Sad and Scared about the future

Annabutton - posted on 05/23/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )




Hi All,

First off I'd like to say sorry to everyone here who is experiencing what I am. Hugs to you all.

About three weeks ago I had my 12 week appointment. The night before the appointment I had brown spotting for the first time and my husband and I pretty much knew it was over. I had begun losing pregnancy symptoms around 9 weeks but I didn't want to freak out. I just thought my morning sickeness was subsiding. The ultrasound showed no movement and no HB, it was pretty obvious it was over. It had stopped growing at 8 weeks.

I stopped taking my prometrium and the next day around 4:20pm I began gushing. Literally gushing. By 9pm we called to check and make sure my blood loss was appropriate. I felt fine, a little dehydrated but fine. Doc said it's to be expected and we felt better. My husband and I decided to try and sleep even though I was still gushing. I woke up two hours later. As I was walking to the bathroom I was very dizzy and after using the restroom I ended up fainting. My husband said I fainted a few times and he immediately called the ambulance and off I went.

The ER doc. was horribly rough so that was fun. By 2 am my doctor was performing an emergency D & C on me (something I did not want). I really hoped to expel it naturally. Unfortunately it was for the best and I know that.

After the surgery I ended up passing out again in the hospital after going to the restroom. Later that morning I had a blood transfusion and felt much better.

I am sad for the loss but more terrified this surgery hurt my fertility. I am scared that my chance for #2 is over. Even though it's still too soon to tell I can't help my irrational thoughts and fears.

Luckily though we are in the process of moving and selling our house and it has really helped take my mind off of it. Unfortunately after my re-check appointment last Friday I have gone into a bit of depression.

Thanks for listening I really appreciate it. Hugs.


View replies by

Meredith - posted on 06/10/2012




Hi Jamie,

I am so sorry for your loss! Hugs to you during this difficult time. I had a very similar situation. I started spotting the weekend before my 13 week sonogram. My dr told me to wait until the appt on Mon where we saw no HB. I was sent home with pain meds but ended up gushing to the point I couldn't get out of the shower. My hubby drove me to the ER where the staff was horrible and my dr finally arrived and advised me that we should do the D &C becasue I was having issues doing it naturally. This happened a day before we closed on our first house in Dec 2007. In Feb I called the dr concerned that I still wasn't getting my period. When I went in to see him I learned that I was pregnant again. My son will be 4 this year :) It was a scary process because it all happened so quicky and I was emotionally prepared but he is perfectly healthy and worth all the worrying. The depression is a hard thing...I still have some sad days...He would have celebrated his birthday this month :( Good Luck with the move and I hope to hear news about#2 soon! Hugs, Meredith

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