Doctors

[deleted account] ( 38 moms have responded )

How do you feel about doctors? Do you always take their advice or do you do your own research as well? Or do you loathe doctors and avoid them at all costs?

For me, it depends. I know there are good doctors and bad doctors and I've had experiences with both types. My current OB is fabulous and I trust his advice, but I've also always agreed with it. My children's pediatrician is a different story though. So far, I trust her with medical issues, but I've never listened to her parenting advice (which I also never asked for). She told me I could start solids at 4 months, let baby CIO a little, and asked me several times what my plan for weaning was. I definitely research and get second opinions on things that have to do with my kids.

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April - posted on 09/15/2011

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i generally don't trust medical professionals. they are a business. they make money. c sections, inductions all make the doctor's pocketbook thicker. i hate my OB and won't be having her again. i like my GP and i think i have taught him to be open minded. i think he was open minded before, but seeing how passionate i am about nursing and birth, i think he sees me as an inspiration.

[deleted account]

I don't have to do anything she says :P. My point is if someone doesn't know better then they would've just given food to a baby that was definitely not ready just because the doctor said it was ok.

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Jasmine - posted on 09/25/2011

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I get along pretty well with my daughter's doctor. However, I think the receptionist at the practice is kind of condescending sometimes. One time I called close to closing time just hours after bringing my daughter (age 22 months) in because she had a fever for 2 days. Her temp jumped to 104 as soon as the ibuprofen wore off and I panicked because she never had a temp of more than 100 in her first year. I told this to the receptionist and she was like" well of course her temp is going to go up when the medicine wears off" and basically she told me to just give her more and call in 2 days if she still had a fever. I feel this is something one of the nurses or the doctor herself should have told me. Plus this is my first child and I am learning as I go when it comes to the health stuff. Plus I thought a temp of 104 usually warranted an ER visit.

Jennifer - posted on 09/24/2011

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I've had good and bad. I like the doc's I use now, but the ER doc's here are terrible! My 15 year old had a nasty bike wreck a few months ago, and the ER doc was mad cause he walked 2 blocks after it to get home. EXCUSE ME?!? He's 15, in less than 6 months he will be legal to drive a CAR, and he could have had a motorcycle license 18 months ago, but I'm suppose to be running behind him holding the back of his seat? Of course he was also lecturing me instead of treating my kid, yeah, I lost it. I've also sat with my youngest, demanding treatment for an asthma attack and the doc said it wasn't because she wasn't weezing, only coughing. Would not listen to her lungs. When they finally did, she was admitted, and spent three days in there!
I have to say that my oldest son's first doc was my favorite. I asked him all kinds of stuff. He always gave at least two sides. I talked to him about vacs, and he gave me several things to think about. He did a modified schedule with my two oldest. He supported my breastfeeding, but was supportive when I had too much difficulty with the my second to continue. He also had three adult children, and 4 grandkids. I felt good taking his parenting advice. I wish I ccould find another like him!

Jennifer - posted on 09/16/2011

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I've had good and bad docs. My first ob was an idiot! First I was animic during my pregnacy he know for 3 weeks before putting my on iron! It had gotten so bad I was dizzy all time, throwing up often (past morning sickniss stage and had never had in in my first trimester) and was so tired I could barly move! We called the doc after a night of my hubby having to almost carry me to the bathroom to throw up to many times to count bc I was so dizzy I could not stand with out almost falling and he says "Oh yea you should be taking iron I thought you started that 3 weeks ago." I had been called and told all my blood tests were normal three weeks befor! Then he screwed up stiching me up after delivery (during wich the nurses fought with him bc they felt I should have had a c-section and my heart stopped and he knowing I have a heart murrmer did not have me on a monitor the nurse caght it and saved my life!) Then he perscibed pinicellen to me (allergic!) bc I had a cold at the time of delivery. With my second (she was my suprise baby) I had a great OB, He had me on iron from day one (I always run boarderline animic and drop even more when prego). When my heart started acting up at the end he did finally insist on inducing and kept me on the heart monitor. After he restichted me so it no longer hurt to have sex yea! And told us that it would be a very bad idea to have more children unless we adopt see my heart was pausing for 30 sec at a time during delivery. He also talked to my hubby and I about witch one of us should get "fixed" he was willing to do me but was hesitant bc even taking 100mg of iron a day I was still running low on iron and a bleeder. The kids ped at the time was one of those that dont listen I knew there was something wrong with my youngest development verbaly early on, she never cued or babbled he just kept saying it was nothing to worry about. At 2 1/2 we got them into a new ped who sent us to a specialest she has Apraxia and speech is was very difficalt for her she had to go into therapy and did not start talking until she was almost 4. But on the other hand that doc that listened about our youngest did nothing about our oldest Asthma he refused to treat her until she was older. Thier new ped is treating her asthma and working with us to find out why our youngest now 6 has sever stomic pains for what seemes to be no reasion. We just have to work at finding the docs that are a good fit for the family.

