their personalities, they are all different!!!

Hailey - posted on 06/28/2009

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Wow there is a massive difference in health advice from the usa to australia..... Our kids only see a ped if something is wrong, we start solids at 4 months here, i was cooking meat and vegetables and pureeing them at 4 months. i did rice cereals for a weeks just to get her used to solids then she went to brekkie and meat and veg for dinner, however they do stipulate to wait till 6 months for egg custards and the like. It didn't hurt her she is almost 5 has no allergies and eats a large variety of food, more vegetables than some adults i know, she loves sea food. It hasn't harmed her and our doctor is more than pleased with her. Just watch some fish because of the mercury levels!

T_cjones108 - posted on 06/28/2009

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Quoting Amber:

Ok so I'm completely confused! Why am I told by every medical proffessional and by everything I read that: babies do not need solids untill after 6 months? (first grains, then meat, then fruits and vegetables) Have I been lied to for the past 5 years??? Because apparently I'm the only one who takes medical advise to heart.... Even when I told the health nurse that I was gonna start my son on rice cereal at 4 and a half months, she basically told me if I did it I was a bad parent.. and that it would seriously damage his digestive system.... So who's right and who's wrong???



babies dont need solids till 6months because they get everything they need from breastmilk/ or formuls! here in canada i was advised when i started giving my boy solids try one food for 3 days if no signs of allergies try a new food so on and so forth! and i was also told by the nutritioalist that i should start with meats first and fruit last! the reason for the fruit last is so that baby doest develop a taste for sweets! i did give my boy motts apples sause cups at 6.5months! also i was and still am worried about him choking :) lol and hes almost 1yr and has 6teeth now! with the meats i cook most my meats in the slowcooker/croke pot and the meats just fall apart and that makes it very hard for baby to choke! and with the pablum i didnt give my boy it till 6months because it could hurt the tummy but my sister and bff both gave their kids pablum early and they are all happy healthy smart kidz :D i think ur the one who knows baby best and if you weight the opptions and talk to the doc its ur decision in the end! :)

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Let me state this: my family, my business as long as it is not harming my child. Something like that is trivial. How would you feel if someone had been taught something different and told you how to handle your child out of nowhere? You'd be offended thinking that they thought they were better than you.

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actually my doctor told me with my first that its veggies then fruits because giving fruits first can cause children to only want things that are sweet in taste. That being said, as a mom of 5, my first two children I did everything by the book. I was a nervous nelly. With experience you notice things like every child is different. While one may be ready to do puree's at 3 months, some aren't ready until 6 months. I never did the one week thing except for my eldest son. Again, I'm a mother of 5 and all of them are alive and healthy. If someone would have told me that I'm doing something wrong with my children, quite personally, I would have said to butt out. My family, my business. I could understand if there are extenuating circumstances as in premmies or children with slower development. My eldest was crawling at almost 4 months. I figured if he's crawling he can surely eat real food, not formula and cereal.

Nicole - posted on 06/26/2009

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at some point you have to let your motherly instinct take over and know what is best for your child...following by-the-book is def not always "right"! I agree with some of the other moms, what did we do before Gerber? you obviously feel strongly about it however I think if i were that mother and you questioned my parenting i would be quite offended and angry. It is ultimately up to the parent when to introduce solids, my son has been on oatmeal cereal since he was 3 weeks, they said start him on rice, as a mother i knew my son had constipation issues so i chose to use oatmeal, you have to use your own good judgement. My boy is 5 months old now and doing great, started solids about a month ago, at 4 months. I say every parent has to make their own decisions, you may not agree, that's why you make the decision for your own child.

Rebekah - posted on 06/26/2009

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Quoting Amber:

Ok so I'm completely confused! Why am I told by every medical proffessional and by everything I read that: babies do not need solids untill after 6 months? (first grains, then meat, then fruits and vegetables) Have I been lied to for the past 5 years??? Because apparently I'm the only one who takes medical advise to heart.... Even when I told the health nurse that I was gonna start my son on rice cereal at 4 and a half months, she basically told me if I did it I was a bad parent.. and that it would seriously damage his digestive system.... So who's right and who's wrong???


