Covering up?

Clarissa - posted on 12/18/2010 ( 59 moms have responded )

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Going to be a weird topic, but is it appropiate to let your children see you naked? or what age do they understand exactly what they are seeing? and can it confuse them or be harmful to them?

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[deleted account]

I don't see any reason it would not be okay for a 12 year old to walk in on her dad. What would happen? According to most of the mom's on here most 12 year olds are having sex, so they aren't seeing anything they haven't before.



Also, they learn that boys and girls are different all through school. I think being exposed to those differences would make them less curious when they reach the stage where they begin to formulate more serious questions about sex. A lot of uninformed kids decide to find answers to their questions about sex by trying it. Yes, that is stupid. But if it is taboo in their home, well, that's the best way to get answers.



Obviously, there have to be boundaries. Kids must know that only mom & dad, and perhaps doctors, can see those places, but I don't think it is necessary to hide them like they are something to be ashamed of in order to teach that modesty.



EDIT: There were posts while I was typing, so I wanted to add that if a kid is uncomfortable with the nudity then, obviously, the parent should cover up. But they should also ask why the kid is uncomfortable.

Minnie - posted on 12/18/2010

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If it's weird for your family then don't do it. That's all I meant by my post. If the child doesn't like it then knock on bathroom doors before entering, or sit down and say "dad, could you try to cover up more?"

Nicole - posted on 01/20/2011

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Pshhhh... The reason my kids see my naked is because they give me NO privacy. LOL I can't even get 5 minutes to crap. I won't be forcing them to see me naked. Ever. But as long as they are not bothered, I am not bothered. I am not naked a lot, but when I am, I don't feel the need to shield myself from my children since it is so apparent that they couldn't care less about my nudity.

Jodi - posted on 12/18/2010

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Ditto what Lisa said. My older boys don't see me naked (they are 13 and 11), unless by accident, but no-one has ever made a big deal about it. My daughter is 5 and still frequently sees either myself or her daddy naked. She likes to sit on the toilet in our bathroom and talk to us while we shower. No big deal for us. None of them have fainted and gone into a coma :P

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Kathy - posted on 08/26/2011

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I wanted to relay something my husband told me about his upbringing. He grew up in a household that was very casual about clothing especially in the summer.

He has 2 older sisters, and both parents. They weren't nudists buy any stretch but not shy either. So growing up he got to see a lot of his older sister. About the time he was a teenager and all his friends were sneaking their dad's porn magazines and giggling any time they saw a flash of boobs on cinemax he was rather blase about it. He had a whats the big deal attitude about nudity. When we met and started dating his attitude about my body was so different from what most boys i had dated were like I knew I had met the right guy.

My point is the more you make something taboo and off limits the more you seem to want it.

Mary Renee - posted on 04/19/2011

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Oh yeah, and twice I remember my dad "mooning" us (and everybody on the boardwalk!) at the beach because he thought it was funny. He was right it was pretty funny and my aunt and I just about died laughing.

Mary1959 - posted on 04/18/2011

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my son is 9 he see me i see him nude
my daughter is 10 she see her dad , he see her
we do not think nothing of it

Mary Renee - posted on 04/18/2011

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I bathe with my daughter and think nothing of it (saves a boatload of time!) but her father spazes out if she sees his member.

I honestly don't think it's weird. But I do remember my dad coming downstairs to get a late night snack in his tighty whitey's once as a teenager when I didn't get home till past curfew. Was it intentional to punish me? I don't know. But hey, it's HIS house, he has the right.

That said, I think the "standard" would probably be that it doesn't matter if you see your same-sex parents naked. But if your opposite sex child is school-aged you probably want put off the nudity till they're out of the house.

But then again (I'm rambling) I don't think it's a big deal to see your mom naked. I mean, basically you came out of your mom's vagina. Everybody came out of their mom's vagina. And they were fed by her breast. Therefore I just don't think it's that weird to see your mother naked. Her body produced you and cared for you. It's not shameful, it productive and amazing. I always thought it was more weird to see your dad naked and I honestly never have (aside from the tighty-whitey episode, in which I still didn't see anything)

Mary1959 - posted on 04/18/2011

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what is the word privacy. we never have it in our house either
b8g9 . no one lock any door . so it normal for some one to walk in

Krista - posted on 01/26/2011

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Yikes.