Tanya - posted on 09/16/2011

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My actual doctor, I love. She didn't pooh-pooh my concerns about vaxes with my oldest son (whose uncle had a severe reaction), and she obviously knows that I know what I'm doing when it comes to my kids.

Usually, though, I see a resident, and they usually don't have a CLUE. When my DS2 had his 2-month appointment, he was already over 16 lbs., and the guy reminded me that he needed to be rearfacing in the car until he was 20 lbs.!! Um..yeah, he was 20 lbs. at 4 months old! He also thought that the tiny bit of smegma on his penis could be yeast, and he did a HORRIBLE job of giving him his vaccination (I'm a neonatal nurse, so I know how to give vaxes!). This guy even had kids of his own, but most of the residents I see don't. I know that I know way more about parenting than they do.

Even with how much I love my doctor, I go to her for MEDICAL advice, not parenting advice. IMO, doctors are no more expert on parenting than anybody else.

I had an OB with my first, and I liked him fine, but I would never choose to have an OB again. I much prefer midwifery care. I loved that I was the one making the decisions. I could ask them for their professional opinion, and they would make recommendations based on the current research and their experiences, but I was the one in the driver's seat.

Jessica - posted on 09/16/2011

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I love my pediatrician. She keeps well informed on hot button issues like breast feeding and when to start solids, and she never pressured me to supplement even when my son was having trouble in the beginning. I find it very sad and unfortunate that so many women have bad experiences with their children's doctors. We're supposed to be able to trust our children's lives to their doctors.

As for me, yeah. I don't do doctors. I have personal boundary issues, and everything a doctor does from asking all those questions to poking and prodding you in uncomfortable places just gives me panic attacks. I was a high risk pregnancy due to my weight and then gestational diabetes, and I saw enough doctors to last me a friggin LIFETIME.

[deleted account]

"It takes some research and work but it isn't really that hard."



I disagree with that. It's very hard. I moved far away from anyone I knew and had to blindly pick an OBGYN. I didn't know anyone to ask. I researched and picked one. I liked her before I got pregnant, but it turns out she's a very different person when you're bothering her more frequently than once a year. After being here a while I've made more female friends to get recommendations from and I now have an OBGYN that I love. So I guess it's not very hard if you have trusted friends to ask. Moving into a new city made it very hard to find a good doctor because there are so many doctors here. It was extremely overwhelming.

Celeste - posted on 09/16/2011

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Oh I agree. Just saying that you have to find a doctor that fits with you. There are a lot of great doctors, you just have to find them. And fortunately, I do have doctors that I love and value their opinions

Celeste - posted on 09/16/2011

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Kelly, I know there are good doctors out there. I'm aware of how much they put in, etc. My father in law is an ENT. But my issue, is when they discount a patient's concern, or are very condescending. Or that their opinion is the end all be all.

[deleted account]

Not all doctors are uninformed, close-minded idiots. I am rather surprised at the volume and intensity of negative opinions here.

