23 year old son, unemployed still living at home

Debbi - posted on 04/18/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )




Hello all this is just a rant as I am feeling a little overwhelmed with life at the moment.

I work in the automotive industry and so does my husband.

At the moment I am only working one day a week and my hubby has had a 5% oay reduction. My son is still living at home, unemployed and he doesn't seem to notice the stress we are under trying to keep up with the bills. I just don't know how much more I can take before I blow up at everyone in my path.

Wishing you all good fortune. Have a great evening.



Teddie - posted on 05/04/2009




If you are expecting him to "notice", you may not be telling him how you feel directly. Some people, especially younger ones, have not learned the art of paying attention to the needs of those around them. If you don't ask him to help/work/clean/chip in, he can't surprise you by saying yes. He's already said "no" inside your head without the benefit of having the conversation. Now, if you HAVE asked and nothing has happened, there need to be some deadlines imposed for behavioral changes. Have you and your husband had a talk about this? Does he agree that things need to change? Will he help you present a united front? What issues are most pressing? Make a list together and discuss it before you sit down with your son. I highly recommend Parenting with Love and Logic by Jim Fay and Foster Cline. It will work with any age group. Good luck and please let us know how it works out.


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Brenda - posted on 06/16/2009




Do not let this behavior continue, if you do he will never grow up...take action now, trust me, been there & DONE THAT!!!

[deleted account]

Teddie McConnell's advice is spot on... I did this with my 2 sons... They are now out on their own... We changed the locks on our doors... They will never hear... At that age they are repeating the terrible 2's all over again... Don't continue to create a dependant sponge... Take action NOW>>>>

M Linda - posted on 05/04/2009




I have been in this situation myself. I am sorry you are experiencing such financial stress.

Question for you...Has you son ever lived on his own?


April - posted on 04/24/2009




Hi Debbi. I am a 42 yr. old single parent of three boys, and a grandson. My 14 and 21 yr. old boys live with me. My 21 yr. old works sporadically, but owes everyone money, always wants/needs to use my car and never replaces the gas he uses. I can definately relate to what you're talking about.

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