How can I get my three year old to stop her temper tantrums? Time outs aren't working!?

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Jessica - posted on 06/04/2009

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My daughter just turned one is already having temper tantrums. I let her have them. I will look at her after a few moments and ask her if she is finished. If she continues to have them I simply tell her that mommy is going to go do something else while she has her tantrum and that she is welcomed to come play with mommy when is finished. With in seconds she is up off the ground and back to her smiling playfull self.

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Ellynne - posted on 06/09/2009

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Thank you ladies so much, I will absolutley look into the "Strong Willed Child" book because that is what I have got=-)
She is pretty good out of the house, most of her tantrums have to do with her clothes! (3 going on 13)

Rachelle - posted on 06/05/2009

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Quoting Sharon:

Someone once told me, they threw a glass of cold tap water on their son's face. NEVER did he have any more tantrums. He was so shocked, he never forgot!!


I would not try this method! What you do to them they will do to you or others. That is mean and doesn't show respect.

Rachelle - posted on 06/05/2009

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You must stay calm! If you get upset it will make it worse! Try to ignore it and walk into the other room. Don't give them any attention! If you want to have fun with it...lay on the floor and throw one of your own fits. They give you the weirdest looks and they may laugh too. A time out is not letting them cry in time out. They have to first calm them self while in time out. If you don't you set a timer. Tell them if you are not done crying after 3 minutes or when the timer goes off the time starts over. If they don't stop reset the timer until they are calm for the same amount of time they are in age. (5 years 5 min) of quiet. Do not put up with tantrums! Try this go to a store with them on a day that you don't have anything to do.Tell them you are going in to look for something set the rules. No tantrums or we will leave. Walk around until they start the tantrum and if they wont stop take them home. If you then go to the store on a time that you need to be there. Set the rules again and remind them I left the last time and I will do it again. Do not buy them something every time you do to the store or the will expect that every time. Let them know this is what we are looking for can you find this for me. Make a game out of it. Tell them this is all we are getting and nothing else! But make sure that is all you walk out with!

Sharon - posted on 06/04/2009

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Someone once told me, they threw a glass of cold tap water on their son's face. NEVER did he have any more tantrums. He was so shocked, he never forgot!!

CJ - posted on 06/04/2009

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Trying to ignore the problem can work or can make it much worse depending on the child. they could be having there temper problems for attention and if you ignore them they may not respond too nicely to it. Another good thing to do is to get down to there level look them in the eye and tell them you will talk to them when they are done. Tell them to go to there room or whereever and let them calm down. When they calm down go and ask them what the problem was. They may only be three but they could have a reason for being in a bad mood. When my nephew used to have problems with temper we tried everything and the one thing that actually worked was me getting on the floor and doing the same thing he was doing. He didnt like it at all and i told him that he was doing the same thing and we didnt appreciate it. After that day he never did it again... haha That could go 2 ways too though. You just need to find what works for you.

Charlotte - posted on 06/04/2009

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It really depends on her temperment. Have you tried complete ignorance? What we learned for our very strong willed child is no talking, no looking, no touching. So as long as she is someplace safe (always teach this method at home, not in a store, for the first few times) you just ignore, even if you have to shut yourself in the bathroom in order to do so. We used it for screaming and it worked right away. The other side is that you HAVE to praise when she is behaving properly, using words or following directions, etc., for it to work. The book our parenting seminar used was, Parenting the Strong Willed CHild, it was great and I highly recommend it if your girl is strong willed. Good Luck!

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