Scheduling

Erica - posted on 02/04/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

62

9

11

How do I tell my parents that it's not healthy for babies to be on a schedule anymore?

We're taking our little boy to visit them this weekend and every time I get around my Mom and Dad they mention that I should put him on a schedule, because that's what they did when they raised my brother and I. Well it's not recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics anymore because it's bad for the babies growth and health.

I'm a big fan of feeding on demand because it's just the most natural thing for me, but I'm afraid of my parent's comments because he eats so often. Plus, I hold him as much as possible, well because he loves to be held instead of put down.

Any suggestions on how to reply to "helpful" comments?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Lee-Ann - posted on 05/20/2009

12

7

3

One thing that work very well is to use the "broken record" approach. It might sound like "I can hear that your concerned about your grandchild, but x and I have decided that this is working for us". You just keep saying it over and over until they stop talking. I am also a fan of strewing useful information about, so they can casually pick it up and look over some of the rescources that you have used to make your decision. I do this and find my parents throwing my own stuff back in my face later. (my mom say, "well the La Leche League website says...)

Emily - posted on 02/13/2009

1,065

17

124

I've found it best to just explain to my parents (and my in-laws) that their parenting style and the advice they were given when their kids were born has become outdated as we've learned more and progressed as a society. It's usually best if you explain that you understand they did the best they could with the knowledge they had at the time, and you appreciate them being the best parents they could be... but now the world in general has better access to new information, and now you are doing your best to be the best parent you can be with the knowledge you have... and that you learned how to do the best possible by watching them do the best they could do.

Crystal - posted on 02/05/2009

570

11

70

I would just explain while that worked for them you and your husband are planning on trying things your way and while you appreciate their advice you would like to have a nice visit without their continuous interfering. Just make it clear you are the parents now and you'll do things your way.



My in laws are the same way, it's annoying.

11 Comments

View replies by

Charli - posted on 06/22/2009

1

0

0

I gave up on explaining how I raise my daughter a long time ago. When my parents or in-laws comment, I just smile and nod. If they don't drop it, I just say that's how I do things and there's been nothing wrong with it so far.

Marie - posted on 06/19/2009

266

73

25

My parents haven't said ANYTHING to me about nursing and when to drop feeds and all that. We're playing it by ear. Baby will go to nap time with just a short feed, a cuddle and blanket. I leave the room with the door partially open so he can hear me do stuff around the house for a few minutes - like go to the bathroom, tidy up the other bedroom, etc. After about 10 minutes I shut his door all the way and down he goes.



I'm self employed so daddy and I have slightly different routines on our days - we each work 2.5 days during the week - so baby gets a bottle when I'm not home. Sippy cups are an issue since he gets used to the pinch n sip then he tries it on the nipple - OWCH! He likes cups with straws too and we don't have that problem. :)



I get funny looks from people when I'm still pumping at work - mostly from the same person over and over (she has an awful memory) and asked when I'm going to stop BF. I tell them "whenever Alexander and I are ready". She wanders off with a *snort*.



Do as thou wilt... each to their own. :)

Cheryl - posted on 06/19/2009

738

36

176

Us too! How is that going for you? Elizabeth doesn't mind a sippy cup and drinks just fine from them but if I'm near, she much rather have me. How are you doing it? I'm home for 8 or so hours with her so it's not like Dad can take her in the other room. I'm finding if I leave her in the high chair and go in the other room during snacks and lunch it works but then I feel bad...

Marie - posted on 06/18/2009

266

73

25

There's absolutely nothing wrong with babywearing and feeding on demand. If you're a SAHM and it works for you, go nuts - you might find, however that planning for naps and bedtime as baby gets older it's easier if you have a routine set relatively early.



We started certain routines with Alex much older - like nap and bedtime routine. Baby adapts anyway.



We're nursing, and eventually went from on-demand to approx every 3 hours. Now we're working on eliminating daytime feeds - he's 13 months now.



Best wishes!

Cheryl - posted on 06/17/2009

738

36

176

I agree with all that's been said! You just have to be firm and politely acknowledge you hear them but you and your husband will decide to do x. I always said I was demand feeding but each of the kids put themselves on their own schedule anyway. The only difference is not being able to preplan things as certain. And really, with kids, no plan A ever works perfectly anyway!

Emily - posted on 06/16/2009

1,065

17

124

That's really funny... how can your milk be making her too fat, yet not be filling her up? Some people's logic (or lack thereof) really cracks me up. :)

Lucy - posted on 06/16/2009

411

29

29

Oh god my MIL drives me mad with this! I BF my daughter on demand and I get the whole...



"your feeding her too often" "she's getting too fat" "your milk might not be filling her enough give her formula" "are you sure your milks not dried up, she shouldn't be feeding that often" "don't let her suck for comfort give her a dummy"



Amongst many other ridiculous comments just because my 10wk old daughter feeds every couple of hours! It drives me insane, I don't mind feeding her every couple of hours so why does it bother her that she doesn't go 4 hours between feeds like bottle fed babies do??? SILLY WOMAN!!!!!!!!

Julianna - posted on 02/05/2009

85

11

10

That is something everyone has to deal with I think. Parents always think they know best of course. I just humor mine and say "you have a good point, I will try that". I would do the same and if baby gets hungry while you are there just look at your watch and tell them "oh, it's time to eat" Because little babies eat every 2 hours anyways.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms