I am having the same problem with my two year old as well. he wont stop yelling and hitting us. time out does not seem to work but what else is there??


Yelena - posted on 03/06/2009




wow it looks like alot of us have this problem.  My son is in a pre school and there are a set of twins there that are out of control.  They will just come up to a child and hit them streight in the head out of nowhere because the teacher told them no.  They would then be put in time out where they would drop to the floor and cry non-stop and throw tantrums beyond belief.  After a few days I realized that my son was very close to those boys and then shortly after my son began to pull the same routines.  Dropping to the floor when things did not go his way.  Yell and scream when being put in a time out, and hit and throw when he was not happy.  My biggest thing is that if i hit my son it would show him that I do it as well and that is something that I want to avoid.  If you hit or spank your children you do not have the autority to say that they cannot hit anymore.  I think that the best method is simply to ignor the behavior.  They need you alot more then you need to be around them.  As the adult have the will power to say "You hurt mommy and now I do not want to play with you."  A few minutes later when they ask you for something say "I am very upset that you hit me and I do not want to play with you or talk."  When they do attempt another conversation then say "I want you to apologize to mommy for hitting me, that was not nice at all."  If they say sorry your done go back to loving mommy and just with a smile say please do not do that it hurts me and you would not like it done to you.  If they refuse to appologize which I had at first just simply keep going with the "Then I do not want to play" routine.  They will give in!

Karen - posted on 02/24/2009




I went through this with all three boys. By the time my third started to go through it, I was ready. Rather than overreacting to the situation by yelling, hitting back, whatever, I simply moved away from him (most of the time he would hit while being held, so putting him on the ground and stepping away) and said "We don't hit" very firmly. Usually the shock of mommy leaving was enough to hurt his feelings and we'd make up quickly after he said sorry. We got through that phase very quickly with him, but as everyone says each kid is different. My eight year old had the hardest time with it and still has a hard time keeping his hands to himself!


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Angela - posted on 02/15/2009




My 4 yr olds behaviour was OUT OF CONTROL!!!!!!! I ended up putting him in therapy and a great book How to Behave so Your Pre-Schooler Will Too! This book helped when others had Not!  I refuse to yell now because he wins when I do and taking away toys works better than time outs ever did  I really reccomend this book

Julie - posted on 02/08/2009




Hi, I just want to say u are not alone. My little one has just turned 3 and has been hitting for sometime now. I find its worse when he is tired during the late afternoon, so I get his tea ready and off to bed by 7 wiv his warm milk .. I really have found that routine is the best thing in the world... Done all sorts of punishment but not much luck, just picking him up and putting him far away from who he is hitting and not making any contact wiv him, helps. They start to get bored I think when your taking no notice.....

Francine - posted on 02/08/2009




My son aged 4 used to hit  a lot at home, we've done it all, the spanking, timeouts, doing what he does back at him etc... each kid is different.  what works so far for us since we've eliminated certain things and he's a lot calmer even though people don't agree with it.  I've removed every violent cartoon to watch.  I find if he wathces pokemon he gets violent.  so it's gone from my house and from his daycare.  routine is extremely important.  my kids get up and go to bed at the same time everyday, the routine doesn't change much.  I refuse to listen to his tantrums they have to held in his room with the door closed and when he's done the tantrum he can come out.  he actually says "my tantrums done can I come out now?"  it's cute I hope this helps a bit.

Shannon - posted on 02/06/2009




Hi Lindi - my 3 year old is Jeckyll and Hyde.  He's lovey dovey then he turns QUICKLY into a monster.  We've tried time outs (he destroys everything in his path), spanking (yes, we do this), screaming, ignoring, holding him close and gentle while counting to 20, walking away, etc.  In fact, he gave me a black eye this morning because he didn't want to put clean underpants on.  We are at our wits end too.  I do notice, however, it gets worse when he's sick/tired.  For the past two months, we are up until 11:00 pm listening to him cry because he doesn't want to sleep in his own bed.  He'll finally fall asleep and he's up at 3:00 am for the day.  So, on average, WE'RE ALL getting about 4 hours of sleep a night.  Our 13 year old is sleep deprived too and we don't know what to do.  Maybe someone will offer us both a solution.  Good luck with your little one.  I know it's tough to stay calm, but remember to breathe.  I'm obviously not one to offer advice on how to deal with the tantrums, but I am a good shoulder and listener.

:)  Shannon

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