How can i get my kids to help me with housework without the fighting??

Leona - posted on 10/20/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )




Hi, I am an army wife and I really like to keep a clean house. But it gets tough sometimes when I have no help from the kids. My son is 6 and trys to through a fit when I ask him to help. My daughter is 3 and refuses to clean her own room. Well when I say refuses I mean she actually plays more than cleans. I dont feel that I ask too much of them. They have to keep their bedrooms clean and keep all their dirty clothes out of the bathroom and bathtub toys picked up. All dirty clothes from bedroom and bathroom must go to the laundry room and all toys have to be put away when not in use. Of course they have to collect their own belongings out of the living room and put away. And for the last thing they have to take their dishes to the kitchen sink when done eating. As a child I had much more to do than most children now days but i would never have thought to through a fit about it. If anyone can hepl I would greatly appriciate it.


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Tamera - posted on 01/20/2010




What I do with kids is make it into a game with rewards at the end. You can say sweetie who ever picks up the most toys win and then you say go. She will get very into this because kids love to be competitive

Amina - posted on 01/14/2010




Ahh yes.....the chores! My children are older but one of the best things that was introduced to me was based on a reward bucket. What I did was went out and bought a hanging jewelry bag. You can find them at Bed Bath for about $5.00. It is clear plastic and has little pockets on it, about 24. In each pocket I put jobs and on the back of the job I wrote how much it was worth.....$.25 - $1.00 depending on how big the job was. I put things like clean your room, pick up toys, load the dishes, pick up your dirty clothes, etc.

The 3 larger pockets on the bottom had their names on them and 1 with my name and they put the completed job in thier pocket then we tallied them at the end of the week. The catch was, if I had chores in mine I got to talley them and they had to split what I earned out of their earning. They really raced to get the better ones and tried to keep me from getting any. It was a way for them to earn some $$ and a way for me to get them to clean!

Try it and let me know what you think!

Mandy - posted on 10/22/2009




I am an army wife also and went through the same with my two boys. I would not reward for things that are their responsibility, I reward for extra jobs done. When my boys stopped cleaning their own toys, those things were taken away. I started with my youngest taking it away for a period of time, then giving them back if the rest of his things stayed cleaned up. With the oldest he was old enough and mature enough to understand and his things ( sometimes) were permanently taken away if he did not keep them cleaned up. They only lost so many things they liked before they realized they have to pick up after themselves. Not that I'm a mean mom my children get rewards and allowance for doing things that aren't there daily tasks, like picking up after the baby or putting the dogs toys back. This doesn't work with clothes and I still have a hard time with that. Why is it they would rather throw it on the floor than in the hamper not 3 feet away? If you find an answer for that one please let me know. Hope you find something that works for your family. Good luck and what ever you choose stay consistent even if it is the toy you just payed $20 for.

Heather - posted on 10/20/2009




My suggestion would be to make some reward charts for them. I know with my kids I used charts and stickers and after so many stickers they get a reward. Anything from special days or an ice cream treat just or whatever you want . They will work harder at helping if they know in the end it rewards them.

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