my mother is emotionally unavailable so I have no support or guidance from her


Bobbie - posted on 09/19/2012




Sadly my mother was the same way. I found life more difficult when I was around her as a matter of fact. The good news is that it takes just one person to show you a little affection and guidance to feel supported.

As a young adult I was a waitress. There was a regular customer that came in. A woman that was around my mother's age. She always had a smile on her face, which I have learned to pattern after. She told me, "honey, when you smile people can't help themselves but to smile back at you. That will always feel good and make you feel like that little effort was well worth it".

She took very little of her time to share with me but her impact was great. She touched my life so much in that short period of time. She touched my back and gave me a little shoulder rub when I told her I wasn't feeling well. She said that I should go home immediately, make some hot tea and wrap up in a blanket. Her words felt like a warm blanket to me. Her touch and kind words were something I would have never received from my self centered mother.

I also had little clips of guidance by other women in my life that gave me that support, comfort, or "you can do it" speech that lifted me up.

We don't always know how someone in our lives can impact us so positively. I have gotten all my guidance, strength and support by others in my life. Though I never felt any warmth, kindness or concern at home I have found it all my life. Sometimes even a stranger can make a big difference as well.

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