Well, I'm glad that worked well for your family, Sherri.

I love my dad, but the thought of seeing him starkers is just about enough to induce PTSD.

Wendy - posted on 01/26/2011

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my dad used too dress and go to the bathroom in front of me until i was about 4 or 5.He didnt mean any harm by it, but I STILL remember it and Im 29 yrs. old and I WISH I DIDNT, cause its gross!! lol but not grossed out by my mom, so dads in front of daughters after age 3, I'd say NO dont do it, its not a pleasant childhood memory.

Nicole - posted on 01/26/2011

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Like I said, my kids are obviously not bothered by my nudity since they don't shy away from coming in the bathroom or my bedroom when I am naked. The same with their dad. I truly think that it's the parents that can make nudity a big deal for their kids. My brother and I saw my mom naked many times. She didn't make an effort for us to see her naked, she just didn't hide herself from us. We never thought anything of it. My dad on the other hand, was very guarded about his naked body and so anytime I did accidentally see him naked, it was very awkward and I was very embarrassed. And that was just because his feelings rubbed off on me. I really wish that he wouldn't have felt that way because the VERY few times I did see him naked, I was curious. He looked different than my brother (whom was younger than me, so I seen him naked more times than I can count) and I didn't want to embarrass him by asking questions. Well, he looked different than my brother for 2 reasons, 1) he was a mature man and my brother was not and 2) he was not cirq'd and my brother was cirq'd. It took me a long time to finally ask my mom about it and she was very open and forthcoming. My dad and her are polar opposites when it comes to personalities. LOL Anyway, I am just trying to say that I wouldn't have thought ANYTHING about my dad's penis had he not been so scared about me seeing him naked, but because he made a big deal about shielding himself, I had tons of questions.

I think it helps, in the end, for bigger reasons: My mom was the way she was about nudity because she was raised the same way she raised us and when my grandmother became terminally ill, instead of putting her in a nursing home, my mom and aunts would take shifts caring for her at her home. My mom would spend two days, then one of my aunts would spend the next two, another would take the next two and so on. Anyway, my point before I digress too far, even though a nurse come out and took care of the medical needs for my bed-ridden grandmother, my mom and her sisters had to change her bedding, bathe her, and clean every part of her body so that she didn't get bedsores. Had my mom and aunts not seen their mother naked a lot throughout their life, it would have made caring for her even more difficult. Having her daughters be able to do that for her saved her some dignity in her last few months. I am glad that my mother raised me the same way, because should the same happen with her, I know I could do that without feeling awkward. My dad, on the other hand, would be a different story.

Merry - posted on 01/26/2011

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Some teenagers are raised to honestly think nothing of it.
If it's never made into anything more then body parts, then to those teenagers seeing moms breasts are no more weird then seeing her belly button. Or seeing dads penis is no more strange then seeing his chest hair.
And pubic hair is no more uncomfortable then seeing leg hair.
It's all in how they perceive it. Cultures where nudity is more dominant raises kids who see a breast and think nothing of it. They see butts and don't even care.
It's just how they are taught.
So if seeing mom naked it a normal and casual part of the morning routine, a kid won't likely be uncomfortable with it until someone tells them it is 'wrong' like a friend or something.

Jackie - posted on 01/26/2011

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I agree if anyone is uncomfortable with it it shouldnt' happen...but I also think at the older ages it's inappropriate regardless. Most adolescents aren't goign to be ok with saying "I'd rather not see you naked mom/dad" so they just won't say anything, but as others have said "who does want to see that".

Christina - posted on 01/24/2011

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My 10yr old still sees me naked. He just walks in on me while I'm in the bathroom or getting dressed. I want my children to have a healthy respect for nudity. It is just a human body, and it is nothing to be ashamed of. (Can you tell I'm a nurse?) Kids usually have an issue with nudity because their parents make it that way. When parents jump to cover up when their young children walk into the room, of course the kids are going to copy that behavior. As long as everyone is comfortable, kids and parents, with nudity, then it should be allowed. Once someone feels uncomfortable, it should stop.