Do what you feel is best.  I don't truly believe there is a true answer to this question of who is right and who is wrong.  I also don't believe that every bit of research is actually "factual".  I started my baby out early on solids and without the approval of a doctor.  But I've also got my 9 month old on whole milk.  His digestive system is fine and he's very healthy.  Personally, if you start your baby out on rice cereal (I did oatmeal first) and they get constipated or fussy, they're digestive system isn't ready yet.  Try again in a week or 2.

Rebekah - posted on 06/26/2009

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Personally, what I would do is, just ask the mom about feeding habits. Sometimes what we perceive isn't really how it is. My son started on solids at 2 months with bananas and cereal - he LOVED it! By the time he was 5 months, we were introducing everything to him - and I didn't wait a week in between. I still don't wait a week in between. He never had a reaction and we never had any problems - but food allergies also don't run in my family.

Charlie - posted on 06/26/2009

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we were given the medical go ahead before commencing feeding at 3 months , our child was developmentally ready and taking a keen interest in food as well as being always hungry and never satisfied , a GOOD medical professional knows that each person is differant Adult or Child and need to be treated accordingly , a good medical professional does not insinuate someone is a bad parent , 6 months are placed as a guideline and i am glad he started early it would have been cruel to starve my child because the books advise otherwise .of all the mothers and children i know (and i know a lot as i am a teacher ) majority of them have said they started their child early on solids and i have never know any of them to have seriously damaged digestive systems. its probably best if you do whats best for your child and let your friend do whats best for hers she may have her reasons for starting her baby early .

Kate CP - posted on 06/26/2009

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Quoting Amber:

Ok so I'm completely confused! Why am I told by every medical proffessional and by everything I read that: babies do not need solids untill after 6 months? (first grains, then meat, then fruits and vegetables) Have I been lied to for the past 5 years??? Because apparently I'm the only one who takes medical advise to heart.... Even when I told the health nurse that I was gonna start my son on rice cereal at 4 and a half months, she basically told me if I did it I was a bad parent.. and that it would seriously damage his digestive system.... So who's right and who's wrong???


Firstly, rice cereal always has been and always will be nutritionally bankrupt. Second, scientific data changes every year. One year it's good for you to eat tuna and the next year it'll kill you. You have to go with what is right for you and your kid. 

Abby - posted on 06/26/2009

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i was told to start my son on solids at 11 weeks(rice to begin with and slowly build up) for health reasons. he got his forst tooth at 9months old, but was on proper solids and managed to chew them. i was also told that when my son started taking an interest in our food to let him have a try! every child is different as is every mother!

if her little one is healthy and she has the right contact with dr let her be!

User - posted on 06/26/2009

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some peds have a different opinion. i was given the ok to give rice cereal at 3 1/2 months for various reasons, but that doesnt mean that your ped would recommend that. each mother does research and goes to the doctor and feels theu are doing their best for their child. if u must voice an opinion do it nicely and if they get upset and dont agree dont argue with them. You were the one who brought it up. I know I feel like im a good mother and my child is perfectly healthy...right on track with the charts. If someone voiced an unwanted opinion to me I would feel angry to be honest.

Amber - posted on 06/26/2009

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Ok so I'm completely confused! Why am I told by every medical proffessional and by everything I read that: babies do not need solids untill after 6 months? (first grains, then meat, then fruits and vegetables) Have I been lied to for the past 5 years??? Because apparently I'm the only one who takes medical advise to heart.... Even when I told the health nurse that I was gonna start my son on rice cereal at 4 and a half months, she basically told me if I did it I was a bad parent.. and that it would seriously damage his digestive system.... So who's right and who's wrong???

