When Happiness, Love & Laughter disappears, i don't want my 9moth old son suffering from, is fathers influence

Natasha - posted on 08/27/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




I am currently 21 years old and my boyfriend is 29

So firstly my boyfriend and i met beginning last year, we were dating for 2 months, and wow, those 2 months were the best of my life, we were like the bestest of friends and got along so well.

After 2 months of dating i found out i was pregnant with his child, he denied it, and blamed me for cheating on him, and said if i don't have an abortion he will leave me and never speak to me again etc, so basically he was in denial because none of it was planned ... So i told him i WONT go for an abortion and that he is going to be a father wether he likes it or not.

So the first 7 months of my pregnancy i went through alone, he had no interest in going with to the dr. for the scans etc. Then it all changed... He went with his friend to the coast for some event that they were hosting, and this 'friend' was married and his wife was expecting aswell (she was 2 weeks ahead of me, they were so happy about her being preganant), so my boyfriend and his friend spent the whole of one night sitting outside on the balcony and talking about this, and my boyfriend just burst out in tears and told his friend that he is scared, he doesn't know what to do.

His friend gave him advise and told him he will help him where he can and that he doesn't have to worry.

When they came back from the coast my boyfriend was a changed man, he came with me to the dr., bought stuff for our baby etc. So then my son was born and we were the proudest that we've been our whole lives, we moved into a new house after my son was born, everything went well... until 3 months after my son was born, then everything started again.

We fight about mostly everything, if i make my sons bottle a certain way then he moans, if i ask him to get something by the shop on the way home then he moans, he has since we've been together not once bought me anything like presents, flowers, chocolate etc... For valentines day i got him flowers, made him a card and got him expensive chocolates, i got home and thought he would've arranged something nice or gotten me something.... NOTHING, i got home and he was playing some game on his playstation and acted like nothing has happened.

Money isn't a problem for us, cause there is more than enough money, so its not like we cant afford spoiling each other.

Since i had had my son which was today nearly 9 months ago, i honestly think we have had sex 3 times in the past 9 months, other than that its him always asking for bj's etc etc, but i never get anything out of it.

Sometimes when we argue or fight then he gets to the point where he tells me he will pay the lawyer off or the judge to get custody of our son and then he threatens to kick me out of our home.

Just the thought of him wanting to take my son away from me makes me so mad that i will kill someone.

Then he will get these random 'being nice moods' during the week and everything will be fine until his "friend" (the one that went away to the coast) and his wife and son come to our house, then his mood towards me changes in every way possible, i have to be the host, clean wherever anyone had made a mess, i have to feed the baby, make all the side dishes while he sits outside and drinks with his friend.

After a fight i just ask him can we not just try and MAKE IT WORK, for our sons sake, then all he says is 'i don't care anymore, I'm so used to fighting everyday, i don't care anymore)

i Honestly do not know what to do anymore. Please tell me you can give me advise because the way i feel now i feel he doesn't love me, care for me, want to be with, or even respect me.



Jaqi - posted on 09/15/2016




Unfortunately I'm in a situation very similar to yours. But mine has been going on for 8 years off an on. I have a 10 month old daughter with my bf an some days r great but most r horrible. We fight constantly about everything. An I'm not putting all the blame on him I know I can be a bitch at times but he tries to be very controlling, throws my past in my face, tho he was there to. Tells me know one else would ever be able to deal with me. An in the same breath tells me he would kill whoever tried to take me away. It gets very confusing. But he is an amazing father and that's the only thing that was keeping me around. We live in separate homes right now bc of the constant fighting an I have 2 other kids not by him. I went to his house the other day at 5 in the morning only to see a glimpse of a girl in his room bc he was shutting me off. I left pissed of course an he starts cussing me out. Calling me crazy saying know one was there. 2 days later now an he still won't admit it. He is becoming more violent with his words an scaring me a lil to be honest. I think I am finally done an just going to try an kill with kindness for the sake of our daughter. My advice to you is think about if u can deal with this for 8 years like me. It's not worth it. An ur child will start seeing things an the pattern will continue bc they think it's the norm. Love urself enough to leave. But stay strong don't back down and follow through with everything you say. It's hard. Make sure you keep all text an voice mails never write anything down he could use against u make sure u always meet to speak or drop off ur child in a public place or with a friend. It's scary how fast things can escalate from one extreme to another in relationships.

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