sleeping

Cortney - posted on 12/04/2009 ( 43 moms have responded )

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My daughter still dont sleep through the night. She wakes up at lease 3 or 4 times, and thats on a good night. Sometimes she wakes up even more. I dont run to her side when she starts crying, I let her cry for a little bit, but then she stands up and shakes her crib and screams louder. she does this everytime she wakes up. The peditricion says theres nothing wrong with her and thinks shes just having withdrawls from me. Any suggestions for what i can do to help her sleep through the night?

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Lesley - posted on 12/08/2009

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Quoting Dianne:

Lesley, you sound a bit defensive...are you getting alot of flack for sleeping with your baby? I did the same thing with my first daughter and finally let her CIO at 14 months because she was not showing any signs of sleeping through the night without interference...if you can go years without sleeping through the night, good for you...hope you don't plan on having other children anytime soon!
Shannon, I agree with you...my 13 mth old is my third child and I did the Sleep Sense Program (similar to Ferber method) at 6 months and it worked like a charm. We have had a few little blips (ie teething!) but otherwise, mommy and baby are getting a great night's sleep and are much happier and well-adjusted for it!


Yes, I am getting flack for sleeping with my baby - from my IL's and I have comments like what Shannon said thrown in now and then.  I have had 14 months of negative remarks and not one single positive - it's all about how what I'm doing is wrong and not their way.  Although she is thriving, happy, meeting milestones, never been sick with a cold or fever, doesn't cry often, talks, etc.



You bet I plan on having other children soon - if God is willing. These bumps that we all face with raising a child don't scare me off - I'm almost 40 and I have waited a damn long time and gone through hell to even have one child, so if I have to co-sleep or nurse her more often at night - I will.  She will sleep through the night when she is ready.  She is already showing signs of doing it herself - she is on week 2 of sleeping 9pm to 4am straight - in her own bed.  No CIO method needed.



Raising a child takes patience and sometimes we push them to do what we want before they are ready.

Lesley - posted on 12/04/2009

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Quoting Shannon:

Sounds like she has the power. She does it because she knows you'll come running. Have you tried letting her cry it out? I did it with my son at 6 months and it worked like a charm. It sucked the first night but he slept through the night after that.



I'm sorry, but this kind of response really angers me.  I have heard this time and time again from my MIL and I am so sick of it!  Babies don't have the power - absolute rubbish!



Not ALL babies are capable of sleeping through the night believe it or not.  And not all parents are fans of CIO - I for one am not.  My daughter wakes up 2 or 3 times a night - doesn't cry - just wakes up and will start babbling.  I can leave her but she'll never go back to sleep.  So I take her with me and she goes back to sleep.  She was an exclusively breastfed baby and she is still breastfeeding 14 months later.



CIO is something I refused to let my daughter go through.  I am not unhappy with our sleeping arrangements, it does not upset me, it does not interfere with my daily functioning, my daughter is happy, healthy and thriving. 



You happen to have a baby that was able to put himself to sleep without problems and you are lucky in a sense.  You have undisturbed sleep.  Good for you.  But not all of us have this type of child so please don't make it seem like we are weak.



I on the other hand think I am blessed - I have 14 months of close bonding with my daughter.  She goes to sleep seeing mum and she wakes up with mum.  I have months of cuddling at night with her - something a lot of mum's can not say they have.  She will sleep on her own, by herself when we are both ready.

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Ayesha - posted on 01/05/2010

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my baby girl has done it on various occasions for several reasons:

1) she could be feeling hot or cold... so check if the temperature in the room is moderate.. or maybe she's over or under dressed.. check the back of her neck or tummy to see if she's warm or cold.. a few weeks ago my girl would wake up very frequently and then one night i noticed she was drenched in sweat! once i fixed the problem she went back to her normal sleep pattern :)
2) she could be hungry..
3) she could be teething.. which means that it should be for a few days when the pain is max and then she should be sleeping normal again...
4) she could be having withdrawal symptoms as the doctor is saying.. what i did for a while was keeping her crib right next to the bed with the bar down.. so she was in her bed but she could see us if she woke up in the middle.. and that worked! if she did wake up.. she'd see that we were sleeping next to her and would go right back to sleep.. and once i figured that she was comfortable to sleep on her own i put her crib back against the wall of our room and she sleeps soundly now..

anyway i hope this helps! :) i feel your pain... a good nights sleep is necessary to be able to function in the day...!