Many of my very best friends are doctors, and they work very, very hard to do what they do the best they can. Do you have ANY idea how much they have to know? How often that information changes? They put in 40+ hours a week with patients, then 20+ more updating charts and doing specific research for patients who's condition has them stumped. They attend continued education to keep their licensing. They do their best to stay up to date, but like you and me, they ARE human--they cannot read every study and evaluate it's merit, and they do make mistakes (that's what malpractice insurance is for). Sometimes it does take several doctors to find a solution, because no one mind can remember EVERYTHING there is to know about the human body.

I've seen my share of bad doctors, but in my experience (and I have a lot of experience) most doctors are doing a wonderful job.

Katherine - posted on 09/16/2011

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I also think it all depends on where you live, I have run into more great doctors here in Ontario that were Canadian trained, but the ones from other places/countries weren't as great, less of a bedside maner, less knowledge etc etc.

Maybe money has something to do with it, our goverment pays our docs - they are good

In the states you pay your docs - not so good....some really don't care.....not enough money etc

Minnie - posted on 09/16/2011

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My opinion of doctors is not very popular around here hehe.



I don't generally think highly of them based on my experiences. In my opinion, doctors are good for fixing things that are already broken but break just as many things as often.



My OBGYN pushed circumcision paraphanalia on me (she's clearly not keeping up to date), she pushed induction on me, she induced me with cytotec, a drug contraindicated against use in induction by the FDA, she did a completely botch up job sewing up my 2nd degree tear (my midwife ended up fixing it for me after I had my second child), and decided to take her sweet time showing up to 'catch' and thus I had to sit there with my daughter practically hanging out of me because "oh noes we can't have a baby born if the OB isn't present!"



My daughter's pediatrician suggested exploratory surgery to determine the cause of her frequent projectile vomiting after prescribing her zantac. She had never once heard of this really common and easily rectified thing called foremilk/hindmilk imbalance. She also told me my milk wasn't good enough because my daughter was in the 1-3rd percentile for weight. Because she was unaware that breastfed babies grow a little bit differently than the formula fed babies her weight charts were based on.



I had surgery last October to fix an inguinal hernia (which I'm not convinced was a super huge issue) and the surgeon insisted that I temporarily wean my two year old because the anesthesia drugs would get into her system through my milk. I had to take MY drug books to her and point out to her the correct information about the drugs.



Every time I've been to a doctor for stupid things in the past that never needed to be seen by one I've been poked prodded and then the doctor say basically "we can't do anything" (but we'll sure take your money).



So yeah, that's my opinion. Maybe other people are sicker than my family and myself. Or maybe they're luckier in finding a good doctor. I believe they're out there. My opinion is tainted. We eat really well and are extremely healthy. We're never sick. My babies fall out of me so I don't worry about having them at home and I've done my own research to be confident in my choices and knowlege over the last 5 1/2 years. So no, I don't typically take a doctor's advice, but then again, I never see them.

[deleted account]

"I'm a weirdo. Most of my life I've hated doctors and loved dentists."



I always loved going to the dentist! But she's also my aunt :). I even saw her after we moved a couple times, but eventually had to find a dentist where I live now.

[deleted account]

Just thought that I would throw this out there: I don't ask for the parenting advice. She'll ask how long she eats, how many times she wakes to nurse, etc. and with that will come parenting advice that I have always ignored.

Celeste - posted on 09/15/2011

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Oh and I should add that I adore my kid's pediatrician and my GP. My kid's pediatrician does offer advice, but not as the end all be all. She respects my choices. My GP takes the time to listen to me,

So, there ARE good doctors out there, you just have find them.

Celeste - posted on 09/15/2011

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Doctors are humans, and not infallible. I don't go to a pediatrician for parenting advice (ie. telling me to CIO) or breastfeeding advice (I went to an IBCLC).

