what do I do when my daughter hates my boyfriend?

Wanda - posted on 04/19/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )




I have been dating the same guy since my daughter was 2; he lives quite a distance so we don't see each other often. My daughter used to adore him but now she can't stand him. Something happened last year during the weekend of her 13th birthday. I'm about to celebrate my 50th and would love to have him here for it but she doesn't want him to stay in the same house as her. I'm really at my wits end because I don't want her to come between us. Does any one have any advice for me?


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Lynn - posted on 10/01/2012




Was your boyfriend present the weekend of your daughter's 13th birthday? If he was, I would suggest talking with your daughter and getting to the bottom of whatever happened with her or to her that weekend. A swift and sudden change in a teenage girl's feelings toward her mom's boyfriend is worrisome. If he was not present, I would suggest getting to the bottom of whatever happened - if you aren't already aware.

I get that you wouldn't want anything to come between you and your boyfriend, but don't let anything come between you and your daughter either. I notice that this was posted in 2010, which is quite a long time ago, but I sincerely hope you were able to get to the bottom of things and that your daughter is fine.

Leslie - posted on 08/17/2010




Respectfully, with a teen age daughter in the house you have no business having a strange man in the house. She is coming into womanhood. Apparently, something did happen that weekend. Young girls do no have enough life experience to handle the oft times awkwardness of male/female relationships. Besides, she is being sexualized by your behavior . I say this with the greatest respect and love. I am 52 and since my divorce nine years ago I have never allowed a man into my home. My home is my children's home. They have enough to deal with without having to see some guy hanging on the couch in his underwear.

Suszanne - posted on 07/22/2010




It sounds like something may have happened between your daughter and your boyfriend. Sit down with her and talk with her. Let her know that she is important, then listen.

Once you have all the information, you can act, but until then, don't invite him to stay at the house.

Christine - posted on 04/20/2010




Maybe something awkward happened since she is at that age where they become aware of boy/girl stuff. Meaning she realized what a boyfriend means. I would sit her down and ask her...say no matter what she says you will not tell anyone else. My daughters and I will sit on the same couch, but close our eyes esp if it is awkward!!! Best of Luck!

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