Laura - posted on 01/05/2010

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I know some people don't let their babies cry it out. I did though, I let him cry for 2 nights then he never did it again. He goes to bed at 7 pm, I give him a big hug and kiss, lay him down and leave the room promptly. he may get back up for a couple of minutes, but I never hear a peep. He never wakes up in the night and I have to get him up at 6 am because I have to go to work. He also ALWAYS naps from 1-3 pm and I don't ever let him sleep in our room.

Natasha - posted on 01/04/2010

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your daughter wakes up because she needs to know you're there for her to keep her safe. mine sleeps with us, and he still wakes up but it's just to nurse and he never even really wakes up, and neither do i. nothing wrong with cribs of course, but if she's anything like my son, ignoring the crying just causes her to wake up even more and be harder to put back to sleep. instead of waiting, try going in right away. since she's up anyway, no need to prolongue it.

Erika - posted on 01/04/2010

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Cortney you seem to be struggling with the same issues as I do. My daughter still wakes up 2-3 times a night (these are good nights) ... On top of that we have been battling bedtime routines too, so night times have been something I wasn't looking forward to. Something happened about a week ago, when finally she figured it out. I don't know if you heard (maybe somebody already mentioned it in their responses) about the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/ Check out her website she has great suggestions on how to decrease the number of night time wakings. I rented the book from the library, but seh also has suggentions on her website along with daily logs that you can print out.

Louise - posted on 01/03/2010

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I agree with Lesley... I think its cruel to let such a little baby to cry it out.... I would'nt dream of doing it.. when you let a baby cry it out you are teaching her how to give up in life... babies need a lot of love from their parents when they cry they don't do this for nothing... they are so helpless, I can't believe they are left to cry..

Louise - posted on 01/03/2010

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Quoting Lesley:



Quoting Dianne:

Lesley, you sound a bit defensive...are you getting alot of flack for sleeping with your baby? I did the same thing with my first daughter and finally let her CIO at 14 months because she was not showing any signs of sleeping through the night without interference...if you can go years without sleeping through the night, good for you...hope you don't plan on having other children anytime soon!
Shannon, I agree with you...my 13 mth old is my third child and I did the Sleep Sense Program (similar to Ferber method) at 6 months and it worked like a charm. We have had a few little blips (ie teething!) but otherwise, mommy and baby are getting a great night's sleep and are much happier and well-adjusted for it!





Yes, I am getting flack for sleeping with my baby - from my IL's and I have comments like what Shannon said thrown in now and then.  I have had 14 months of negative remarks and not one single positive - it's all about how what I'm doing is wrong and not their way.  Although she is thriving, happy, meeting milestones, never been sick with a cold or fever, doesn't cry often, talks, etc.






You bet I plan on having other children soon - if God is willing. These bumps that we all face with raising a child don't scare me off - I'm almost 40 and I have waited a damn long time and gone through hell to even have one child, so if I have to co-sleep or nurse her more often at night - I will.  She will sleep through the night when she is ready.  She is already showing signs of doing it herself - she is on week 2 of sleeping 9pm to 4am straight - in her own bed.  No CIO method needed.






Raising a child takes patience and sometimes we push them to do what we want before they are ready.





 

Louise - posted on 01/03/2010

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I don't think this is going to be the best ans but if you are desperate let her sleep in your bed. My son is 15 months and still sleeps next to us.. he wakes up once for a bottle and sleeps again, at least i sleep the whole night!!

Jen - posted on 01/02/2010

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My 14 month old son also wakes up a few times a night. He still likes to breastfeed at night, so I'm sure that's why he is waking up. Plus he likes to sleep with me, and I like cuddling with him at night - so that's probably a factor as well. I've personally never worried about when he'll start to sleep through the night because I know it will happen when he is ready. And frankly I'll miss the family bed when my boys grow out of it.

I had the same routine with my 3.5 year old son and he started to sleep though the night (and in his own bed) when we got him a big boy bed after he turned 2. But he was old enough to realize that mommy and daddy were excited for his big boy bed, and that he should be too.

Stay strong, blow off the advice you don't want to hear, and do what feels right for you and your baby.

