Am i being taken advantage of or overreacting??

Nicki - posted on 01/13/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )




I have been helping out a friend of a friend for about 2 months now. She hasn't worked in over 2 years and recently went back to work so they wanted a sitter they could trust and that would come to their house so they could get their two girls; 3.5 yrs and 18 months; used to being without mommy and get to be in the comfort of their own home instead of daycare. So I was recommended for the job and I was unemployed and at home with 2 kiddos all the time and could use the extra money. They offered $100 a week and that the eldest girl would be at school mon-thurs that i would have to put her on the bus at 8am and get her off of the bus at 3:30pm. so I accepted cuz i could use the money.

Well now i am feeling taken advantage of. It was only supposed to be for 8 hrs a day and turned into 11-12hr days. I was like ok i can deal with this i have nothing better to do and i could use the money, though not much, still something! So i am driving about 15-20mins to get to their home every morning and must be there at 6:15am. I would arrive and both girls would be clean and ready for the day. About 3 wks ago the mother asked me if i would get the eldest girl up and showered and dressed for school because she had a late night and wanted her to be well rested for her day at school, so of course i said yes that i didn't mind.

Well now it's like she expects me to do it, i have been getting there and both girls are in no clothes the youngest in her diaper and the eldest not even in panties!! Then after she leaves for work she txts me and says "the girls haven't had baths sorry" and now she doesn't even tell me I can just see that they need a bath and if i don't do it she txts me in the evening when i am home and says "did u not give the girls a bath?". On top of all this her husband is kind of a jerk, he blames my kids for anything that may happen and they just seem to be acting really smug. I feel like i am walking on egg shells.

While i am there i make sure to keep things neat and clean..i do our dishes, vaccum and even windex the windows and tv from little fingers! I know that i am doin them a huge favor and it just feels like they ask me to do something new everyday down to asking if i will look up addresses on the computer and txt them to her and i am such a nice, easy-going person that it's hard for me to say no!

So now all i think about is wanting to quit cuz it's stressing me out!
Am i overreacting? give me some pointers on what to do please??
Thank you for your time!!!


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Mandy - posted on 01/18/2010




the original deal seemed doable, but they are clearly trying to see how much they can get away with and taking advantage of you. Come up with a written document listing what you will do, when and for how much; make it something you can live with. If they don't like it, they will be paying much more for someone else, so you aren't being unfair at all. You might be able to find another arrangement somewhere else that would work better for you, still get some money, but less stress. Sometimes it's not a very good idea to work for close friends or family

Catrina - posted on 01/14/2010




TELL THEM!!!! you have your own kiddos to take care of, you cant raise everyones kids. tell them that they are asking too much. there is no reason they cant bath their kids, tell them to do it at night before they go to bed instead of rushing to get it done in the morning. you have to be firm, it sounds like if you dont speak up that they are going to continue to walk all over you. you are definitly not over reacting.

Theresa - posted on 01/14/2010




I think you are being much nicer than I would be here.

First of all lets take a step back and look at this situation, I mean have you read this back to yourself?! You are basically doing them a favor for very little money, almost nothing in fact.

When you say that you have these kids for 11-12 hours a day is that because this is the time they are working or is that plus some time for them to go and do what they want to? Because if they are working that many hours they can afford to give you more money for your troubles. I mean honestly, they are taking the total mick! Do you know I pay £700 a month for my daycare, that is from 8.00am to 4.00pm Mon- Fri.

How is this affecting your own kids? You don't mention how old they are but having to be up and at another house for 6.15am? I imagine that is not a popular idea :) The fact that the mother now wants you to wash the kids too is kinda ridiculous.. I mean come on, if they want a nanny then let them hire one and pay the proper price for it too!

I believe your problem here is like me you are too soft. I was doing shifts at work at 36 weeks pregnant that I really shouldn't have been (7.00am to 10.30pm at night sometimes) all because I couldn't say no. Trust me, you do not need that money that much, and the fact that they have the cheek to say ANYTHING about your kids doing ANYTHING around their house is ridiculous. If you are there all day looking after their ids for a pittance the least they can do is let you use their home as if it is your own.

I wouldn't stand for that to be honest, you don't need the extra cash that much. I would get out while you can. If it is something you want to consider doing, because childminding is a good career option for moms with kids already, then please get some advice about it first, it's so not right what they are doing to you. It really isn't.

Kristy - posted on 01/14/2010




Your not overreacting. You need to say No. You need to let them both know that you are a sitter not a maid or a nanny. You still have you own children to pay attention to.

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