birthmarks on babies

Amy - posted on 03/03/2010 ( 18 moms have responded )

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Keep it, get rid of it, or wait and let them choose?

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Amy - posted on 03/04/2010

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my daughter has a homangeoma birthmark - was BRIGHT pink and puffy and on her temple by her eye. but i researched what it was and docs also said it would get puffy, big and red then slowly fade and flatten out by the time she was in school. for the first year of her life, it was awful because of the looks and comments we got. "it's going to blind her, just think of schooltime, i know a doc who can get rid of that..." we even went to urgent care once and the nurses asked what she did to her face! not here for that, thank you. lol. i thought about taking it off, but one mother changed my mind. her little boy asked what that was on her face and she told him very special children get kissed by angels and it leaves a mark. i was so touched i kept it. was going to let daughter choose when she got older, but it is so faded it only shows a bit when she gets angry or cries. it's kinda cute to us. if it would have been impairing her vision, i'd have gotten rid of it asap. as for kids making fun - kids will find SOME reason to make fun of each other. at least if she knows it'll be mostly about a birthmark, she'll have ways to hush them.

Sharon - posted on 03/03/2010

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My daughters' birthmark is on the nape of her neck... not an issue.

Both of my sons got small cafe au lait marks like my brother & I do. They aren't obvious or large. So I'm not bothered.

But if my child had been born with an overwhelmingly large facial port wine stain - I'd do everything I could to have it lessened/removed.

People want to be above it all, be superior by not caring but it doesn't work that way in the real world. Jobs are impacted by your looks. I suppose a job as a 1-900 operator isn't impacted but really? just how many phone sex people do we need anyway?

I have never seen anyone with a large facial birthmark working in any position of importance... I know why too.. when I was in highschool - a girl had a nasty port wine stain on her face. She wore her hair long to cover it, always kept her face turned away from people.. I never heard anyone tease her, people went out of their way (I thought) to be polite to her. But she didn't have many friends anyway. Anyway she was into hardcore deathmetal stuff and I was into um, other stuff, so we didn't hang out, but we were paired up for debate class.

Her parents did the same thing, "you're beautiful the way you are" "you are what you make yourself" blah blah blah - its true, its all true, until you are away from your parents and the cruelty sets in. It sucks. It really fucking sucks. But that is the way it is. This girl was on the verge of killing herself because of that birthmark, and frankly = I didn't think it was that bad. It was off to the side sort of, and make up lightened the portion that edged into the forward portion of her face. But the damage was done before.

Her brother was pretty certain she would kill herself before she was 20. I liked her, we had fun chatting in class..

But I think most or all of these "kids" have the marks removed as soon as they can.

I would have it done as soon as possible. Adversity is adversity - mean and cruel remarks from other kids or painful surgery? Frankly I think kids bounce back better from physical issues than they do mental.

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Amanda - posted on 03/11/2010

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It would depend on a few things... will it fade and go away on it's own, is it interferring with anything else? ect. If it was large and on my child's face and wouldn't go away on it's own, then I would look into having it removed and make the decision based on the risks a procedure like that would have.

My son has a large birthmark on his back. It looks like a bruise, and I at first thought that one of the nurses in the NICU had bruised him. I was FURIOUS! Within a few days we realized it was in fact a birthmark. (Talk about humble pie!) Anyway, I won't have this removed, as it is hidden by his shirts, and I doubt whether it will bother him in the future. If it does, we can talk about it then. As it stands, I have a feeling it will blend very nicely with a tan come summer time, so I think that we have better options than removing it.

Johnny - posted on 03/10/2010

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It depends on where the birthmark was, aside from the face, I would not consider having it removed, but if it was on the face I would seriously consider it. My neighbors youngest daughter had a form of a birth mark that looks like a port wine stain (but isn't, it has some technical name I can not remember) on the tip of her nose. When she was young, people stared, gawked, and gave their sympathies to her parents. By the time she was 3, other kids had started to call her Rudolph. She was a miserable kid, with few friends, and could never go anywhere without everyone commenting on her nose. We may wish that people would see beyond surface appearance, but the plain truth of the real world is, they do not. Everyone mentioned it to them all the time. And if they didn't, they just stared. By the time she was 7 she was in counseling and seriously depressed. Her parents took her to a special Shriner's hospital in LA to have it removed because there is no expert on this problem here in Canada. She now has a nose with no tip, but she is 15 years old and quite happy. After the birthmark was removed, her parents transferred her to a new school so that she could start fresh. I'd hate to think of what a mess she'd be now if they'd left it. No amount of "instilling self-esteem" in your child can get them around that kind of harassment and indignity from others. The world is often pretty nasty, and I would want to protect my child from that type of misery if I could.

Brandi - posted on 03/10/2010

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My daughter has what they call a congenital nevus. It's a very large mole on her head that is flat, but has a thick patch of hair growing from it. It's actually pretty cute. She has a pretty patch of hair on her head.

It still worries me though because it carries the risk of developing into melanoma later in life. I was referred to a dermatologist at Children's Hospital for it and I'm hoping if it has to be removed, it can be removed without causing her any problems.

