How would you deal with a "bully" friend?

Crystal - posted on 07/29/2009 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My children have befriended a kid (age 11) a few houses down from us. At first I liked him and his family, but as I got to know them--not so much. The parents teach their kids that if any one says anything bad to them to fight back. I have witnessed this child call my kids names (like butt head) but when my kids say it back to him, he will punch them in the face or privates, or kick them hard. He insists on playing "wrestling" games with my sons and they have come home crying many times. He doesn't listen to me when I tell him my rules to my house, and he has MANY times lied to his mother about things my kids said. His parents let him watch movies like Jackass and he tries to get my kids to play "jackass" games as well. I caught him and my older two sons (6 & 8) trying to push a wagon down stairs with my 3 year old in it. He is a bad influence on my kids, and I tell them to stay home and stay away from him. But, there is a lack of kids in my neighborhood, and they always seem to want to go and play with him. I'm not worried about keeping any friendships with the parents but, the mother is an over reactive nut and I don't want the trouble or drama from her.

Of course my kids are not angels, but they don't swear or play violent games. I don't allow them to watch anything other then PG or maybe PG-13 (if I watched it first and found no harm in it). And the only lies I hear from them are when they are denying writing on the walls.

But, this kid has had the cops called on him a few times for vandalism to another neighbors house/car/yard. I try to teach my kids to respect other people's property.

I don't like yelling at other people's kids, but I am stressed and at a breaking point. I try hard to take my kids out to a park to get away and I started to keep records of my kids injuries (caused by this kid)by taking pictures, but other then that how do I get my kids to find new kids to hang out with and leave this one alone?

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Bobbi - posted on 07/29/2009

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I home school both my boys (6 & 9) so I understand their need and desire to socialize. Keep doing what you are doing with taking them to the park. I would also encourage you joining the YMCA if there is one in close proximity, if you attend a church, look into different play groups with the other moms and their children, and when trying to keep the bully away from your home, just let him know they are no longer allowed to play with him. If and when the mother starts with her hysterics, just try to calmly let her know you have different ideas on how your children should be raised and would prefer not to expose yours to such rough behaviour. Be sure your husband is there to back you up if needed.

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