How do you go on?

Angie - posted on 05/23/2011 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I am the mother of a 16 month old little boy and I lost my mom last wednesday. She died suddenly and unexpectedly. My mom was my best friend, we were so close and she loved my son so much. She was only 63 and she will never get to see her grandson grow up and he will never know his grandma. I saw her the day before she died and I had no idea what was going to happen, I mean how DO you know? I just feel so helpless and weak, I am still a good mother to my son, but sometimes I just feel like I want to fall apart and crawl into a ball under the covers. I cry when I hold my son, because I think that my son got so jipped in life. I lost my dad when I was 8 and I was so young I didn't understand, and now my mom is gone too. My husband has his mom but she lives in another state so our son never sees her. I do have a great supportive family, my two sisters and my husband. My stepdad is a wreck cause my mom did everything for him and sometimes I feel like she did so much for me and my son that I don't know how to deal. If someone could please give me some insight on how I can move on and feel better I would so appreciate it.

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Kim - posted on 05/26/2011

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My mom died when my daughter was 3 months old. She needed a transplant and only got to see her granddaughter 1 time because she was in the ICU and to weak to speak or hold her. I was a brand new mom. My best friend lost her brother to suicide and she told me "welcome to the club you never wanted to join" someone who has lost an immediate family member. It's now been almost 5 years. The thing that has given me the most comfort since then has been the fact that I adored my mom. I was her only child and best friend. She was the best mom for me that I could ever have. She loved being a mom so much that I always knew when I became a mom that I wanted my children to feel so much love like my mom made me feel. And most of my parenting comes from all the principles she taught me. But really thinking about it and how I made it through was that I knew I had a solid foundation of memories. How she lived out her role as a mom, how I always knew how happy she was to be MY mom. I knew I had all the tools to be a mom to my kids from growing up with her. As well in my faith beliefs I did not believe it was goodbye forever, just a little while. Also for myself I know that as time goes by different things will trigger memories. Allow yourself to grieve when you need to grieve. If you feel it is too much for you to grieve on your own go and speak to a therapist if you want. Or find a face to face support group, or keep posting here, or all of the above. I am a very private person so I would play with my daughter and then go take a shower and let myself have a really great cry, mad, session. Fortunately as well she was also 3 months old and didn't care if I cried in front of her. Keeping a journal also helped so I could go back and read my thoughts. I hope this helps. We are all here for you to vent your thoughts any time =)

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