young moms

Brittany - posted on 04/21/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I am a young mother. I am 21, but I don't feel bad I met a mom the other day and her daughter is due in August and she is only 16. Being a mother at 21 and being a mother to a girl worries me that when my little girl is 16 that she might get pregnant. I have awhile to wait til there but it's still runs through my head... I ask myself what if she is like me and gets pregnant????

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Kate - posted on 04/21/2009

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I gave birth to my daughter 2 months after my 17th birthday. I too got dirty looks from older people and had people talking behind my back but I wouldn't change it for anything in the world! I'm the first to admit that I was young but the thought of terminating my pregnancy never crossed my mind, I knew from the start that I was destined to be this childs mother. My daughter is my best friend and her father and I are still together almost 10 years later and have had 4 boys since, one who was stillborn when I was just 20. I missed out on a lot (uni,travel,partying etc) but I never felt I was missing out, my whole world was and still is my children and I think its the best thing thats ever happened to me. Most of my friends followed the wrong path in their late teenage years, some got back on the straight and narrow and some didn't. I thank god every day for sending me my little girl because I could have headed down that same path. My mum was the most worried about me having a baby, but even now, she's the first to admit that it was meant to be and is astounded by how well I adapted to becoming a mother.

I do worry that my daughter will think it's ok to fall pregnant so young just because I did, but she understands that it's smarter to wait until she's older. I talk to her all of the time about it and she's never once mentioned that she'd like to have a child so young, she does talk about going to university and being a teacher but she's still young and doesn't 'like' boys yet.... All I can do is give her advice and hope that she makes the right choices. No matter what, she will always know that she can talk to me about absolutely everything and that I will always be there to love and support her no matter what.

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I am already thinking about the sex talks I am going to have with my daughter. She'll be 4 this year. I am going to have open communication with her, not the way my mom was with me. My mom never talked to me about anything concerning sex, alcohol and drugs - much less make-up, hair styles, or clothes.



But in all honesty, when my mom was young sex wasn't talked about as much. But these days its SOOOO much more important to talk about sex with your daughter. sex is everywhere! And if you don't talk to her, her friends will (when those wonderful teen years come) - and what do 16 year olds know about sex?? Some of them believe that if you have sex in a pool/hot tub you can't get pregnant!!



It's also VERY important to have the "bad touch" talk with your daughter as soon as she's old enough to understand (usually about 4 or 5). She needs to understand at an early age what a good touch and a bad touch is and what she needs to do if it ever happens.



Talk, talk, talk, talk and more talk. Make sure she understands it's nothing to be ashamed about and that you will never ever be upset with her if anything ever happens. That will be your best defense!!

Torie - posted on 04/21/2009

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I was 17 when I feel pregnant, and gave birth one month after my 18th birthday.
For lots of reasons, I never even thought of "getting rid" of my baby, even though I was only 17, wanting to go to university, see the world and also not with the father. (Although we have known eachother since we were 4.)
It was a very strange time indeed. I had strangers giving me dirty looks, looks of pity and looks of disgust as my young tummy swelled with the growth of my unborn child.
I believe everything happens for a reason, and I truely believe my beautiful son was sent to save me from what I was becoming. The life I was leading was not healthy and the things I was doing were very dangerous (nothing illegal, just immoral.) Whilst all my friends celebrated birthdays and exam results, I sat at home waiting to give birth, not knowing full what I had decided to do.

I can honestly say that I don't regret for one second having my son. He has brought me more joy and happiness than I ever though possible, and has made me a better person and someone I am proud to be. As I said, everything happens for a reason, and unfortuneatley, Baileys father decided to have nothing to do with him. Which was his loss. And in a weird way, changed my path of life, along which I met a wonderful man. He also had never thought of having children, I was never the maternal type before I had my son; but he changed so completely, practically over night after meeting me and my son. And now we are married. And life for us three is wonderful!

Bailey now has regular visits and contact with is biological father and other family, but also has an amazing step dad who is so dedicated and a naturally brilliant father, and Bailey couldn't be more loved.

I would urge any girl to avoid at all costs getting pregnant at such a tender age, but for me, it was my destiny to be Bailey's mother and to raise him into the outstanding, intelligent, beautiful, entertaining, loving, caring little five year old that I have today.

Prudence - posted on 04/21/2009

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i feel the same way I am 21 and have a five week old...all i can do is help my daughter grow up and make the best choices possible!

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