Melissa - posted on 03/10/2010

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My son has a homangeoma birthmark on his head well hidden in his hair. My daughter on the other hand was born with a Intramuscular Lipoma and also a Subcutaneous Lipmoa.
For my son we left it alone as it did not bother any thing. he is almost 12 now and it is still there but slowly getting smaller. As for Hunter ( my daughter ) at 15 months of age she had surgery to help figure out exactly what she had because none of the test that the docs did could tell ( she had a MRI and a ct scan at 7 months ) it wasnt until after her op.that we knew what she had and how to deal with it . When she is 3-4 years of age she will have to go for more testing to make sure that nothing has changed internally with the Lipomas after that she will be booked in for Liposuction to help at least even it out. And please before I get bashed for taking my daughter in for Lipo understand that her birthmarks are right in the middle of her forehead and very visible. I have been ask if she has fallen or (the one that just pisses me right off ) why I had beaten my baby! I don't want My little girl going to school and being told that she is a freak or being treated different By her teachers....

Amber - posted on 03/04/2010

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if it wasn't noticable then I would leave it alone, but if you can see it, and it is drawing attention then I would. Kids is school are little demons. I hate to say it, but its true. I know one day my little guy will be in school and may partake in "bulling" but i hope not. But anyway, other then having children who would make fun of them all through school, they would have first impressions everywhere. They would have to deal with this in the job force, in the community, just about everywhere they had to go, and if I could stop all of the extra negative attention just by removing a mark, then I would.

Lady - posted on 03/04/2010

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My daughter had a very large bumpy strawberry birthmark on the top of her right arm when she was born - she's 9 now and it's faded so much you can hardly see it and it's completley flattened out. As it was only on her arm I would never have concidered removing it unless it was medically needed. I have a brown birthmafk in almost the same spot and have been asked about it my whole life. If it had been on her face I would have had it removed maybe not right away but before she was old enough to really be aware of people reactions, children have a hard enough time growing up, even though my oldest daughter quite likes to be unique and different and stand out from her friends I think even she would have had a hard time coping with that difference.

Charlene - posted on 03/03/2010

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Jodi's right.. Children ARE far less judgemental.

My cousin had a tiny, very pale pink mark on her lip the night she was born that rapidly grew into a very large strawberry birthmark. It soon became so large, so painful that she couldn't drink her bottles. The doctors tried to shrink it with steroids and it worked, but it also stunted her growth. The steroids helped enough so that she could at least drink her bottle without pain until they were able to surgically reduce it. They did reduce it, but it was still quite large and a very bright red. As a toddler, other kids would ask her how she got her owie, which didn't bother her at all. It was the adults that made her feel self concious. They would gawk, point, make faces and rude comments to the people they were with, loud enough for everyone to hear. When she was 5 or 6 she asked my aunt and uncle if she could have it removed. She had it done and bounced back quickly. Now if you hadn't seen her before the surgery, you wouldn't be able to tell she had it unless you were nose to nose with her.



Now, my daughter has a large strawberry birthmark on her right shoulder. It's not painful and it's easily covered by shirts, so I don't see a need to get it removed. We are watching it though, just to make sure nothing happens to make it painful. If she decides she wants it removed, I'll let her get it done.



Oh and I also know a woman with a large port wine stain on her cheek. She's an incredibly beautiful woman (inside and out) and she's also a teacher. She started out as the resource teacher and now has her own grade 5 class. :)

Jocelyn - posted on 03/03/2010

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If it was on their face, and huge, then I would probably get rid of it. If it was on their face, and smaller, then I would just wait for them to choose (because make up can work wonders lol) If it was anywhere else, I would just wait. I had a huge birthmark on my thigh removed when I was in junior high, I was so self conscious about it I never wore shorts :S

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FYI Sharon, I do know someone with a port wine stain birthmark covering the majority of her face. She taught school for years before becoming the school's curriculum instructor which is a pretty important job.

Rosie - posted on 03/03/2010

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there are some that can completely engorge your face, when just days earlier it was just a little spot. obviously i would remove that one. for others that are just cosmetic, and you can actually remove them (my youngest has a bright red spot between his eyes on his forehead, a little on his nose, and under his nose) i would say wait until they say they wanted it removed later.

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I think I would leave it and let them choose to remove it later if they want. I coached a girl that had a birthmark that covered her lower jaw and part of her neck on one side of her face. The first time I saw her I noticed it, but then it never crossed my mind again. It didn't seem to bother her either.

April - posted on 03/03/2010

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i agree with melissa. however, if my child wanted to have it removed later for cosmetic reasons, i would allow it (but i would take age into consideration and how deformed it made him, i.e if it was more than a small speck)

Melissa - posted on 03/03/2010

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The only reason I would remove my baby's birthmark would be if it impacted his/her health.

Jodi - posted on 03/03/2010

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My daughter's best friend has a birthmark on her face. Her mother decided NOT to have it removed because of how stressful the procedure itself would have been to her. Instead, she is raising her kids with wonderful self esteem, and is focusing more on the inner beauty than outer beauty. And she is an absolutely lovely child - she is welcome in our home anytime. She and my daughter are thick as thieves, because neither of them care what they look like.



Now, admittedly, they are only 5. Children are FAR less judgemental at that age. But we have talked about it, and her mum has decided that if later in life, it is bothering her daughter to a great degree, she will provide her with the understanding of what is involved in the surgery, and let her make the decision herself. Who knows, maybe it won't be an issue for her. Maybe it will. But it is then, at least, her choice.

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