What is the best way to have the sex talk with my 10 year old son? any adivise

Sarah - posted on 08/21/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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Ok ladies i need some help please. my 10 year old son tells me the other day that he can get married when he is 16 years old. wondering why he said this i asked him why he thinks this..here was his response "well if you are 16 and your girlfriend gets pregnant then you can get married" not knowing were this had come from i asked him. he said he read it in a book. well now i am getting the were do babies come from,, when can i have a girl friend, why is my body changing, i am wiating for the SEX question to to come out of his mouth at any minute. He wanted to buy a shirt the other day with an almost naked chick on it... i am going crazy not knowing the right way to answer these questions, and not wanting to give him the wrong answers as well. So now i sit here and ask for your help ladies... any advise on how to approch this and explain things the right way to him. any advise is greatly appriciated. Thank You!

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Julie - posted on 08/22/2009

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Hi I rememeber with my son, I had him read a puberty book first, then after about 4 talks we talked about everything. Maybe start with "You know how your bodys changing"?

My son is 13 now and we still touch basis as to wear he is at his puberty stage, leaving the door open for any discussions.

Try and not have any family memebers around when u do talk.

Its actually easier then we anticipate, especially after they have a bit of a read of a good puberty book. Maybe try book shops to find one

Hope this helps a bit

Cheers Julie

Australia

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Heather - posted on 08/20/2012

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I have a son who is 10 and he is going threw the same thing I need help to. I went up in his room today and he was looking in hes study bible and it was open to a page that was talking about god and sex. yes its important to know how God and sex go together but I would like him to ask me questions, so I asked him is there anything he want to know and he says no, I say are you sure because I know there are things boys your age want to know. and he just stared at me and say no. but I know there are questions but I don't want to push it. what should I do. I see what people posted on here and it helps but I scared it may not work. my point is he listens but doesn't really talk, so what should I say to him that he will hear me but wont push him away.

Brandi - posted on 10/01/2009

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just do it! It is hard but very very important at his age. Dont talk to him as if he knows nothing about it because I can promise you he knows more than you can even imagine. He will find out on his own if you are not the one to tell him so just be straight with him. My son is 9 and we have already had the talk. Our relationship is very open and honest and yes I turn red at times but I feel it is the best way to approach it. That is how a man would approach it, just straight on. Hope this helps ease your fear a little bit.

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About the shirt with the naked chick...you should explain to him that those kinds of shirts are degrading to women and he doesn't want to be that kind of person who degrades women. And, it also degrades himself since he's wearing it. It'll give off the wrong impression of who he is.

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Having him read a puberty book is probably a good start! Being open to his questions and willing to answer them honestly is also helpful. I hope you told him its really difficult to have a baby and a 16 year old boy needs to work on going to school and preparing himself to have a family later, in his 20's or 30's!!! A man/father has to be able to support his family and good grades and a college education is a real good start for those things, all of which you do not have by the young age of 16!!!

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