very self concious about body any ideas?

Leah - posted on 01/27/2011 ( 15 moms have responded )




ive always been self concious as a teenager which is normal i never let it get to me.. but once i had my son it seems to be taking over my life i put on alot of wieght and got stretch marks alot of them my boobs are completely cover in them my breast are way bigger they sag.. i was asked by husband to give him a strip show i have always wanted to do for him to spice things up a bit but because im so self concious i cant do it.. i feel like im never going to ever feel better and stop feeling so down myself for the way my body looks?
is anyone else out there who feels the same or has gone through it any ideas on how to get more confidence in myself?


Jennifer - posted on 01/27/2011




Leah, that's a tough one because the only way you'll end up being comfortable with yourself is when it finally dawns on you that your hubby is asking YOU for a strip show and not that perfect little number at the skin bar, lol! I'm sure you're gorgeous regardless and you might feel more comfortable dancing for yourself in the mirror before committing to dancing in front of him, a dimmed room might also ease the tension and hide those stretch marks, lol and just remember he loves you and your body no matter what especially if he's making requests, LMBO! Good luck!

Ellie Richardson - posted on 08/20/2012




You may be your toughest critic. As most of us women are. Your husband love you and wants a strip tease from you. When u get your hands on a few extra dollars get a push up bra. A sexy little get up on and strut your stuff. Even the super models have issues with their bodies. Its a woman thing. Your not alone in this. I got a ton of stretch marks on my belly, c-sections, cellulite etc etc. Alot of the ladies gave you some really great advice. If it bothers you alot I think the excercising will definetly boost your esteem cause then you know your giving it your all. God bless and good luck ;).

Maggie - posted on 12/28/2011




I always felt better when I was doing something to look better. I started exercising and my confidence is up after losing about 20 pounds. I also make sure I'm doing things for myself like making sure my legs stay shaved (not an easy task with two kids!!). Also, your husband thinks you're beautiful and sexy, even if you don't. He wouldn't have asked for the strip if he didn't think so.

Kelly - posted on 09/06/2011




My husband looked up at me from the paper yesterday and said the following "That Posh Spice got back to her original bodyweight 2 months after giving birth." My response " When you earn over a million a year and we can afford a personal trainer, a nanny and a nutritionist, I promise you, Ill get back to the weight I was before I had kids." That shut him up. About your body issues, I find candlelight to be flattering. It hides stretch marks. Also some sexy nighties can hide the more embarracing bits (like that awful saggy tummy and breasts), and show off your more favorite bits (for me, ankles lol). Or, save up as much money as you can (like I am) for surgery. There are always options.

April - posted on 04/12/2011




I know that feeling! I felt that way right after i gave birth to my second. I had put on a lot of weight and the stretch marks, flabby tummy gahhh! LOL but i got sick and tired of hearing myself complain to my husband, accusing him of not being attracted to me blah blah blah in short having my very own pity party.

I started taking care of myself. I did things that made me feel beautiful. In turn, i lost all my pregnancy weight. I'm back to my perfect weight and yeah maybe i still have stretch marks and my tummy's not as perfectly flat as it was but i'm happy. I feel beautiful.

My advice is for you to do things that you love and to try not to dwell to much on things that you can't help about your body anymore. In the end you'll be happier :)


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Ginger - posted on 02/09/2011




I am 40 with three boys & feel the same way. I found out I had breast cancer when I was pregnant w/ my third. I had a mastectomy and chemo therapy while I was pregnant, lost all my hair, eyelashes, eyebrows and even a toenail. I beat the cancer & am healthy now but my self-esteem is in the toilet. I'm 40, have one boob, tons of scars, vericose veins, never lost the baby weight and have ugly-short-curly-chemo hair. (my profile picture was my shorter transition cut prior to starting chemo) I wish I had appreciated the body I used to have. I try to remind myself that any hair is way better than being bald, but I miss my long blonde locks so bad. I feel like the old me is now shattered. I wish I had advice for you; I could tell you all the right things, but I don't follow my own advice on this subject. Just know you aren't alone & it could always be worse, so try to appreciate what you do have.

Candi - posted on 02/08/2011




Look for a local pole dancing place. It will totally rework and rebuild your entire body while teaching you how to dance on a pole. I haven't done it yet b/c its kind of pricey, but I have friends who do it and they love it. Once you learn to work your body and feel good about yourself, you will overlook little flaws and just love the way you look and feel.

