Choosing Family or Friends!!!

Bobbi - posted on 09/27/2010 ( 10 moms have responded )




Hi I'am Bobbi, been married 10 years and 2 Daughters with one on the way... So far up until a few months ago, me and my husband's family got along Great and still do except for his Sister... She has caused many ill feelings to surface since her wedding was called off...

It started with she was going to have a small Wedding and asked me to be her 'MATRON OF HONOR'... but her Fiance's Mother butted in and insisted on a BIG Wedding... So my 2 Daughter's were invited into the Wedding... All this now costing me over $800. dollars...

Then she begged me and Heather (whom is the friend I'am going to discuss) to throw her a Wedding Shower even though this would have been her 2nd Marriage... So We Did???

So doing so me and Heather became Good Friends and Heather and My Sister-In-Law were Best Friends... Up until a couple of days after the shower, her Fiance left her and called off the Wedding which his Mother was paying for... She just became 'BRIDEZILLA' and everyone could see it even the women at the dress shop asked if she was going Crazy? It would take way too long to even begin to tell you how aweful she was acting through all of this...

Needless to say, Heather stopped talking to her because of their history of Shawna (sister-in-law) using her and only going to her if she needed something... A one way street with her, very selfish, self centered and everything always has to be about her...

So they were no longer friends and I really got close to Heather and didn't want to lose that friendship but one day Shawna calls me to give me an ultimatum, either her or Heather???

We really argued back and forth for weeks... I finally told her that I'am a grown woman and noone is going to give me an ultimatum... And I was still going to be friend's with Heather and that whatever was going on between the two of them was between them two not me... I met her through this whole Wedding Planning going on and I don't want to lose her as a friend...

Well after being upset myself of all the money I was out and plus of the Wedding My Husband and I were unable to renew our VOWS for our '10 YEAR ANNIVERSARY' because of this Wedding...

They got back together for a short time after that and thought everyone should accept him back but they still were not going to get married, they were secretly planning to go to Gatlinburg to get married...

Such a long story I'am sorry but was I wrong for keeping Heather as my friend, which we now say we are 'BEST FRIENDS'... And she is an awesome person that has done alot for me and has been there for me no matter what but can't deal with Shawna's Drama anymore... I can't blame her after now really finding out how she really is...

Did I do the right thing???


Jessica - posted on 10/13/2010




No one has the right to ask you to choose. A true friend is better than most family anyway!!

Barb - posted on 10/12/2010




I was always told to choose the one who doesn't make you choose.

I believe you were completely correct when you put the ownership of the friendship between her and Heather on her.

Sarah - posted on 10/11/2010




No way would I give up a friend because my SIL was jealous of our friendship! You absolutely made the right decision!! I'm not much for drama, so it would be easy for me to say "see ya" to BRIDEZILLA!! I'm sure after some time passes, she won't even care that you're friends with Heather.

Ashley - posted on 09/28/2010




Believe it or not I know exactly what you went through, except for the money part. My husband and I have been married for almost a year now, but we have been together for about 6. We met through my cousin and she was okay with it at first but she had feelings for my husband that he did not have in return for her, so she got jealous and tried to brake us up multiple times. My husband and I have two beautiful boys together and after my first son was born she was excited but we began to have problems again and she told me she was my cousin and would be there for me even when he wasnt and told me that either i start spending more time with her or i need to leave him because i hadnt been speaking to many of my friends. I told her that it wouldnt happen and we didnt talk for about 7 months after that. So I sorta know how you feel but you definately did the right thing!


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Sal - posted on 10/13/2010




a true friend wouldn't ask you to chose what was she are a grown woman not a teenager making a new bestie at school, your sil is silly making an ultimatum, when she grows up be friends with both these ladies who you clearly feel for..

Bobbi - posted on 10/12/2010




I wanted to Thank everyone for all of your comments to my situation... You all were extremely helpful and encouraging to know that I made the right choice by standing up for myself... Thanks again everyone for all your help!!!

Schyla - posted on 09/27/2010




When a grown women behaves like a child she should be treated as such. I'm sorry that you lost all that money what a waste! I say you have to make you happy. way to go for standing up for yourself.

Carolee - posted on 09/27/2010




Personally, if anyone were to give me an ultimatum like that, they had better be prepared to cut ties. I don't deal with people's hissy fits. Your SIL was wrong in SO many ways IMO.

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