"Mum, I am gay"

Nikki - posted on 08/22/2010 ( 208 moms have responded )

5,263

41

574

How would you feel if your child came out as being gay? Would it have implications in your life, your morals, values, religious beliefs? Would you accept it, ignore it, disown them?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Sarah - posted on 08/26/2010

556

25

44

ok- so I have decided to pull out my research.

First- homosexual behavior has been observed in a LOT of other primates and mammals- it is not something that only humans do, on the contrary, it is inherent to animals, ourselves included.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexual_...



Second, I believe we are closing in on the gay gene which will prove once and for all that being gay is genetic! And for once, Fox News agrees with me! LOL

http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2010/07/1...

(whether this info will be used for good is another debate)



Ok, now I will address the anatomy question. It is my belief that homosexuality is naturally occurring as a way to prevent overpopulation, an addition to making men/women sterile. And honestly, a woman's vagina has some nasty stuff that comes out of it too, not poop, but blood, membranes, People etc! Also, as a member of the gay community I will say that it is silly to think that gay men are always having anal sex. It's not the only thing that they do, or even the thing they do most frequently. There is a lot of oral involved. Conversely, gay women do not only have oral sex, as most people seem to think. Tribadism is very common amongst lesbians.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tribadism



Also, if sex is only reproductive then I guess people who are sterile should not bother with sex, same for pregnant women, old men and women, men with vasectomies and women with their tubes tied. Neither should we use any form of birth control, no oral sex, no masturbation, no anal sex, etc.



(I find the tribadism article slightly misrepresentative only b/c that's not the only position, but whatever, I'm certainly not going to upload any of my pics to prove them wrong LOL.)

[deleted account]

Teresa, most people here don't have a problem with people who believe in God. It's more the people, like Starr, who use their beliefs to promote hateful ideologies.

I am an Atheist. I do not believe I'm a sinner. I am a good person. I do not believe the purpose of humans is to worship god. I do not think humans have a purpose at all. We just are. If you choose to be a Christian and use those beliefs to be a loving, respectful member of society, then good on you. I have nothing against you. I like all people - Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, White, Black, Asian, Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Hetero etc etc etc - until they open their mouths and spout ignorance and hate.
And yes, I hate the bible and cannot understand how people can base their lives on an outdated book full of hate and evil. Be a Christian if you want. Believe in God, but have the sense and intelligence to think for yourself.

[deleted account]

@Starr If the bible is so right and homosexuality is such a sin, then why does it not even appear in the 10 commandments? If it was SO important and such a sin, then why isn't it in there? He waffles on for ages so it obviously wasn't a space thing. It could have been the 11th commandment. But no. Funny aye?

And lets look at these other little gems in the bible. Do you have a daughter Starr? Would you be ok with your husband selling her into slavery?

"When a man sells his daughter as a slave, she will not be freed at the end of six years as the men are. If she does not please the man who bought her, he may allow her to be bought back again. But he is not allowed to sell her to foreigners, since he is the one who broke the contract with her. And if the slave girl's owner arranges for her to marry his son, he may no longer treat her as a slave girl, but he must treat her as his daughter. If he himself marries her and then takes another wife, he may not reduce her food or clothing or fail to sleep with her as his wife. If he fails in any of these three ways, she may leave as a free woman without making any payment. " (Exodus 21:7-11 NLT
Well, itsn't that lovely. Speaking of children. What about a spot of baby bashing?

"Happy those who seize your children and smash them against a rock." Psalms 137:9 NAB

Nice.

Why stop at babies? They're easy to kill. Why not a whole town?

The Canaanite king of Arad, who lived in the Negev, heard that the Israelites were approaching on the road to Atharim. So he attacked the Israelites and took some of them as prisoners. Then the people of Israel made this vow to the LORD: "If you will help us conquer these people, we will completely destroy all their towns." The LORD heard their request and gave them victory over the Canaanites. The Israelites completely destroyed them and their towns, and the place has been called Hormah ever since. (Numbers 21:1-3 NLT)

And what about children from different races? I know your own children are mixed race. What about this?