Wendy - posted on 02/04/2011




Eh, there are ways to get a RISE out of your hubby and feel totally sexy when doing a strip tease. I've done this so many times for my man I should open my own club. I'm no Patricia Morrison, but I play one on TV! LOL. Leah, get yourself a nice corset, some extremely high pumps, a cane or some sort of prop to direct his eyes with, a top-hat, some garters and some body paint. Camp it up and use your imagination. Wear wigs, body can find ways of covering the spots you're not confident about whilst accentuating the important stuff. :)

Try writing his name in glow in the dark body paint on your butt or up the side of your legs, like “Joe’s girl” leave that as the grand finale. You can do a lot with just a trip to the Spencer’s gifts lighting section and costume shops. Get a strobe light, and choose colors that make your skin look softer. If you saw some of the blotchy stripper hags our guys enjoy watching, during the day, you would see as many flaws as the rest of us. It’s all makeup and lighting. Oh yeah – put some light foundation on your stretch marks, and then focus the lights appropriately. Practice makes perfect! LOL If there is enough “stuff” to keep him surprised, titillated and focused, you’ll feel GREAT about yourself and he will see you in an amazing new light.

Send me a private message if you want tips on how to break out of your modesty just enough to make you and your hub feel great. It’s what I do…

Allie - posted on 02/03/2011




I went through a similar issue just recently, and basically I try and work out three times a week (walking a few miles mainly) and that helps boost my self-esteem... My husband has never had complaints and thinks that I am even hotter/sexier/prettier now with my extra 10lbs and stretchmarks than when we met (he's nice, but a liar lol)... I have a bunch of stretch marks that will never go away, and I've come to terms with them.. but we do 'mood lighting' lol, not lights off, but we'll turn off the overhead light and do a few candles and lamps... I also bought some fun (classic, not dirty) negligee that lifts the girls up to make me feel a little bit better, because I breastfed and I feel like they completely deflated and then some once I stopped lol.

Have fun!!!! ; )

Heidi - posted on 02/03/2011




I think all women go thru something like this after having a baby. I am fortunate, as I don't have stretch marks .. but I do have an ugly scar from the c-section. My husband thinks I am super sexy, but I don't feel it. I feel that the scar makes me ugly ... I am working on it and slowly becoming more comfortable with myself again. I found the Only way this can happen (for me), is to put myself in uncomfortable situations. being naked in front of my husband with the lights on, having him look at my scar etc. it gets easier. I say - Give your husband the stripshow he wants. He obviously thinks you are one sexy mama!!!

Katherine - posted on 02/03/2011




hey Ambyr Throne,
I am 29 going to be 30 this month. I am pregnant with my 3rd and I have strech marks. I dont care what people think about them and I dont care about my strech marks.I am not embarrassed by them at all because I got them while being pregnant with my children. I love my kids and would not change that for anything. Given youdont bounce right back into your clothes after having kids but again you are a mother. I have am lucky to be able to get into my old clothes but i do stay active. not everyone is lucky in that area and who cares. everyone is different. be proud of those strech marks.

Katherine - posted on 02/03/2011




i am the same way, it doesnt go away. it doesnt matter who it is that tells me i am beautiful and blah blah blah. i have an issue with my body, i am well oregnant but always stayed skinny. never felt skinny. I like to work out at home go for walks get my hair done my nails done by my kids. by new clothes. sometimes it helps

Rica - posted on 02/03/2011




Hello Leah,

I'm a proud mother of two, both by C-section. I had put on a lot of weight and I feel that my body is due for a overhaul. husband is my biggest fan so he encourages me to be the me I want to be. If he is asking you for a strip show surprise him with the best show that you can ever put on. He may inturn give you one as well. If your not happy with the weight that you have put on by baby then get the wii or the new xbox and work it out at home. This way you are in control of what your doing with your body and your not worried about your image at the gym. I hope this helps...In the end your family will cheer you on to your goals.

Ambyr - posted on 01/27/2011




I completely feel the same. I had two kids within a yr of eachother and my body doesnt look that good now. I dont have a ton of stretch marks but I do have them. My weight is a huge issue with me. Sometimes I will be in a bad mood all day because I put a shirt on or a pair of jeans and I just dont feel good in them.I do try to get in style clothes that dress my weight properly and look good to make myself feel good but not having that much money sometimes I have to sqeeze myself into some of my old clothes. I am only 19 and I guess I kinda just expected my body to bounce back and it certainly did not!!! My second baby stretched my belly out a little too far so I know for a fact I wont ever get it back 100% but I would like it if I could get it close. I've never been asked to really do a strip tease but my bf would sometimes like some sexy outfits and I wont go shopping for them because I dont look good in them. I think as long as your husband is still happy with you and still finds you attractive then I would try not to worry about it too much. Yes easier said then done because I am still trying to come to terms with it but as long as he's supportive then try to still feel good about yourself. ;)

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