What do you do when you want to shake your teenager in the hopes of getting sense in their head?

Sheri L - posted on 09/03/2009 ( 1 mom has responded )




She (almost 17) gets her mind set and no one can tell her where her logic and facts are wrong. She won't listen to reason. Every scientific, or other fact you try to make her aware of; she just says that they are wrong. Even when your quoting Einstien.


Tara - posted on 11/06/2009




Ugh! I feel your pain Sheri!! I try to remind myself everyday that girls at this age (mine is 16 also) are working hard to become 'independent women'--not shadows of their mothers. And, as such, need to reject EVERYTHING that comes from mom in order to break away and into their own...I'm told they'll eventually find their way back to us & we'll have a wonderful, mutually valued, relationship in the end-- I pray this is true :)

I have been finding this past year that my daughter listens to me most when I talk to her like a young adult, not just my daughter. Particularly sharing stories of similar situations that I encountered when I was her age. Sharing the feelings I remember, as well as what I did and what happened as a result. I always end it with "take what you want from it or just leave it" :) This way I'm not trying to disprove her or tell her she's wrong. She listens & I listen through our sharing similar situations.

The only other thing I've recently finally accepted is that the natural consequences of being wrong are the best teachers. My role is no longer as protector, but as comforter-- when the truth smacks her in the face, I give hugs, an ear, and never an 'I told you so'...BUT if it's something such as following rules, expectations, etc. that she's arguing, then I have to get very basic again-- firmly stating this is how it is, period. You don't need to understand it, but you will follow it.

Hope something in this jabber helps :) Good luck!!

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