Adoption: Then Keeping

[deleted account] ( 10 moms have responded )

I'm just wondering what other ladies think of women who give one child up for adoption because they don't feel they are in a position to care for them, but then turn around & get pregnant with a baby they plan to keep less than a year or so later?


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Ashley - posted on 03/03/2010




You simply don't know their situation, so I don't think it's appropriate to judge. She might have been raped, or in an abusive relationship. And, birth control FAILS. I got pregnant while on the pill and while using a condom. And my current pregnancy happened while on the pill.

Lyndsay - posted on 03/03/2010




Initially I would think that if they weren't fit to be a parent before, what makes them think they would be so soon after? But you never know, situations change.

Mary - posted on 03/03/2010




Well, what I would really want to know is why the hell she hasn't figured out a better means of birth contol.... could also be that she was left with such an aching hole from giving up that first child, that she either intentionally got pregnant, or, if unplanned, simply could not bear to do it again. I really think this is one of those topics where all of the details would need to be presented before I could really develop any true opinion. I think giving a child up for adoption is an incredibly difficult thing to do...a selfless act of true love for that baby. I also think that most NORMAL people could not do that more than once.

Amber - posted on 03/03/2010




i believe that there are a few situations out there that i wouldnt be quick to judge, but sadly most of the women I know "like" that just need slaped. Most of them have lost their children to CPS and then think that it is ok to have another one.. and no nothing has changed.. dont they get it they were proven unfit parents once already what do we have to do to get them from fucking up another inocent babies life. Not to mention most of the women are involved with drugs durring and after pregnancy...

So MOST of the time in my eyes women who give there baby up or have it taken away should not be able to have another child until they can prove that they have changed the situation in which lead them to make they choices they did in the first place..

[deleted account]

I think it is inappropriate. If that child were to find out that you kept little brother or sister just one year later they would wonder what was wrong with them for a long time...and a lot of people do look for/find bio parents.

Sara - posted on 03/01/2010




You can't know all that goes into making a choice like that. I can't imagine any woman who would make that choice lightly or with a flippant attitude.

I did hear something the other day that got me thinking, about a woman who gave up her 16 month old son because she couldn't afford to take care of him properly. My daughter is 16 months old, I can't imagine doing that...broke my heart for her.

Sunshine - posted on 03/01/2010




I think its their biz.. I dont judge people on the actions they make..
I may not agree with it but i wouldn't want people to judge me:(

Amy - posted on 03/01/2010




depends on the situation. i know a gal who was raped and gave it up because she didn't want to look at the child with contempt every time and accidentally misplace feelings of it onto the child. she thought the baby deserved better. i know another who wasn't married to the man and he said he'd hurt the baby if she kept it so she gave it up. but within a year? to find another guy and then get pregnant and keep? i don't know. i don't get it. i think it just depends on the background story. either they're heartless wenches or trying to do the best thing.

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