I think it's important to be your own advocate (or your child's advocate) and do your research. Kinda off the parenting subject, but 2 of my kids have a genetic disorder (Neurofibromatosis)/ When my daughter was a baby, we discovered that she had a large tumor underneath her tongue. We were sent to an ENT who knew NOTHING about this disorder. He removed it. Had he known about NF, he would've recognized that it's a tumor that will grow back. And, unfortunately, it did, and it grew back bigger.

I had a pediatrician tell me to not bother nursing my twins, because it was too much of a hassle.

I also had a doctor who didn't take me seriously when I had wrist pain, and nothing showed up on the x-ray. I mentioned DeQuervain's and he said "M'am, you do too much reading on the internet" (I had a doctor friend tell me about it, and I printed out some info on it to show the doctor). Sent me to an orthopedist and I *DID* have Dequervain's.

So, with those experiences, I'm very picky about what doctors I go to..

Anna - posted on 09/14/2011

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Since my doctors generally think we're healthy, I kinda like to agree with them. :) I don't go to them for parenting advice either. That's what other parents and my own instincts are for.

My daughter's last doctor was all about charts and said some pretty wacky things. "She's breastfeeding so much it's starving her," and stuff like that. So we switched to a doc who actually looked at my baby instead of a chart. I did wonder a little whether it made sense to switch just because we didn't like the diagnosis, but my baby just seemed so healthy and I was not willing to wean so that was that. Our new doctor met us saying things like, "breastfeed as long as you want," and "you can tell by looking at her she's not FTT, look how chubby those cheeks are." Much more in line with both common sense and what I've researched on my own.

[deleted account]

I trust and like the kids ped or I wouldn't keep going to him.... since it's a 45 minute drive one way. All his medical advice has been good. I don't tend to ask for parenting advice and if he gives any and I like it... I try it. If I don't, I don't.

I like and trust my GP. I don't have an OB anymore. I used to like my NP (the lady I went to for pap's and stuff), but I don't intend to make any more appointments w/ her after she told me I should wean my son at 2.75 years. Her 'reasoning' (other than saying he was too old) was that I was tired. Well... the kid has been weaned for 2 months now and I'm still just as tired, so nursing him had absolutely nothing to do w/ that. Yeah, I took it personally. It wasn't JUST that comment though.

[deleted account]

I'm a weirdo. Most of my life I've hated doctors and loved dentists.

Then I moved abroad and got breast cancer. I was extremely lucky to get one of the best breast surgeons in my area, who also happens to be a wonderful and kind man. I also ended up with a very nice radiation therapist and oncologist. So I had 3 great doctors! I almost want to say, "It was a great experience!" except, well, cancer sucks.

Finding an OB that I trusted was harder. It took me several years and several miscarriages. I don't have any complaints about my medical treatment, just... there was a dismissive manner and lack of understanding. I'm sure they see miscarriages every day, but for me it was devastating.

I now have a wonderful paediatrician. She has never bugged me about my baby's weight (slightly under) or suggested supplementing with formula (not that she was against it either). She didn't care when I told her at 7mo that he wasn't eating many solids. Her advice for sleep? "It's tough being a parent. Some kids don't sleep through until 3."

She did, however, notice right away some subtle potential medical problems and referred us to a paediatric surgeon. (My son ended up being fine on all counts.)

She just doesn't hand out parenting advice.

Cynthia - posted on 09/14/2011

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A little of both, my doctor also wanted me to wean at three months, start solids.....so I read and read and read........
p.s. am also in the Ottawa area! LOL

Katherine - posted on 09/14/2011

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I trust my gp fully, for both myself, my hubby and my baby! We've been part of his practice since he graduated med school and started, we were one of his first patients!! He is very open, using real life explanations, allowing us to try different things, giving us ideas and such.

My ob was recommended through him, I wasn't able to interview all of the ones in the area, as in Ottawa we have a group of 10 doctors that rotate through the maternity ward at the hospital I wanted to go to, depending on when we went in depended on the doctor we would recieve. My OB was fantastic throughout pregnacy, and my delivering doctor was GREAT!!!!

JuLeah - posted on 09/14/2011

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I think black and white thinking is a danger myself. Life is shades of grey.