Katrina - posted on 01/02/2010

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We do co-sleeping and breastfeeding with our 15 month old, and all the books say that waking up 3-4 times a night for a quick feed is completely normal. Since you haven't mentioned the age of your daughter or if she is bottle or breastfed I have no idea what to tell you, sorry!

Ginny - posted on 01/01/2010

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Here is the advice my doc gave to me...I haven't tried this yet b/c I hate letting my son cry...But, she said the first night, go in every 5 minutes, don't pick him up, and just tell him "It's night time, we sleep at night time." and she said I could give him a bottle/sippy cup with water if i wanted to. Then to do that every 5 minutes until he goes back to sleep no matter how long it takes. The next night do the same thing every 10 minutes. The third night every 15 mins, and the fourth night every 20 minutes. She said 99% of babies will then begin to sleep through the night unless there is something going on(teething, etc.). But, she did say 1% just have to outgrow this...but it seems worth a try.

Ritika - posted on 01/01/2010

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Well my son was like that and getting up few times at night but then someone told us to give him old school gripe water ( with alcohol) in it. I start giving him every night and he is sleeping through the night. I stopped giving him to see if he wakes up at night. He was sleeping through the night and might get up once in a while. Also give them bath and then warm milk before bed it helps too. I hope it helps.

Deana - posted on 01/01/2010

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I feel your pain! My son is 14 months old, and still wakes up a couple of times a night! Usually it's because he is wet and will go back to sleep right away, but there are some nights where he is awake for awhile. I am not used to this, my daughter slept through the night at 8 months old, so this really gets to me. I am hoping this is just a phase and will be over soon. Good luck!

Amanda - posted on 01/01/2010

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It is very difficult and tiring I know. Iris is 14 mths old and prob wakes 2/3 times in the night. I am still breastfeeding and I just go and feed her to get her to sleep and then I can go back to bed. I think alot of it is just down to those pesky teeth and they need a bit more comfort. When she was waking lots thro the night I said to Hubby that I would feed her once in the night but he hed to settle her back to sleep if she woke at other times. I feed her at about 10pm ish and then about 2/3am ish but he settled her back to sleep at any other time she woke. This worked well but now hubby poorly and wont wake up (!) and if my older dtr wakes he sorts her out. Difficult to know what to do. Also Iris does eat well if she is not teething but she is quite small for her age and am wondering if she would put more weight on and maybe be fuller to sleep better if she had some formula so also in two minds whether to stop breastfeeding now and see if Iris will take more formula. I think if still breast feed as well as trying to get her to have more formula she will not have the bottle and just wait for the breast. Never know what to do for the best for everyone. Sorry not helping you much am I?! Good luck.

Victoria - posted on 01/01/2010

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She will get used to it.. When she does that let her be for a min and if she does not stop walk in the room pat her and tell her you are right here.. My doc told me not to remove the baby from the crib just stand with her.. Then walk away she may cry but she just wants to know you are there. This age they also go through seperation stage.. My daughter screams everytime I walk away..

[deleted account]

I just wanted to say that I'm in the same boat! My DD is 14 months old and still wakes several times a night. We bedshare and breastfeed, so it isn't a huge issue. However, I would still like to get better/uninterrupted sleep. Waking every two hours is wreaking havoc on my daytime functioning! I have arthritis in my back, and I'm in pain while nursing on my side. We started using Dr. Jay Gordon's method for nightweaning a few nights ago, and it seems to be working. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel! She can finally go back to sleep without nursing. He is a HUGE proponent of bedsharing and breastfeeding, and he doesn't believe that any baby should be subjected to sleep training. He doesn't recommend night weaning until AT LEAST 12 months of age. I am also a fan of the No Cry Sleep Solution (the author has similar views to Dr. Gordon).

Anyway, I don't know how much this helps the OP, but I hope those resources help someone who is reading through this thread!

Nicole - posted on 01/01/2010

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My 14 month old doesn't sleep well either... unless in bed with me... yep I said it. I don't think its an issue either. Every child is different. My first slept on his own thru the night at a month old, my second slept with me until she was 2 1/2 and then one day she slept on her own all night long. My third, the 14 month old is rocked to sleep, cuddled all night long and we all sleep happy. Every child is different... every mother is different but in the end ALL kids learn to sleep thru the night on their own... how many 30 year olds do you know that still can't sleep thru the night or sleep with their parents.