Sandy - posted on 01/24/2011

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My daughter is 19 months and my son is 3 1/2. Both have seen me naked recently. I try not to as much in front of my son because he's obsessed with learning about the body right now and with the fact that we look different. My husband is pretty shy so about faints when the kids almost see him headed for the shower. I find the less awkward I make it, the easier it is. I always figured when the kids are old enough to tell the difference it was time to stop seeing the opposite gender naked.

Considering I am lucky to get 5 minutes to myself to go to the bathroom though, this is easier said than done some days.

[deleted account]

Laura, I was surprised when my son first asked me about mine too. I was in the bath and hubby was supposed to be watching him (I was sick w/ laryngitis and just wanted a hot bath all to myself). Well, about 5 minutes into my bath, in walks J and peers into the bath (I used salts that night, so there were no bubbles and he could see it all).
"Was 'at?" he asked (What's that) as he pointed. Like you, I was surprised and a little off guard. Before I found my words he put 2 & 2 together and realized it was the same place his "peepee" was. "Is 'at your peepee, mommy?"
Relieved, I replied that is was, only to watch his previously curious, but calm expression turn to a dark worry. "You lost your peepee, mommy?" I mean he really looked scared!
Again, speechless--It didn't help that I could barely speak at all due to the laryngitis. I tried to formulate my words, but just before I began to speak the worry left him and he announced "Don't worry, Mommy! I help you find it! Probly (probably) fell off in here!" Then he spent the next 15 minutes searching our bathroom high & low for my peepee :P I could not speak loud enough to call my husband in, and it was keeping him occupied, but finally I had to tell him that mommy's peepee just looked different.

Merry - posted on 01/20/2011

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I was a bit surprised when my Eric (21months) pointed to my pubic hair and asked what it was! Now I know there's nothing wrong with the question, but my gut instinct was to be embarrassed. But I held it together and calmly answered it was hair. But little curiosity then decided to point a bit lower down and ask about the labia lips! Omg, well I was getting into the bath so it's all eyes level for him. But I just said vulva, he repeated it and continued to ask me what my knees were.
Well by then I was relieved, no he didn't have some weird interest in my private parts, he just was curious in general!
So I definitely have that instinct to be embarrassed, but I'm glad I was prepared with my answers cuz now he could care less! He got the answers he wanted so there's nothing weird in his mind about my body.

Merry - posted on 01/20/2011

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I'm a firm believer that it is ok for a child to see either parent naked, and to be naked in their parents presence up until the moment in which the child becomes uncomfortable with the nudity.
There should be open communication about all things with your kids, including body parts, and bodily functions. And when your child becomes uncomfortable with some type of nudity then you should respect that and not push them.
Age really isn't a factor, every child is different and the key is hearing them when they express discomfort.

Rebecca - posted on 01/20/2011

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i must have been misunderstood when i meantion traumatizing. i have seen my mother naked, and its nothing to me. i am not uncomfortable about it, and i don't feel she damaged me in any way. i think it would have been completely weird though, to see my dad walking around in the buff. i just really can't deature walking around nude in front of my son as a teen.

[deleted account]

I've seen both my parents naked at one point or another. Nope, didn't traumatize me. In fact, it made it much easier to help my mom in and out of the bath tub the night she broke her leg. I could focus on helping her instead of freaking out because she was naked. My daughter is 20 months and showers with me and sometimes my husband. If someone becomes uncomfortable then it will stop, but most likely it won't be an issue unless someone makes it an issue.

Jackie - posted on 01/20/2011

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I guess I'll have to be the one to go against the grain on this one. Allison is 23 months and sees me naked all the time but the BF is not comfortable with it at all so the most she sees is underoos on her Daddy.



I was raised in a household that you weren't supposed to see parents naked. I never really saw my Mom naked probably because she insecure herself and Dad, well, I'm glad I never saw him naked because I'm sure I would have a mental image burned into my brain.



If a child seeing his parents naked is somewhat uncomfortable, it's perfectly understandable. I don't understand how being uncomfortable with that would give them some kind of complex. And vise versa. I don't see how seeing your parents naked on a regular would benefit them either. I don't think if I would have seen my parents let it all hang out, I would have been any more or less comfortable with my own body or sexuality.