Stefanie - posted on 06/25/2009

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Amber - no need to worry about choking. Choking is actually more common puree fed babies. The gag reflex is only about half way back on a babies tongue instead of all the way by their throat like in adult mouths. This mean that gagging happens in babies WAY before it is a concern about choking. With solid table foods, babies often gag because the food rests halfway back on their tongues, but they are not at a risk for choking. They are learning how to move food around in their mouths. With pureed food, the food easily slips past this gag reflex and babies don't learn how to move food around in their mouths as easily and have more potential to choke when they are finally introduced to table foods. Also babies fed pureed foods may develop a preference to pureed foods which can be a pain when they are over 1 year old and need to eat regular foods. With the teeth issue, their gums are plenty tough enough to chew. DS was a great chewer the month before he got teeth, even now with 4 teeth, he doesn't use those to chew. Think about it, the teeth you use to chew are your molars, those don't come in until closer to two years old. Before then, babies use their gums.

Samantha Neil - posted on 06/25/2009

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i work in a nursing home and welll not all older ppls have teeth they seam to do fine with solid foods as well as babys can too, i think that when they are ready to eat they will and if ur worried then thats fine but befor u say shes doing it wrong ask her what is the reason shes doing it that way maybe look at it in a different way as well, and maybe then if u wanted to be nice and talk and say hey what about this way as there is many reasons ppls do things different ways well best of luck

Charlie - posted on 06/25/2009

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some mummies prefer to wait some dont it depends on the development of your child and you as parents everyone is differant.
but here is my account.
my babies first foods weren't pureed and at six months we received a picture guide from nutrition Australia off our midwife with pictures of foods we could give our children they included sandwiches , cut up fruit ( not pureed ) , whole lamb cutlets ) , mini pancakes and a whole lot more since my boy started food at around 3-4 months he was eating this food at 5 months and now enjoys eating what we have for dinner sausages , mash potato , spaggetti bol , tuna mornay and so on , of course its cut to his size , i am aware of allergies so he dosent get egg whites or nuts yet ,.
i wouldnt say anything if it was my friend its her child her choice , and if shes going to see paedeatrician then im sure they are aware of where the child is at food wise.

Kate CP - posted on 06/25/2009

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I wouldn't really say anything but then again my daughter's first taste of food was strawberry sherbet. I was eating it and she acted interested so I gave her some. She loved it and I was careful to watch her for any reaction. Most allergic reactions happen immediately. Plus, if she doesn't have a history of food allergies in her family then I really wouldn't stress about it.

Christa - posted on 06/25/2009

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I think you are ok to express your concerns, but if she's doesn't agree then you have to let it be.

Hilary - posted on 06/25/2009

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there is nothing wrong with table food once they are on solids...as long as u puree it it they have no teeth.but it is a must to go through all your fruits veggies and meats.it doesnt matter if there are no allergies in ur family . there could be with ur daughter or son.i would always be on the safe side then risk anything when it comes to your childs health .

Jamie - posted on 06/25/2009

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I think just cause your opinion differs doesnt mean they are doing anything wrong. And I think there is a difference between nicely saying something and being a witch about it. Personally I wouldnt say anything. Not my kid, not my choice, Im sure she tells her ped about it and if hes ok with it then I dont see the problem. And for the record I dont agree with it.

Amber - posted on 06/25/2009

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I'm more worried about choking. And when you feed your child 2 or more new foods in one day, and they do react how are you supposed to know which food caused it? I have researched reasons for feeling the way I do. And god-forbid, something horrible happened to her baby because she ignored "proper" guidlines, and I hadn't discussed my concerns with her, I would feel unbeleivably guilty.... you know... like I could have prevented it with expressing my opinion...

Bridget - posted on 06/25/2009

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If you do say something be nice about it. I do believe it is ok to try a variety of foods once you talk to your pediatrician about introducing solids. She may have talked to the Dr. and gotten the ok to do things the way she is doing them. Maybe just suggest she slow down a bit and give the little ones body time to adjust.

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