Gia - posted on 01/01/2010

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Im in the same situation. My 14 month has never slept through the night. He wakes up 2-3 on good nights and then if hes having a bad night I can forget it. I dont get any sleep. The responses I get from people are infuriating. Its normal. Let him cry it out. Im sorry I dont think it is normal and having to listen to your child cry their heart out is heart breaking for a mother. My boy does not sleep in a cot he sleeps on a mattress on the floor (Montessori style). So I dont think the bed matters. I am unfortunately 8 months pregnant on top of that, so if you ever get a solution I would love to hear it. I just thought instead of giving advice that does not work, I wanted to let you know you are not alone in frustration and sleep deprivation. Good luck!

Alison - posted on 01/01/2010

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Mine doesnt sleep well either. I eventually took the bars off one side of the cot. wedged it between my bed and the wall (its safe and well tested!!!!! like a side car arrangement) that way when she wakes she can just roll over to me feed and then roll back to her own space. Not for everyone i know, and i didnt think it would be for me. But this way we all get sleep, the other two childrens sleep isnt disturbed when she wakes and we are all a lot happier for it. I am functioning better having had sleep and my days are a
pleasure again, instead of a tired grumpy haze!! Ive had many negative comments from friends and family about this arrangement, ive been hassled about my extended breast feeding (shes 14 months for crying out loud!!) etc etc.... Maybe this would be something to try?? Good luck, i know only too well the frustration of a waking baby!

Theresa - posted on 12/31/2009

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Quoting Shannon:



Quoting Lesley:




Quoting Shannon:

Sounds like she has the power. She does it because she knows you'll come running. Have you tried letting her cry it out? I did it with my son at 6 months and it worked like a charm. It sucked the first night but he slept through the night after that.








I'm sorry, but this kind of response really angers me.  I have heard this time and time again from my MIL and I am so sick of it!  Babies don't have the power - absolute rubbish!








Not ALL babies are capable of sleeping through the night believe it or not.  And not all parents are fans of CIO - I for one am not.  My daughter wakes up 2 or 3 times a night - doesn't cry - just wakes up and will start babbling.  I can leave her but she'll never go back to sleep.  So I take her with me and she goes back to sleep.  She was an exclusively breastfed baby and she is still breastfeeding 14 months later.








CIO is something I refused to let my daughter go through.  I am not unhappy with our sleeping arrangements, it does not upset me, it does not interfere with my daily functioning, my daughter is happy, healthy and thriving. 








You happen to have a baby that was able to put himself to sleep without problems and you are lucky in a sense.  You have undisturbed sleep.  Good for you.  But not all of us have this type of child so please don't make it seem like we are weak.








I on the other hand think I am blessed - I have 14 months of close bonding with my daughter.  She goes to sleep seeing mum and she wakes up with mum.  I have months of cuddling at night with her - something a lot of mum's can not say they have.  She will sleep on her own, by herself when we are both ready.



I just have to say this is the best response  I have read . I to have a 14 month old daughter that is still breast feed .She wakes up a couple of times during the night some nights she sleeps right through but I wouldnt trade the bond and closeness we have for anything.This CIO stuff I wouldnt put my daughter through that torture .People need to stop listening to these new and improved ways of parenting and go back to the "old school "ways ,maybe our children would grow up to be responsible ,caring ,loving individuals .





I was replying to Courtney's request for suggestions on how to get her daughter to sleep through the night. CIO worked for me. I did it as a last resort because I was not happy and the lack of sleep was interfering with my daily functioning. It was hard in the beginnning but he learned how to soothe himself back to sleep and now if he wakes up early he plays by himself quietly. I wasn't trying to offend, just sharing what worked for me.





 

Sue - posted on 12/31/2009

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I agree with you about sleeping with your child. My daughter is 14 months old and she just went to her crib. Most nights she sleeps all night. I think that they are more secure and sleep better.

Esmerala - posted on 12/30/2009

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hi my son is 1 year and 2 months and i havent had any problem with his sleeping. he has been sleeping though the night since he was about 11 months. Does she eat food? try to give her food when she wants it. and espacially when its getting close togo to sleep give her a meal at least 1 hour before bed time and see if she will sleep better at night. good luck.

