Intact penis question (not a debate)

Merry - posted on 03/12/2011 ( 13 moms have responded )

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Hey ladies, I know there's a bunch of intactivist moms here and I've got a question for you.
I went to this website from a link someone posted
http://www.noharmm.org/anatomy.htm
And I was very happy to learn that the part of my sons penis that I thought was still reattached was actually a normal part of the penis called the frenulum.
Eric was circumcised, but my obgyn said she did sort of a half way circ these days because it's really not necessary to take off alot, and too much removed can cause problems.
So she took off less then normal I guess, and it reattached. I 'fixed' it and it reattached again and again and again. 4 times in lesser severity the skin has reattached. And each time I've retracted it back like the dr said to.
With the exception of this one small strand of skin right at the base. I thought it was supposed to not be there because my circ hubby doesn't have that. But this article said some circ men have it cut off.
Anyways, the question is, on Eric it isn't exactly centered, it's off a bit to one side of the head.
Is that normal?
I worry now I mint have damaged it by thinking it was reattached skin, not a functioning organ!
Pisses me off how little I knew before agreeing to this cric.
But even my husband didn't know what it was since his was cut off.
It's sad, supposedly the frenulum is like the most sensitive part! And for many it is cut off. I'm so very glad that at least I didn't do that to Eric.

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Minnie - posted on 03/12/2011

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Mine too. Our husbands were done in the 80s, when tight circumcisions were the norm. They lost everything. My husband used to be very pro-circumcision, but he realized it was only an ego thing. He isn't bothered too much by what he lost, because he chooses not to worry about what he can't change, and he doesn't know the difference. But he's a staunch advocate of keeping baby boys intact.

Merry - posted on 03/12/2011

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I only retracted erics because of the adhesion, I thought it was infected because it was all red and swollen and I saw some yellow 'pus' the dr said it might be infected and gave us cream for it, but then the next week Eric had hand foot and mouth and a different dr saw him and casually noticed his skin had reattached!

It wasn't an infection at all it was simply a ring of smegma all around the penis that was trapped because it reattached, but not all the way down. Just at the edge. So the smegma was trapped in there.

Eric also barely looks circ, his skin comes more then half way over the head.

I think my hubby now feels kinda bad that he is missing a part, he always assumed his penis was just like everyone elses, but now knowing he lost all the foreskin as well as the frenulum, he seemed a bit pissy.

Ignorance may be bliss but we are both glad to be learning all this info so we can avoid doing it to a future son.

Matts also taken it upon himself to inform alot of his friends and coworkers about how pointless and damaging circ is.

Charlie - posted on 03/12/2011

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It should be ok if you be gentle from now on , do not retract when intact as I am sure you know now .



And April no your doctor should NOT be retracting his penis , Not only is there no need for it for him to perform a health check he could be causing damage by tearing the natural adhesion .......It is a worry so many doctors don't know this .



I would ask him to stop if he trys to "reason" with you I woul change doctors .

Minnie - posted on 03/12/2011

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There actually is an article on Peaceful Parenting about care of a penis that develops adhesions- in that particular case it was an intact boy who's doctor forcibly retracted it- I'll have to find it for you. But some of the information it contained leaned toward letting the adhesions occur, as they are the penis trying to heal itself, and that overtime they would break down naturally- remember, the foreskin is normally tightly adhered to the glans before puberty.

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Nellynunes148 - posted on 07/16/2016

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Our 3 sons are all intact, since they were newborns I always did stretching exercises on their foreskins. My 16 year old still has a very tight foreskin. My 16 year old still can't fully retract his foreskin. Every other day I bathe them and I massage and stretch their foreskins I also lather their glans with baby oil.

Minnie - posted on 03/12/2011

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Yeah, some men have hair on the shaft when it's erect. Can you imagine how uncomfortable that would be, not just for the man, but for the woman? Ugh.

Merry - posted on 03/12/2011

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Thankfully matts isn't as tight as it can be, I was on the noharmm site and they had a page called c number. It used pictures to see how much skin a man has. Circ or intact. The worst ones don't even have enough skin to fully cover when hard! It pulls up on the scrotum in order to harden :( that's so sad.

April - posted on 03/12/2011

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is it okay not to retract the penis ever? i read somewhere that only the person that owns the penis should retract it. i don't retract my son's, but his doctor does it every time he has a well baby check up. should i be asking his doctor not to do that? it bothers me when he does. i feel like he shouldn't. i'm worried he is going to turn him into a fully circumcised male by doing that. i rather like that he looks like he's intact, even though he's not. i want to keep it like that, but i guess it will look less intact as he grows?

April - posted on 03/12/2011

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my son is partially circumcised, as well. i definitely can relate to your situation. if i had come to COM before I had children, i would have never circumcised my son. i feel that my son is very blessed to have had a surgeon that probably felt uneasy about performing a circumcision and took as little skin off as possible. most people think he is not circumcised. it's very hard to tell!

Krista - posted on 03/12/2011

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Yep, that's totally normal for the frenulum to not be dead-centre. And he is lucky to still have it, as it is definitely one of the most sensitive parts of the penis.

You probably haven't damaged it -- just go REALLY gentle on him. If you're worried about it, or if he keeps getting adhesions, it might be worthwhile taking him to a pediatric urologist, just to make sure that you're taking care of it the way you should. My son isn't circumcised, so I can't really tell you what the proper care is for a circ'd penis that gets adhesions.

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