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my angels first birthday is coming up...

Dylann - posted on 09/19/2009 ( 22 moms have responded )

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Halloween should be my son's first birthday.... I guess I'm just curious how everyone else has dealt with the first birthday, and then the first angel-versary of their babies death date... My son lived for 11days, and I'm dreading this first birthday and his death date... Just not sure how it'll be...

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Angela - posted on 04/12/2013

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hi on the 30th may 2012 my baby angel joshua paul nicholson was born sleeping.Its coming up to his 1st birthday anniversary and i am dreading it as want to celebrate it and make it special for him but dont know how to.I was hopeing to have his headstone for his little bed but due to being off work with health issues its going to take longer to arrange with setback with shortage of money.I would love some ideas on how to make his birthday special except from balloons and cakes if anyone has any ideas as want to make my lil boy proud of me.thankyou.angela thompson x

Kaylee - posted on 09/22/2009

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For my son's first birthday we had a little party at his grave. There was cake and everyone got a balloon and a sharpie and they wrote a message to Hunter on them. Then we sang him happy birthday and released our balloons at the same time. I dont think we'll do that every year but I wanted something special for his first. I just kept myself busy and tried to celebrate the 5 weeks that he was here. On his angelversury I just visited him and pretty much cried all day. Everyone does it different and deals with it differntly. I['m sure whatever you do will be good for you! Best of luck, these are very hard days!

Susan - posted on 10/16/2011

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On Feb. 24th 2009 my Little girl was born sleeping. I celebrate her birthday with close family and close friends. Her first birthday we just had a little party, since it was so new to us....On her second birthday We had cake (for her and my dad since they share the same birthday. and for me too since my birthday it Feb 26th) and we all wrote on balloons and let them go in the air. I do something for her every holiday. I put a pumpkin out there for her again this year and we all signed it with love. I'm not sure what I'm going to do for Nevaeh's 3rd birthday, but whatever I decided I'm sure it'll be surrounded by family and friends!

Marsha - posted on 09/26/2009

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My opinion is to celebrate the birthday for sure. My daughter passed away when she was 3 years and 3 months old after complications from open heart surgery. She wanted a wedding cake for her 4th birthday because she thought they were beautiful. So my family and I celebrate Riley's birthday every year as we would if she were still with us. We eat dinner at her favorite chinese place and get a wedding topper that is purple with a butterfy. We all have other things that we do seperately to "celebrate" her, but our children are gifts from God no matter how long we get to "keep" them. I think we should celebrate them and their birthdays gives us that chance to honor them. I hope his birthday warms your heart as remember your precious baby, Hugs to you.

Jenette - posted on 09/23/2009

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My son passed away after fighting 6 days in the NICU from prematurity. We celvrated his first b-day with a little party of family and friends. I said I would have a prty if he was here so hy not still do one? We had cake and we were going to fly kites and have every guest write something on a piece of paper about him and attach it to the string. Unfortunalty, in March it was a really windy day and we couldn't get the kites up :( I also told everyone about what happened and about his short life here on Earth. It was hard, bit I am glad we did it.

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Deirdre - posted on 02/04/2014

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My son was Born March 28th 2012 he lived 29 days such short time, I will always remember the time we had together frm womb to earth but on his first birthday I had a 1st Birthday party cake decoration n all (sum say it was to much) but we all grieve differently close friends n family all went to his grave site n released balloons yes it was hard but I grew stronger he was one Loved little guy who had a wonderful impact on everyone in such little time but I just wanted to say that the 1st birthday can mean so much so

Erin - posted on 02/03/2014

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My baby boy lived just 12 days. When his first birthday came we bought a cupcake and a special candle for him and lit it all day that day. We also let family members and friends join us in lighting a candle not only for his birthday but also on the day of his passing. I was beautiful to see that there were so many people who still thought about and loved out baby boy. I can also suggest a balloon launch. Just yourself or family and friends also can gather and let balloons go in honor of your baby. It is such a sweet moment to share.

Michelle - posted on 01/30/2014

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I can relate.. My sons first bday is coming up on March 27th and I don't know what I'm going to do for his bday. He was bon on March 27th 2013 and he lived 4 hrs. and 29. minutes so my sons bday and death date is on the same day.. its going to be a rough day but I still want to do something for his bday even though hes not physically here.