Rebecca - posted on 12/30/2009

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I think it's perfectly normal for your baby to still be waking up at night, especially if you are breastfeeding. My 15mo son wakes to nurse about 4-5x a night. We bedshare so I just have to roll over and can go right back to sleep after a minute or two, no crying. My son goes to bed at 7pm and wakes up at 7am. We practice attachment parenting, ferber is crazy in my opinion. I think parents today put to much focus on sleeping through the night, I don't necessarily think its normal for a baby to sleep like an adult does. I get plenty of sleep and never feel sleep deprived even with the night wakings.

Jessica - posted on 12/30/2009

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By the way, I don't let her cry for hours.....that make babies blood pressure rise up very high. 10 or 15 minutes....sealed with a kiss, then again and again if needed.

Jessica - posted on 12/30/2009

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This may be hard to do, but it works. My daughter did the same thing. I was told that she does it because I always go pick her up and give her a bottle/sippy cup. I was told not to do that anymore. She knows that she is getting a reaction from you. I started by giving her her cup and a kiss and saying nite nite. It took maybe two days of this, and now if she wakes up I just do that and she lays back down. It tore my heart out with the shaking of the crib and crying for mommy, but I guess I understand why she did it since I was picking her up every time she did throw a fit. The only thing to remember is to take the cup out of the crib when she goes back to sleep so that she isn't drinking anything spoiled. I don't give my 14 month old juice because it is horrible for their teeth, so I always have to give her the milk. She doesn't want anything else either. It went down from waking up 3 or 4 times to 2 times and so on. Now I have gotten a couple of weeks of all night long sleep! I had to do the same thing with my first child and it does work....it just pulls at your heart strings. Good luck.....if you try it, let me know how it works out!

Heather - posted on 12/30/2009

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Was she sleeping with you? My son is 14 months old and still wakes 2-3 times a night but he doesn't eat much food somedays so he's waking for a bottle. Does she nurse or anything? Cio isn't for me plus my 5 1/2 yr old and my 14 month old share a room so i couldn't do it. Its possible she's starting to go through the phase.. of seperation anixety. my oldest hit it right around 15 months and my youngest has been really super clinging to me and freaks anytime i leave his view. If he doesn't seem me he screams.. So needless to say i have it pretty rough.. I hope she starts sleeping through the night soon as well as i hope my son does too.

Cinda - posted on 12/29/2009

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Yes, mothers. You do have to start setting boundaries even as early as 14 months. You are not being cruel by doing this. All of my children have been breastfed. I rocked my oldest to sleep until he was three. At three months, my pediatrician (and other sources) told me that he no longer nutritionally needed night feedings. My husband spent several weeks getting up in the night and patting his back and standing next to the crib, but we didn't give up and eventually, the little one figured it out. Currently, I have a 14 month old premie boy. I make sure to give him plenty of snuggle time during the day and just before bedtime. The bedtime routine is always the same. He gets the attention. No television. Will this solve the waking up all at once? No. But, you will both enjoy the time together and it will help with the separation anxiety. It requires consistency, and yes, you will be tired.
I am sad to see how many of the mothers here are allowing their babies to sleep in the same bed with them. Though it seems to be working for now, you are setting a habit that will be much harder to break the older that they get. I hope the best for each of you.

Amanda - posted on 12/29/2009

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frequent night waking can be caused by a magnesium deficiency. i recently started giving my daughter some crushed up with her food and she slept thru the night for the first time!!! she is 14 months...you could try it!

Amilia - posted on 12/28/2009

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I have 14 month old twins a boy & a girl. Completely two situations I deal with at night. My son still wakes up 2, 3 times for a bottle, even though I feed him cereal half hour before he sleeps. His time is like clock work every night. He throws the tantrums and screams! I try to get before the fit starts give him milk and put him right back to sleep! My daughter falls asleep later than he but sleeps through the night, but lately she also has been cryin. I was told that once they have all their teeth they will sleep better at night. I try to keep them both on the same sleep time, also I cut from 2 naps a day to 1. I never did the CIO really so no reason yet to! I know it does work! The one main thing I never taught them is to sleep in my bed. Yes we are all sleep deprived but that is being a parent. It will pass! The one thing I was always told by my mom is no matter how old your child you will never sleep the same again!!! The best I do is when they nap at noon, so do I!

