Not myself these days.

Melissa - posted on 02/01/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )




It seems like lately I have not felt like myself... how I used to be. This feeling just hit me a few months ago. I'm edgy, easily irritated with my husband and I swear I act bipolar some days and have completely lost my sex drive too.
Is there a way to get through this all?? How long does this feeling last.... I just want to feel like the old me again.


View replies by

Marcie - posted on 02/13/2009




Hi Ladies,

I am a PPD/OCD survivor.  I am also a coordinator for Postpartum Support International.  There are many things you can do to help yourself get better.  The first thing I tell moms who contact me is to be forgiving of yourself and let go of your supermom attitude.  You do not have to be perfect.  None of us are.  We all need help sometimes.  Also, if you're about to pull your hair out because the baby won't stop crying it's perfectly OK to put them in their crib and close the door for 15 minutes while you calm down.  They are in a safe place and will be just fine.  A lot of times when babies won't calm down it's because they are feeding off your anxiety.  I also tell moms to seek out professional help.  I think counselors who are trained in PPD issues are wonderful.  Be careful, though because if they don't know about PPD they may something really stupid like "get a haircut and you'll feel better."  OB's may or may not be helpful.  A lot of them will have referrals but a lot will just give you a prescription and never follow up.  Support groups are wonderful.  It's so nice to be able to talk about how crazy you feel and hear someone who looks sane and intellegent say they feel just as crazy.  Postpartum Support International has coordinators in every state who are armed with resources and information.  There is also a free weekly chat with an expert on Wednesdays.


(((hugs))) to you all.

You are not alone,

You are not to blame,

and with help you will get well.

Heather - posted on 02/10/2009




I feel the same way as well. Except the sex drive thing thats opposite for me. I can't seem to get my fiance to want to do anything. He works 7 to 7 at night be has been working that for quite some time. It seems like ever since we had our son he wants nothing to do with me. Of course we were aware that after having a child the relationship gets pushed back but there are moms out there with 4 or more kids who still find time. Im a stay at home mom. I'm bored outta my mind. I dont do ANYTHING. Seriously cleaning is my highlight of the day! There is plenty of time i think for... As far as the edgy and bi polar i feel the same way. My son will do something and It will seem like i just blown a head gasket I'll get so mad! I've never been this way before??? Everyone says its just a phase but its been about 8 months now and nothings changed. In fact my relationship has been on rocks since. :(

Jeanne - posted on 02/04/2009




I dont know how to get over it... I have been really feeling the same way and well except for the sex drive part... I need help with it as well...

Karri - posted on 02/02/2009




For me, it was really awful for about 4 1/2 months. I am getting better now, finally. I still have my bad days, but I don't fly off the handle quite as easily now. I feel like I finally know who I am again at least, and I don't have that feeling like I am watching myself and being horrified by my actions and lack of composure anymore.

As for ways through it, well, there are three that I can think of off the top of my head...

The first is to talk to your friends and your husband and your family, and see if they can help you in any way (this is what I did). They could help by taking over with the kids for at least an hour a day, preferably right about the time you most frequently feel like you are losing control (for me it was the late afternoon). Even just an hour a day to get away, go for a walk, take a shower, whatever, can be immensely helpful. Even if it isn't every day, but just a few times a week, or even once a week... really, take whatever help you can get!

The second is to seek out a support group in your area. They are hard to find in some areas (mine included), but if you can find a group, it really is helpful to go. I went to a group once, and it was very helpful because the people there really know what you are going through. The facilitators at the one I went to were both PPD survivors, and they introduced themselves to me as such. It seems silly, but just hearing somebody say, "I'm a PPD Survivor" was very reassuring... I knew then that I was not alone, and that people really do get through this!

The third possibility is to seek out medication (which, in retrospect, I probably should have done). Supposedly, there are meds that are safe to take even if you are nursing (I think Zoloft? but don't quote me...).

Whatever you decide to do, try to keep in mind that this too will pass. I know that when you are spiralling out of control it is hard to keep an eye on the big picture. It is very disorienting and it just seems like it will never end, but it will. Really. If you have already been feeling like this for a few months, you should be hitting the upswing out of it soon!

Good luck!

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