Nicole - posted on 10/04/2012

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Birthdays and anniversaries of deaths are always tough. Tomorrow, October 5th, would have been my son's 9th birthday. I am beside myself as always. Sometimes I find however the anticipation of the day ends up being worse than the day itself. The first year is always hard, and to be honest, in my experience all the years are hard, but each year I think you can look at it in a more celebratory sense than in one of sadness. I also know that as your son had a short life, so did mine (he lived 38 days, all spent in the ICU), and the time between those dates can be difficult.



Each year, my family (it's pretty big, fortunately) gathers at his gravesite, sings happy birthday, and eats cupcakes. We let off a balloon for each year of his would be age. We leave him fresh flowers.



I try to think of him as my guardian angel, watching me from above. After he died, a family friend gave me this poem, and although it always makes me cry, I find strength in it. I don't know who wrote it, but I hope you find it helpful.



When God call little children to dwell with him above

We mortals sometimes question the wisdom of His love.

For no heartache compares with the death of one small child

Who does so much to make our world seem so wounderful and mild.

Perhaps God tires of calling the aged to His fold

So he picks a little rosebud berfore it can grow old.

God knows how much we need them, so he takes but a few

To make heaven more beautiful to view.

Believing this is difficult, still somehow we must try.

The saddest word mankind knows will always be "goodbye"

So when a little child departs, we who are left behind

Must realize God loves children...Angels are hard to find.

Erika - posted on 09/04/2012

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My son passed away on 7/30/12 and his first birthday would be coming up on 10/17....miss him and love him with all my heart.

Kristy - posted on 08/25/2012

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I am in your same situation. My son passed away on September 2, 2011 and I have been trying to decide what to do for his first birthday. Originally I had plans of completing his headstone by his first birthday and celebrating that way but I wasn't prepared for how long it would take me to be able to even start to look at headstones, needless to say I can't find anything I think is good enough for my son as I am sure most moms feel the same. I think I have decided to celebrate by having my parents and my very best friends out to see him, I plan on making cup cakes, getting him I'm 1 balloon and gifting to a children's charity in honor if my son Pierce Alexander Campbell. I have these things planned but I also am trying to be realistic and telling myself I may not be able to even get out of bed that day. I hope this helps in some way. Just know i will pray for you and your family.

Karen - posted on 10/09/2011

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My sisters little daughter was born on 10-10-10 and died on 1-3-10, she was almost 3 mths old, she died of a seizure disorder in her sleep. She is already taking this pretty hard, her life is turned upside down, this was her first baby. My b-day was today, and she would have been 1 tommorrow, i just dont understand it, but I do know that God will help you thru. Email me sometime so we can talk. My name is Karen Daugherty and my email is adorableme29@hotmail.com, I hope it goes ok for u but i know it will be hard, just remember that we will see them again in heaven one day.

Megan - posted on 10/10/2009

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Liam's first year b-day anniversary isnt untill 6/6 but we planted a tree from him with a plaq and burried his ash's their. Every year we plan on having a cake up their with him and singing him happy birthday./

Brooke - posted on 10/10/2009

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Every year for Carter's birthday we have a cake and sing happy birthday. The kids like to be able to celebrate him on his day! We then go to the cemetary and tie balloons to the garden stake there. This past birthday, the kids chose to put little plastic dinosaurs on his stone because he would have been 5. I wish you all the best however you decide to spend the day, but remember that milestone birthdays pack quite a punch. Surround yourself with family and friends if you can. My thoughts are with you.

Leanne - posted on 10/03/2009

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Angel--Leigh was born sleeping 21/01/08...2days after her sisters 1st birthday.

We went to her grave on her "1st birthday" and lit a number 1 candel and sat there in silence till it burnt out but thats not all we had a "special box" made for her...and we got fam and friends to write a birthday card or letter to her and put them in there (we do this for xmas too) that way she is still apart of our life and she shears life with us as if she was here....i also put pics of special events in her box aswell...weddings,hols,other birthdays ect. but find ya own way to celebrate him hope this has helped xx