[deleted account]

Is the crib right beside your bed? maybe try that, so you can just comfort baby when she wakes. Ours just sleeps with us, it's much easier for us, and when she wakes I try to just cuddle her back to sleep, it usually works, but if she's really up, then I can feed her. For me the key was, how can I give her what she needs without losing all MY sleep. but definitely try to make sure she eats and drinks a ton during the day, if their bellies are full they sleep longer.

Tamara - posted on 12/19/2009

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There are so many different babies, so many different ways and everyone leads a different life. Our oldest is 18 years old and our youngest is 14 months old. The 14 month old was still getting up for feedings just over a month ago and then didn't really need the feeding so decided to sleep through the night. It's your baby and nobody knows the baby and their particular rhythms better than the parent, the one living in the middle of it. Don't sweat it too early, there are many other challenges you will encounter over the next 18+ years. Our oldest called a meeting with the Principal at her school in grade 1 to complain about her teacher. Now that meeting was uncomfortable and we wished the infancy issues weren't in the rear view mirror :)

Annette - posted on 12/17/2009

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im on the same boat as you..so sorry i know your pain. we started to let her cry it out because there is nothing left for us to do....hope you can find the answers your looking for :-) sorry im no help

Michelle - posted on 12/16/2009

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My 14 month old just started sleeping through the night a couple of weeks ago. She was waking up 3-4 times and not going back to sleep after 15-20 minutes of screaming, so we would get up to comfort her and give her a bottle. One particularly bad night, my husband and I just decided not to go into her room. She cried for about 2 hours straight in various degrees of temper tantrum, and we were in utter misery. But it actually worked! We had been resisting the idea of ignoring her for very long...what if she hyperventilated or gave herself an aneurysm with all that screaming??? I suppose that's first-time parent paranoia. I'm glad we finally went against our parental instincts. It really did pay off! She wakes up occasionally now, but cries herself back to sleep in minutes. I completely understand and sympathize with your situation :)

Cortney - posted on 12/12/2009

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Quoting Lesley:



Quoting Shannon:

Sounds like she has the power. She does it because she knows you'll come running. Have you tried letting her cry it out? I did it with my son at 6 months and it worked like a charm. It sucked the first night but he slept through the night after that.






I'm sorry, but this kind of response really angers me.  I have heard this time and time again from my MIL and I am so sick of it!  Babies don't have the power - absolute rubbish!






Not ALL babies are capable of sleeping through the night believe it or not.  And not all parents are fans of CIO - I for one am not.  My daughter wakes up 2 or 3 times a night - doesn't cry - just wakes up and will start babbling.  I can leave her but she'll never go back to sleep.  So I take her with me and she goes back to sleep.  She was an exclusively breastfed baby and she is still breastfeeding 14 months later.






CIO is something I refused to let my daughter go through.  I am not unhappy with our sleeping arrangements, it does not upset me, it does not interfere with my daily functioning, my daughter is happy, healthy and thriving. 






You happen to have a baby that was able to put himself to sleep without problems and you are lucky in a sense.  You have undisturbed sleep.  Good for you.  But not all of us have this type of child so please don't make it seem like we are weak.






I on the other hand think I am blessed - I have 14 months of close bonding with my daughter.  She goes to sleep seeing mum and she wakes up with mum.  I have months of cuddling at night with her - something a lot of mum's can not say they have.  She will sleep on her own, by herself when we are both ready.





I agree, I have let my daughter cry out, I dont give up that easily and go running. But that has never worked for her. She just gets more upset and screams louder. Id rather go help her back to sleep then listen to her cry.  My daughter slept with me untill she was 5 months old. Then I put her in her own bed. I can put her up there at bed time and she will fall right asleep on her own. She will sleep for a while, then a few hours later she will wake up , then she wakes every 2 hours after that.  Ive been told by a few people who have looked after her that she might be hyperactive, and her brian just has a harder time slowing down at night. Which I do see a little hyperness in her, but shes 1, she just likes to play. She hit most of her milestones quite early. She was walking before she was 10 months. . I dont have that big of a problem with her waking up during the night, but if she slept through we would both get a better nights sleep. All I wanted was some suggestions, not for people to throw out accusations about me and my child. And thank you to everyone who understands, and your right she will sleep when shes ready to!

