Daughter and broken family ties

Denise - posted on 09/14/2017 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My daughter was sexually abused by her cousin when she was six and he was 15. She got help. She didn't tell us until the year after it happened but there were signs something was bothering her. She's 18 now and doing well but I am not. Turns out the parents of this nephew lied about the extent of the abuse to other family members. They were told their son just pulled his pants down and pulled them right back up. This is so far from the truth it's not funny. I spent years thinking our family(nephew is son of my husbands sister) only cared about his welfare and I was told to get over it. They know the truth now and are trying to make amends but the damage was done. He's getting married at the end of the month and they are are all going. I need guidance. My husband won't talk about it and I still have occasional nightmares about it. I've talked to therapists but I want to connect with moms who have been there. Thanks for listening

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Shannon - posted on 01/16/2018

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There are no easy answers. Our son disclosed to us in October of last year. The effects on our family have been enormous. Ideally and in a perfect world there would be forgiveness for all that surround this horrible violation. I am not there and don't know that I ever will be. Only a miracle from God will allow for forgiveness. I understand the nightmares. They are horrible and rob you of sleep that you desperately need to continue to care for your daughter, husband and yourself. I'm afriad I am becoming addicted to benadryl as it helps me to sleep so I take every night. As far as going to the wedding I think you have a complete pass if you are not ready to see your nephew, especially since it is his wedding. I pray God will bless you and your family with complete healing.

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