Ramble over

Danielle - posted on 01/20/2011

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My kids are 7(boy) and 4(girl). We put a stop to seeing the other parent nude when our daughter was two and took a shower with Daddy and almost got a lil tug happy mid shampoo. It embarressed him so bad that to this day if he needs to change the door is shut and locked lol. So now she ONLY sees me naked and my son ONLY sees my husband. Besides my husband being scarred for life I don't see a problem with it to a certain age..it's just not right for this family. As for our kids until recently my daughter didn't believe in clothes...it was nothing to come to my house this past summer and find her clothes strowed through the yard and her stark ass naked with a big grin on her face lol

Rebecca - posted on 01/19/2011

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i mean completely nude. i don't think im going to change my ways of walking to the laundry room in a bra and such, and i don't feel that i am going to freak out and not even walk around the house in a towel, but i would feel kinda strange with everyone walking around naked. expecially with how it is now. lol ( i think my husband is part nudist. when he's on days off, and he wakes up, he sees no point in getting dressed. he walks around all day stark naked. so when our son gets older, he said that he wants to at least incorporate undies into his daily wardrobe at home)

Rebecca - posted on 01/19/2011

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i walk around naked in front of my 10 month old, but i think i also will be the undies is the limit type of parent when he gets a little older. my husband has also decided that once our son becomes curious about body parts (trying to touch, ect.), then he will cover up as well. its kinda traumatizing to be a teen and see your parents in the buff everyday dont ya think?

Charlie - posted on 01/06/2011

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I still see my mum naked we will chat while she gets dressed and ready , doesn't bother me and I walk around naked in my house all the time , I believe the human body is the human body .

[deleted account]

I'm 37 and still see my parents naked when I visit them. We've never really changed room or closed doors just to get changed. More lazyness than anything else I guess, certainly nothing strange about it. My partner and I are the same around our 16 months old and I can't really see that changing in the future either. When my mom got changed in front of her, she pointed her breasts, shouted 'booooh' and started laughing her head off. Sooo cute! And definitely nothing wrong with it.

Jayde - posted on 12/30/2010

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Oh i agree with you teresa & it was cute & funny. I don't know why it felt a little weird it just did...

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Why would her being excited at the sight of her comfort objects weird you out? Just curious. I KNOW it's a body part, but you wouldn't be weirded out if she got excited over her favorite teddy bear or binky, so.....

Jayde - posted on 12/30/2010

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My daughter is 20months & i can't let her see me naked.
The last time i was getting ready for a shower, my husband was changing her & i quickly ran into her room to tell him something & as soon as she saw me she took a look at my breasts, got really excited with wide eyes, licked her lips & really quickly said "nigh nighs, nigh nighs" (she still gets bf at night before bed). I thought it was weird her being excited about my breasts as much as my husband :) & the tantrum after just isn't worth it.

For my husband though he feels weird about it too cos once he was getting out of the shower & when he was towel drying his hair she said "oooohh!" & touched it- which isn't bad cos she's just curious but it freaked him out so we'll probably be the underwear-is-the-limit type family :)

Johnny - posted on 12/30/2010

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There is nothing inherently wrong with being naked within a family. Nothing at all. If a child is uncomfortable with it and expresses that, then their concerns should be respected and the parents should cover up. But otherwise there is no need to be ashamed of our bodies.

Caitlin - posted on 12/30/2010

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My mom growing up had no respect for my privacy, she'd walk in on me in the shower/while changing. It drove me crazy, I hated it. She'd walk around naked all the tiem and said "If you don't like it, don't look". I hated that mentality, because I was captive in my room if I didn't want to see her saggy body all over the house. Okay, slight exaggeration, she didn't walk around naked all the time, but it seemed like too often at the time. My oldest is only 25 months old, so she still sees me naked often, and she points and names my parts. When i'm breastfeeding the baby, she comes up and pokes my breast and says "malk". I say, yes, the breast makes milk.. It's hillarious. Either way. If both parties don't mind, then I don't see the issue. My husband on the other hand says he doesn't want my daughter to see a real penis until she's 35 or more.. He's funny, but he's just not okay with it, so he covers up. problem solved..

