11 weeks pregnant and missing my deceased mom

Alexxis_torres2003 - posted on 01/04/2018 ( 1 mom has responded )




I lost my mom in May 2016. I am now 11 weeks pregnant and it has not been an easy 11 weeks. Morning sickness has me bed ridden and all the things I'm used to doing I have no energy or interest in doing. I am feeling very emotional and depressed today. I am thinking I'm feeling very lonely and isolated as I just have my partner who is at work most of the day while I feel sick, eat, throw up, sleep, eat and sleep (that's typically how my day goes). I just don't know if it's normal to feel Depressed? Sad? Scared? I want to be grateful that I have an amazing supportive partner who is working for the both of us essentially, but just thinking about that makes me want to cry as well!


Christine - posted on 01/23/2018




I am so sorry you are going through all this hardship for a time we hope will be the best ever! I have had two months of bed rest. At the time, I had my family but they were busy. My mom and I never really had a really close relationship. It didn’t matter how often I talked to my grandma, my confidant, I still felt really lonely. I found myself talking more about how I felt which over the years has taught me just makes the you feel worse. I had my grandma pick me up, under doctor’s ok, for a couple wheel chair rides in the mall. The whole experience was really hard, at the time. I have also lost my grandma to Alzheimer and my dad to cancer 10 years ago. The two people who were rocks of support in my life. 10 years later I still really miss them from time to time, especially when I carried my last child. Or, when I don’t have a family around to watch my two kids left at home. Or, those times life just gets hard. But, I can look back now and say that this part of the journey has been rich full of opportunities to see the strength I have inside I never knew I had. It has also allowed me to own my hard times and find ways to grow from them rather than rely on someone to carry my emotions. It’s normal to have moments of sadness, especially when you find yourself in uncontrollable times of trial. However, I’d talk to your doctor and make sure it’s not touching on depression. I am so happy for you to have a supportive partner that allows you to focus this time on yours and the baby’s health! What a gift! All the feelings you mention are absolutely normal to experience! I was scared with every one of my kids. I had my first one at 26 weeks, my second I was in a car accident that put me into the hospital at 26 weeks and back home for 2 months of bed rest so I could have her 1 month early and the Last was a journey of perseverance all its own with a win of no bed rest and only a month early. Pregnancy is a miracle full of things we don’t control and unknowns. It’s a faith walk to that joyous day we get to embrace that bundle of love in our arms.
Have you tried sipping on ginger tea made from simmering fresh grated ginger in filtered water, add raw honey if ok to have? Have you looked into some essential oils? I know you have to be careful for 2nd/3rd trimester. Maybe ask your doctor about using peppermint essential oil with a carrier oil applied for nausea? Do the best you can to keep a schedule, even if in bed, to eat, take a bath or shower, and get 7-9 hours of sleep a night. Plus, have a nap scheduled in to rest and rejuvenate! Are you eating a healthy whole food diet full of rainbow colors and lots of deep greens? A diet in sugar and simple carbs will hijack your already hormonal state and help depression set in. I have found to do things that keep my mind off the challenges. Read some books you have been meaning to get to. How about what to expect on parenting? Any books you want to read for marriage, self, or pleasure? What about keeping a journal of your blessings each day? I know that can feel hard feeling sick and stuck in bed! I just had a couple days in bed and it grows weary! But, if sleep is getting to be too much can we do small things to lift our mood? Did the sunshine sneak in the window today? Did your partner come home and do something loving? Did someone respond in encouragement to your today? Maybe a friend picked up the phone and said hi? I find that when we practice acknowledging our blessings and gratitude life feels a whole lot better. Are feelings feel powerful and strong but they aren’t the rulers! We are the rulers! We dictate how our emotions get to affect us and how they feel by doing things every day to act the way we want to feel. It seems backwards but it’s true science. Maybe you like to draw pictures? Do a craft? Finding something every day to look forward to and hope for really helps the time go by. We feel more empowered and happier along the journey of trial too. Hang in there! It will get better and at the end of all these hard days you will be blessed with a miracle that is part of you! Please do talk to your doctor to ensure you haven’t touched on depression. Hormones do a lot of things and sometimes we just need a little help to make us feel a lot better.

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