Jane - posted on 09/28/2009

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Its been ten years since my little boy JAMES was still born,i remember that horrid day as if it was here now,there is not a minute of any day that i dont think about him,he is on my mind always.I went through lots of emotions through the years that followed,first were the tears,then the dissapointment and feelings of faliure,then emence anger of why me,i have never been a bad person nor was my husband,i have to tell you it took many years later for me to even feel like i could step into a church all of everything that i believed in dissapeared the minute i gave birth to a dead baby.The first aniversary of james death stayed with me like a dark cloud and i was pregnant with my second baby,i tried to be brave and put a smile on but inside i was dying,its funny how many people try not to talk about your loss incase they upset you but i wanted to acknowledge that although i was pregnant again i was in my eyes already a mummy.I would like to say that time will heal your broken heart but you will know that things will probably never be the same again,so when my daughter amelia was born i decided that each birthday that james would have had i would still celebrate it as if he was here,we as a family still buy a birthday card and i will bake a cake and sing a happy birthday ,this has become a normal part of our lives over the years and my children talk about their brother freely to friends and family,you have to get on and be brave,i still have my moments they come as quickly as they dissapear,i could be doing something silly like watching tv or washing up and those tears keep coming,the fear also of will this happen again stays with you too for a long time but i can tell you two more beautiful girls followed after james full of fun and all mine.When people ask me how many children i have i always say i have two earth children and one angel baby. you stay well and safe jane hollands x

Dylann - posted on 09/28/2009

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Thank you everyone for sharing that with me! Since his birthday is on Halloween, I bought jack-o-lantern candle globes and we will put them out at the cemetery and light them for him on his birthday! I don't think I'd be able to do the whole birthday party thing... I think it'd be to hard... Again, thank you everyone for sharing your stories!

Heather - posted on 09/21/2009

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hey mama...i remember my daughters first birthday. she passed away when she was just 27 days old (SIDS), and i had a REALLY hard time dealing with her first birthday. i wanted to do something special to honor her, but not make a huge deal about it. my husband and i aren't the type to do a birthday party, like some of my angel mom friends do, and Gabby was our first, so we had no other children at the time to "celebrate" with. So, we ended up donating trees in her memory to the Arbor Day Society. we donated 27 trees...one for each day she was with us. It made me feel good to know that SOMETHING was growing for her, since she was no longer here to grow with us. i've made this a tradition...Gabby would have turned 2 this past July. if you like that idea, go to the Arbor Day website, it's only $1 per tree.
i feel for you....the first birthday is really hard to get through...it was for me anyway. in a way it was harder than her first Angel Day, so be prepared to do a lot of crying. i took the day off work, because i knew i was going to have a tough time. hang in there, sweetie. ((((hugs))))

Rochelle - posted on 09/21/2009

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My son died 10 days after his 16th birthday and just after mothers day in 1997, making May a very hard month for me. The first birthday was hard because I didn't prepare for it and all I could do is cry, but I promised that I would never allow myself to not do something on his birthday again even if it meant taking the kids and now grand-kids out to eat on that day or volunteering at the local YMCA. Yes I still cry. I miss him very much but I don't feel like the day goes by without acknowledging his birth.

Kate - posted on 09/21/2009

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my baby daughter's 1st birthday is on october 9th, she died when she was 6 months old. she was in hospital from birth and never came home. i have asked friends and family to buy books for us to give new parents with babies in NICU to read to their babies, that helped us when we couldnt hold her. we read to her everyday. we are taking our older daughter to the zoo as we used to do that as an outing when we were in hospital. i dont know why, but we dont want a family gathering by her grave or a party. we want to just be together the 3 of us. oh, i also put together some video that not many of my family have seen, and sent them it on dvd, asking if they would play it on her birthday and have her cousins send some balloons up. im sure it will be a hard day, but i will try to remember the good days and how special our baby is. kate

Marci - posted on 09/20/2009

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Hello my son's b-day and d-day is one in the same. He would have been six this last April. Each year has been different. I try to do something special that keeps his memory alive. At 2 of the b-days I got a tattoo. His footprints n his birth flower. I would say to take it moment by moment. Just remember what ever emotions or feelings that you have are ok, your heart is healing very slowly, don't fight it your heart knows what it needs to do to heal. Good luck.

Clair - posted on 09/20/2009

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My daughters first birthday is also coming up on the 20th of november and i'm dreading it too. It should be one of many happy birthdays but it just makes u remember what u don't have. We plan to visit our daughters grave with some flowers and candles and just spend some time with her and dedicate the day to her like we would have if she was here. I hope u can get throught the day peacefully and just remember the special and precious time u had with ur son. love clair - maddison's mummy.

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