Rachael - posted on 12/30/2010

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My children are older now so they don't see the opposite sex parent naked but they see each other naked

Alexis - posted on 12/28/2010

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My son is 16 months. Myself and my husband run around naked in the house. My son usually just wears a diaper as long as its warm enough. If we could find a way to make a living we would like to live in a nudist colony. I personal believe that if everyone walked around naked then we wouldn't have self esteem issues since we would all see how everyone really looks, which its no different than our own bodies. I don't see us stopping the nude at home thing either, unless one of us becomes uncomfortable with it, including the children. I do notice my son will become interested in all of our body parts not just the 'private' ones. Unless we teach him that its a big deal by covering up and making it a big deal ourselves I don't think nudity will be a big deal to him, and it will help him to be comfortable in his own body and have fewer body image issues.

Alecia - posted on 12/27/2010

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my 15 mnth old sees me naked sometimes. we will take a few showers a week with eachother. its no big deal at all and will do it with my next be it boy or girl. even though i dnt like how my body looks right now, i am not ashamed of it and will teach my daughter to never be ashamed of hers either. they come in all shapes and sizes and everyone has one. like lisa said, its only weird if someone makes it. i want to be the one who educates my daughter and instill values in her, so i want her to be curious and ask questions (to a point)

Petra - posted on 12/19/2010

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I grew up in a pretty naked house, didn't traumatize or scar me and when I hit 12-13 or thereabouts, I asked my parents if they would mind employing housecoats or pajamas. They were suprised, but overall, no big deal. I imagine my house may not be AS naked, but again, I'm not going to treat it as a big deal.

[deleted account]

It's a non-issue in our home, and it was a non-issue growing up. A few weeks ago I accidentally walked into my parent's room to get my son's sneakers and didn't realize my dad was dressing. I saw his fat ass and I did not faint with trauma. I thought my dad was snoozing and I was planning on sneaking in! So nudity as children, and as adults are a non-issue.

Kate CP - posted on 12/18/2010

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I agree with Lisa, too. I walk around nude all the time but my husband isn't comfortable with being nude in front of our daughter any more so he covers up. *shrug* It's about whatever you and your family is comfortable with. If my daughter ever says "Jesus, Mother, put on a robe!" then I'll stop wandering around nekkid. ;)

Brittany - posted on 12/18/2010

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I have 2 boys, the oldest will be 3 in march and the baby is 18 months. They both see me naked and don't think anything of it. The oldest has asked about my boobs, but never anything else. It's not like i flaunt around naked all the time, but if he sees me it's no big deal. They are both much more fascinated by daddy b/c he looks like them...which makes him uncomfortable. lol

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Damnit, I had a blood test and it was negative. We're still lil' eager beavers trying to get the job done. Soon, I hope! Thanks Erin!

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Haha! I have pregnancy on the brain....

Correction: She doesn't think there's anything strange about seeing me naked!

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At 27 months Roxanne doesn't think there's anything strange with seeing me pregnant. She always names the body parts...

Lacye - posted on 12/18/2010

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Right now I'm not worried about it. My daughter is 18 months old, she will not remember seeing me naked. However! When she gets older I will start covering myself up because it may not make her uncomfortable but I will be! I can remember my mother when I was younger, walking around naked as a jay bird flashing her tattoo that is on her boob. Yeah. It was disturbing!

Clarissa - posted on 12/18/2010

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he just might :) whether you think so or not your child could not like it, how many kids want to see their parents naked?

[deleted account]

If it's what the family is used to then it wouldn't be weird. If either the parent or child is uncomfortable then it wouldn't be ok to continue. There are no absolute age rules on this topic. It's a family by family or person by person decision.

I can't answer for us since there is no adult male in our house and my son isn't quite 3 yet (my girls are 9), but nudity in our house is a complete non issue at this point.

Minnie - posted on 12/18/2010

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Hmmm...what do you think will happen, Clarissa? Will the 12 year old black out and go into a coma?



As I said, it's only weird when someone makes it weird.

Clarissa - posted on 12/18/2010

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So it would be okay for a 12 year old to walk in on their dad or vice versa? shoudnt there be a limit?

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