Dianne - posted on 12/09/2009

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I have learnt after 3 kids that you will constantly be defending your choices to other people...I was actually criticized for breastfeeding my first child (in this day and age!), and have made the un-popular choice to not vaccinate. I have given up defending myself...I am comfortable with my own decisions and am at peace with myself (knowing, of course, that I will make wrong ones!). If what you are doing works for you, great!

Dianne - posted on 12/07/2009

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Lesley, you sound a bit defensive...are you getting alot of flack for sleeping with your baby? I did the same thing with my first daughter and finally let her CIO at 14 months because she was not showing any signs of sleeping through the night without interference...if you can go years without sleeping through the night, good for you...hope you don't plan on having other children anytime soon!

Shannon, I agree with you...my 13 mth old is my third child and I did the Sleep Sense Program (similar to Ferber method) at 6 months and it worked like a charm. We have had a few little blips (ie teething!) but otherwise, mommy and baby are getting a great night's sleep and are much happier and well-adjusted for it!

[deleted account]

Quoting Lesley:



Quoting Shannon:

Sounds like she has the power. She does it because she knows you'll come running. Have you tried letting her cry it out? I did it with my son at 6 months and it worked like a charm. It sucked the first night but he slept through the night after that.






I'm sorry, but this kind of response really angers me.  I have heard this time and time again from my MIL and I am so sick of it!  Babies don't have the power - absolute rubbish!






Not ALL babies are capable of sleeping through the night believe it or not.  And not all parents are fans of CIO - I for one am not.  My daughter wakes up 2 or 3 times a night - doesn't cry - just wakes up and will start babbling.  I can leave her but she'll never go back to sleep.  So I take her with me and she goes back to sleep.  She was an exclusively breastfed baby and she is still breastfeeding 14 months later.






CIO is something I refused to let my daughter go through.  I am not unhappy with our sleeping arrangements, it does not upset me, it does not interfere with my daily functioning, my daughter is happy, healthy and thriving. 






You happen to have a baby that was able to put himself to sleep without problems and you are lucky in a sense.  You have undisturbed sleep.  Good for you.  But not all of us have this type of child so please don't make it seem like we are weak.






I on the other hand think I am blessed - I have 14 months of close bonding with my daughter.  She goes to sleep seeing mum and she wakes up with mum.  I have months of cuddling at night with her - something a lot of mum's can not say they have.  She will sleep on her own, by herself when we are both ready.





I was replying to Courtney's request for suggestions on how to get her daughter to sleep through the night. CIO worked for me. I did it as a last resort because I was not happy and the lack of sleep was interfering with my daily functioning. It was hard in the beginnning but he learned how to soothe himself back to sleep and now if he wakes up early he plays by himself quietly. I wasn't trying to offend, just sharing what worked for me.

Julie - posted on 12/05/2009

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If i let my 14 mth cry it out, she'd wake my other 2 children who are 13 and 9, they both need their sleep as have school the next day. A bottle of warm milk acts as a comfort for my 14 mth old, and helps her drift back off to sleep. She's still young yet, and i'm happy to do this for her, although sometimes having to get up a couple times in the night can be a pain, but then thats what being a mum is all about.

[deleted account]

Sounds like she has the power. She does it because she knows you'll come running. Have you tried letting her cry it out? I did it with my son at 6 months and it worked like a charm. It sucked the first night but he slept through the night after that.

Julie - posted on 12/04/2009

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My daughter is 14 mths, and wakes up most nights, sometimes more than once, it's a pain at times, but i just usually give her a bottle of warm milk and she'll drift back off. But i dont take her out her cot, as soon as i hear her, i go and get her bottle. I have left her to cry before, just to see if she'll go back off on her own, but i have 2 other children at school age, so i cant leave the baby to cry for too long. My h/v says i'm making a rod for my own back, as my daughter will expect a bottle everytime now, but its better to give her that and knowing it soothes her, so she'll go back to sleep with no problems. Then i get a fairly decent nights sleep.

Julie - posted on 12/04/2009

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Courtney how is your daughter? My daughter did that until she was about 11 months old. Just try to get something in her belly before she goes to bed. We did that and now she finally sleeps through the night. Everyone once and a while she'll wake up in the middle of the night now but we just pop a binkie in her mouth and she's out again

Lesley - posted on 12/04/2009

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Wish I had an answer for you but my daughter wakes up often too!! I've been told they will stop suddenly one day - when that day is - I have no idea!!! Good luck to you! xox

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