How to handle this sexual assault situation?

User - posted on 09/30/2012 ( 9 moms have responded )

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my daughter just turned 3 and she stopped going potty. she would get this unusual rash dr told me to just put medicine on it. Come to find out my 7 year old has been sexually abusing her. at that his father who is in jail for something else is the one who would hurt him. his dad has no rights but i dont know what to do. im so scared and hurt but im also stuck i love my son but what he did to my little girl make me angry. please any advise would help. he has my little girl convinced that he can do that to her. when i try to explain to her it wring she argues with me and says my son told her it ok

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Bobbie - posted on 09/30/2012

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Sad, sad situation. All of you are victims. Know that first and foremost! Also realize that someone has taught this to your son! Abused children will abuse other children to gain the feeling back of the power that was taken away from them from THEIR abuser. Chances are I am guessing it was the guy in jail.

Look at it as the family crisis that it is! Call child protective services and report that you are unaware of who harmed your son but some did because he is abusing his little sister. They will get the family counseling.

IF YOU HAVE ANY ADULT MALE LIVING IN YOUR HOME OF WATCHING THE KIDS NO LONGER LEAVE THEM ALONE WITH HIM!!!! Someone is either actively abusing your son or has in the recent past. He would not simply start abusing his sister.

I pray you get help ASAP! This is not an "I will handle it" situation. Your children's health is at risk, physically, mentally and emotionally! Both of them!

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Whitney - posted on 01/14/2015

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sorry but not all kids who sexually abuse smaller kids have been molested them selves. I know from experience. my son molested kids and he swears he has never been touched and that he just wanted to see what it was like. sad but true

Amanda - posted on 05/24/2014

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Protect your daughter, report the abuse to the authorities, have your son removed from the house, and get both your children to the therapist. You will need therapy too, this is hard, the fact that his is your son makes the situation harder. But, understand your son NEEDS help, and your daughter needs to feel safe. I know this is easier said than done, but it must be done. Please get the help for your son otherwise he will never stop. I've worked for the prison system many years, believe me...they don't stop they just get worse if they are not helped.

Minerba - posted on 04/27/2014

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It is normal to feel the way you do. Are you accessing any help for your son? Counseling can help if you find someone with experience in sexual assault. It is a good idea for your daughter to have counselling as well. Do you have a support network? family? friends?
Take care of yourself. It is hard work to support our children who have been abused.
We the right help they can get better.
Keep talking to your daughter and tell her that what happened to her was not okay and it was not her fault. Talk to your son and remind him that what he did was not okay.

I wish you the best.

Amanda - posted on 04/23/2014

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I too am going through a similar situation. I found out a month a go that my 11 year old was molesting my 5 year old. The first thing I did was call my own counselor. She helped me through it and set appointments up for both of my children to see other professionals in the practice. The abuse was reported by my sons counselor. A detective investigated, my daughter went tot eh center and told him what happened to her. There was no CPS involvement. My house is on lock down there is an alarm on my sons bedroom door, they are never alone together. In the mean time I am a wreck inside and contemplate how to get out of the relationship. My son is not biologically mine but I have been one of his mothers since birth. I am in an emotional state and have cried for two weeks now. I am journaling per my counselors suggestion at this point I am living one day at a time. I wish you well in your healing journey.

Maria - posted on 07/06/2013

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your son seven years old need help. He did it because some body did to him. Your daughter need help too. also, you need help too. look for it..

User - posted on 12/08/2012

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Thank you for you advice. but I have already filled charges on my son's biological father. he will do his time in the state that he is in then transfer back to our state and deal with that. but I feel stupid, blind, and I feel like I failed my daughter as a mother. Im supposed to protect her and I failed as a mother. My now husband who is not the father of my son doesn't know what to do. All he tells me is if I report my son then both my kids will get taken away. I don't want that. I love them to death but, I don't want my daughter to feel the same way I did when my parents did nothing to a family member who was abusing me. I know how it feels when someone is roaming free because of who they are. I feel if I don't get a hold of this now then in future what will my son do then? What if I get a phone call from school that he hurt some girl. Now I just got my son back summer of 2010. his father kidnapped him from me when he was 16 months old. it was on good morning America. I don't know how to deal with my feelings. I have no one to talk to except my husband but I feel I need girl talk. I don't have friends. I stay alone at home. The only thing I can think of is to send him away to an all boy school but then I think of what his dad may have done and not so sure if that's a good idea.

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