Not sure how to heal

Maggie - posted on 02/24/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )




I had a miscarriage February 19th, only my husband and three other close people even knew we were pregnant. I am not sure if we should tell our families about this to help have closure or if it will just make us go through all of the pain again. Any advice?


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Maria - posted on 08/28/2009




Hi its been a scary day all day today they couldn't find the heart beat the dr said the baby stopped growing about 1 week ago now iam soooooo sad iam not bleeding but i can't believe it all at the same time. I guess it was not meant to be, but why does it feel like its my fault. The worst part of it all is the waiting game....I have to bleed now when that is gonna happen I don't know, I see the dr on Tuesday again, if nothing happened by then I have to be scheduled to Have a D & C done, as you can see its late as I am typing this to you I can't sleep and I go to the bathroom all the time to see if things are happening, Iam scared, I can't stop crying, and don't know what to do with myself, and the more I talk about it the more I cry! I have no cramps so hard to believe the baby passed a week ago. I want to be alone right now, My husband is taking it pretty hard he not talking much and I caught him crying a few times. When does this get better! I still can't believe the baby is still inside me and I have not miscarried, why is that, can they be wrong the docs.....still hoping that they are wrong! I already have 3 wonderful do i cope with loss iam sooooooo lost!!!!!!

[deleted account]

Hi! I had a miscarriage on February 16, 07. When I was pregnant, I dreaded telling my family, but after I did I felt so much better. After I lost the baby I was wishing I hadn't told them. But as time went on, I was so glad that I did because they were all very supportive & they were there for them when I needed them to pick me up. I think it would be a good idea to tell them so they can be there for you & help you when times do get hard on you.

Vannessa - posted on 03/08/2009




Hi Maggie

Like you i had a miscarriage 11th Sept 08 and also my hubby and 4 others new no one else in our families were aware. I did eventually tell a few of my relatives but found it quite hard as you said i had to relive that grief again so just do what you feel will be best for you and your hubby. I lit a candle for my baby after it happened and i will do the same on the day he/she should have been due.

hope this helps!

Big (((hugs)))

Nessa x

Becky - posted on 03/01/2009




It is hard, my first miscarriage was a result of a rape and i told no one until i married my husband and that was about 10 years after it happened. I felt nothing when it happend and to be honest still feel nothing for that lose.

I have had several other miscarriages at different stages some my husband and i had kept to ourselves and the others we had shared. I guess it depends on who you want to tell. One of my miscarriages happened at my grandfathers funeral, so unfortuneatly everyone knew!

Healing is a long process, you have only just gone through this so recenetly, but sometimes you need you family more than you think. Have you talked to your husband about how he feels about telling anyone else?

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