I have not been to medical school and know little more then what I've learned from HOUSE - so, the very idea of 'giving my medical consent' makes me laugh, but that is a different conversation



I think you have to go with your gut and trust you doctor will respect you -



Yes, I do the research too, but know in ten years time the research will all point in a different direction



I think we can do the best we can do, today



And, sometime we learn later of a different thing we might have done, sometimes the outcome sucks .... it happens



Given what I actually have control over - very little ... I say what I want is a doctor to

listen,

respect,

trust me (my gut and understanding)

keep up with the latest and

be open minded about other approaches,

think outside the box,

see my child as a whole child (not just a cluster of cells) So, see my child as an emotional, mental, physical, spiritual being ... and understand that all play a part in her overall health



If I can find a doctor who gets this ... we are good

Ashley - posted on 09/14/2011

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I absolutely love my doctor!! I've never had anyone put my mind at ease like him. For my 2nd i was high risk and had to go to the hospital for montly ultrasounds and check ups plus going to my regular dr as well. Everytime i left they had me scared out of my mind. At 20 weeks they gave me a premature labour guide. Signs to watch out for, told me i could have my baby at anytime and to fill in my admitting papers. Not only did they have me scared they were also very mean. They had me crying my eyes out by the time i left. This wasnt just one appointment either, this was every one. I would go see my doctor the next day and he could tell by my face they had said something. He used to tell me not to worry the baby and i were going to be fine and he couldnt beleive what they were telling me. Sure enough baby was born 2 wks early weighing 9 pounds. I used to say the hospital is going to put me in early labour because they have me so stressed out. He's honest and straight forward when asking him anything. I take his advice always and will go to him for parenting advice. If it werent for doctors my oldest son wouldnt be alive so i can't say anything real bad about them. He was on his death bed (one more day without antibiotics and he would've died) and they did whatever they could possibly do to save his life. Spending 2 months in the hospital wasnt the best time as a new mom but having the support of the doctors and nurses around made it that much better. I would 100% trust them again if i had to

[deleted account]

My opinion on doctors has changed dramatically since I became chronically ill with as yet undiagnosed pain. I've had some hungdinger of BAD doctors and bad ER experiences. I've also had some specialists who worked their tails off trying to find out what's wrong with me.

My primary care physician however is a tool who never reads the charts, never pays attention to anything you say. It's hard for me to make a complaint against him too much though because he's on the board where I work. I am looking for a new one though.

I still however have 100% confidence in modern medicine though and do not buy the vast majority of 'alternative' care. I think they lie and deceive more often than not.

[deleted account]

For the most part, I take my doctors' advice. Of course, I do my own research too, but I'm not going to trust web research over my doctor, I'm going to discuss what I found with him and get his input, THEN make a decision on my own.

Also, getting a doctor you trust is very important. I know so many moms who chose their OB because their office had the first open appointment. When I chose my OB, I interviewed over a dozen different groups until I found a group I was happy with. If I had to wait a long time, felt rushed, or disagreed with their policies or procedures, I went somewhere else.

I interviewed almost every pediatrician in our area (over 40) when I was choosing J's doctor. I ended up making a bad decision--it happens--but because I had already done my research, I didn't have to scramble to switch pediatricians. I had already interviewed all of them and knew exactly where I was going to take him.

Don't just go to any doctor, find one with good references, check their degrees, make sure you "click", and checkout all of their policies and such before you sign on.

