Anger

Denise - posted on 06/05/2017 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Four of my children were abused by another child of mine; it has devastated all of us for years; except their father. He continues to get away with manipulating the children, telling the victims that he does not believe them and talking about their abuser even though there is a court order in place. It has been ten years and still no healing for my children. I am exhausted. Two have tried to commit suicide; one more than four times and one just recently. Three girls and a son were abused by their older brother. All the children say it started with their dad but none will tell on him. Life is torturous these days; I am exhausted and hopeless. There is no one in my corner, and God is silent. The struggle to get services, healing and compassion are not on this planet; at least not where I live. I moved us out of the state it happened thinking it would be beneficial, I was sorely mistaken, there are no good resources and or they suck.

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Shannon - posted on 01/16/2018

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I am so sorry you and your family are experiencing this trauma. I am new to this site and have thought as I read these posts, "Yes this is horrible, unbearable, but there is no one whose son has sexually abused his brother." I am thankful to connect with you as it is difficult to live each day with the guilt and pain of having two of your children involved in such a tragedy. I read that you have many children involved. I cannot imagine the pain you are in. And I am so sorry your husband has not been supportive. What did you mean when you said your children say it started with your husband but they would not tell on him? I have often wondered and early on accused my husband of abusing our oldest son. Our oldest son denies any knowledge of being abused but he also denies that he has abused his brother. I believe that the truth always comes out. I'm not sure I can live with my husband if he has been involved. May I ask you what has happened to your son that abused his siblings? We reported the abuse to DCS the next day but our son, James refuses to give a statement to authorities. He says he never wants to see his brother again in his lifetime but that he does not want to wreck his life. Because a statement has not been given by our son the police have not contacted our oldest son, Lee. My husband and I drove to his college (9 hours away) and confronted him. He denied everything which is so hurtful.

I'm so sorry that it seems that God is silent. I understand as I have wrestled with understanding why God would allow this to happen. I love the Lord but I am definitely having a difficult time trusting him and trying to be hopeful. I know God weaps for our families. It's just that it doesn't feel like he is present in the pain. I will pray that you hear him soon through another person or a changing of some circumstance.

After reviewing this message I realize it is fragmented and does not make much sense.
Unfortunately, I do not have the energy to change it. I just pray that I have not said anything here that is hurtful to you. I desire only to be a compassionate and to connect with another mom who really knows. I will be praying for you Denise that God will intervene and you will feel his presence.

I actually wrote this first: I, too, have a 15 year old son who was sexually abused by his older brother. He disclosed to me in October of 2017. Our lives have been a nightmare since that day. We reported to DCS the following day. In the spring of 2017 our 15 year old tried to hurt himself and started making himself vomit after eating. We immediately got him into counseling. Thankfully, he was open to it and we found a wonderful counselor which I believe is part of the reason he was finally strong enough to tell me. I have so many mixed emotions. I sometimes hate my oldest son and wish him dead and other times my heart is broken to pieces for him. I feel so much pain and confusion. I am seeking help for myself but have been on a waiting list for counseling since early November.

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