Jay - posted on 09/13/2011

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Oh, I also had to fight with my mid wife while in labor to not break my waters and for the f**cking hundreth time I DON'T WANT ANY MEDS... just let me handle this... :P xx

Jay - posted on 09/13/2011

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I nearly always fight with them and debate with them.... :P
My old doctor that I had until I left my home town was brilliant, But I had a rubbish doctor before that.
My doctor now is really bad, I am looking for a new one at the moment. I brought my baby in to him when he was about three months with a rash and he didnt even lift him from his carricot to check his head, he just looked in, (while I could see shadows blocking it), and said it was dry skin,.I got a second opinion within the practice and it was a fungal rash that needed some special treatment.
Another time he prescribed steroids to my son at 5 months without even saying it was steroids, I found out in the chemist and didn't take them!!
My doctor when I was pregnant told me that my baby was big and that I should come in and be induced next week ( a week early). I said no, no way! and on my due date he wanted to induce me again, and I said no way! I gave birth naturally 5 days late.
One of my health nurses told me to feed my baby anything , even mushrooms, honey and nuts! Now I feed him loads of things, meat, fruit and veg from 6 months, but never those things!
And my other nurse told me to get my baby on formula now he is 6 months... no thanks, still on breast at 7 months.
You are better off to do your research, if it was up to me I would have delayed vaccinating for about 12 months too, but my hubby felt more strongly than I did about it, and I won on not having him circumcised... so we came to an agreement there. Also I have had no vaccines and I kind of want them now I am an adult, especially rubella... I wouldn't get the new flu vax with swine flu when I was pregnant though... xx

Krista - posted on 09/13/2011

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I think that doctors are human beings, and you get some who are great, some who are awful, and some who are good, but whose advice you don't really agree with.

I take my doctor's advice, but will also do my own research. Fortunately, my doctor is fantastic in that he's willing to talk things out and address my concerns and treats me as an active partner in my (and my child's) health care. So even if we don't agree, we can usually plan out a course of action that makes us both happy.

[deleted account]

I trust my gp's they are great, if they aren't sure or they feel it needs it they refer to the specialist rather than trying to deal with it in the surgery (like my old drs did). I have absolutely no issue with refusing to see drs I don't agree with or if I feel they are not good drs because for emit is important to be able to trust what they say.

My health visitor I do research as well as taking their advice when it comes to parenting choices because they often differ from my ideas, such as the advice I was given to not put Ethan into our bed if he has a nightmare because he'll never get out...yes he does he goes back to his own bed usually within 10 mins and I have yet to see an adult sleeping with mommy and daddy!

[deleted account]

Yeah, my pedi threatened me with supplementing when I had Claire. Even though I told her a million times just minutes before (and after) that my milk just came in. The next day at our weight check, Claire had gained 4 oz overnight. I have tons of breastfeeding examples too. I ended up delivering my second at a birth center with a midwife that my OB recommended. So I don't really know how he is in that situation. I went to him because many moms told me he would let you do what you want in labor. At my first appointment he said it's fine to nurse through pregnancy, he considers full-term to be between 37-42 weeks, etc. He knew so much. I was actually happy leaving his office which was the opposite of what I felt every time I left my first OB's office.

[deleted account]

I'm in a local breastfeeding group, and one of the girls was distraught that after fighting so hard to get her newborn on the breast, the pediatrician recommended supplementing. The reason was her baby had only gained half a pound. But he gained, and he's having plenty of diapers...I call bull on the ped's advice. Another person in my group had her ped tell her that when a child is old enough to ask for milk, he's too old to breastfeed. So no, I wouldn't always take their advice. (Sorry, breastfeeding examples are all I could think of at the moment.)

I absolutely adore my pediatrician though. She's won awards, she's very thorough, she keeps up with the latest research, and she gives all her patients her personal cell phone number and answers every call. She's fabulous. I wouldn't take anyone's word just because they are a doc, but everything I've researched on my own aligns with what she has to say.

My OB has excellent bedside manner and I believe he's got my best interest at heart. Sometimes though I feel like he's a 'typical OB'. He kept hinting that if I asked for induction, I'd get one...even though I didn't go past 40 weeks and I was a VBAC patient. He never pressured me, but what if I hadn't done my own research first? I possibly would have let him do an induction.

[deleted account]

You would start solids even if baby showed absolutely zero signs of readiness just because they reached 4 months? She never once asked me where my child was developmentally just that we could start. Since my daughter wasn't acutally ready until 8 months, I'm glad I knew otherwise.

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