"About the same time I realized that some of the men of Judah had married women from Ashdod, Ammon, and Moab. Even worse, half their children spoke in the language of Ashdod or some other people and could not speak the language of Judah at all. So I confronted them and called down curses on them. I beat some of them and pulled out their hair. I made them swear before God that they would not let their children intermarry with the pagan people of the land. "Wasn't this exactly what led King Solomon of Israel into sin?" I demanded. "There was no king from any nation who could compare to him, and God loved him and made him king over all Israel. But even he was led into sin by his foreign wives. How could you even think of committing this sinful deed and acting unfaithfully toward God by marrying foreign women?" (Nehemiah 13:23-27 NLT)

The bible spouts a lot of crap. It contradicts itself over and over and over and over and over. You can't base your whole values and belief system on it, because it is WRONG. Believe in God if you must, but don't buy into all that organised religion bullshit.

Johnny - posted on 08/26/2010

8,686

26

322

I'm confused too. First, I need to confirm what it seems that you are saying...Gay sex, anal sex, and oral sex are immoral because they are not "natural" and part of sex in it's reproductive capacity. Sex is primarily for reproduction, however it is also for being intimate with our spouses in a pleasure finding way. Have I got that right?



First question, where in the bible does it state that oral sex and anal sex are immoral or sins in the eyes of god? Or is it that you personally simply find them to be disgusting?



Second, are anal and oral sex immoral, disgusting and sinful because those orifices are used for other functions? Would that not render the use of the penis for sex immoral given that it is used to urinate (which could also be considered a bit icky)? And the vagina is used for the passage of menstrual blood, unfertilized eggs and babies. That's downright icky. Would that not make using the vagina also immoral and disgusting? I mean, they are all holes that have been used since the dawn of time (by humans and animals) to stick things in, including other human body parts. Is toe sucking also immoral?



Third, if sex is primarily for reproduction, but also for pleasure finding, is pleasure simply reserved for opposite sex spouses? Can same sex spouses (where I live same-sex couples can legally wed and many Christian churches sanctify same-sex marriages) also enjoy sex for pleasure seeking?



And fourth, following up on Sarah's earlier point on tribadism, if lesbians are not engaging in oral sex or anal sex, are their sexual practices still immoral and sinful? And which biblical passages inform your answer?



And finally, unrelated to homosexual acceptance issues... are you suggesting that Toni is not a true Christian because she does not believe the same things as you? Could you explain at what time and how God granted you the moral authority to make these judgments?

[deleted account]

I can't read that Evangelical thing you posted Starr, because, like the biblical posts you also posted, they are just so full of hate that I can't bring myself to read them. I really wonder sometimes what Jesus would think (if he actually existed), if he came back today and saw what evangelical christians like you preached in his name. I think he would actually be horrified. You're not preaching love. You're preaching hate. And hate can't be justified.

And as an aside, it really weirds me out that you think of yourself and everyone as sinners. Why do you have such a negative view of humanity? I think of most people (myself included) as good. I feel sorry for you in a way. You're so focused on people's imaginary sins that you miss all the good things in the world.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

208 Comments

View replies by

[deleted account]

Ladies,

If you wish to continue debating this topic please start a new thread.

Thank-you
Toni
Moderator

Ashley - posted on 03/31/2011

274

40

35

I would never disown or ignore my child because they r gay. I am bi sexual myself, and I was almost disowned by my family b/c of my sexuality so I am not going to do it to my child.

K. - posted on 09/18/2010

188

18

9

I would be relieved if my daughters one day told me they were gay!! No teen pregnancy here!! No but seriously, I wouldn't have any problem with it at all. God made you how He made you. That's what I think anyway.

Krista - posted on 08/31/2010

12,562

16

847

Although, I was sharing this with a friend of mine, also an Evangical Christian like myself, and it was very hard to get out of my mouth. When I heard the words come out well sure why not let homosexuals get married, I got a bit scared at the response I was going to hear.



It's not easy, but I think that it shows a lot of courage. And I would bet that there are more Evangelical Christians like yourself who don't have an issue with gay marriage, but who don't dare say so, because the ones who ARE against gay marriage tend to be very forceful in their opinion -- and it's never enjoyable to swim against the tide. Perhaps you speaking up will make this friend put some time into thinking about her own opinions and why she holds them.

Starr - posted on 08/31/2010

372

37

11

Thank you Toni. I did just post again. I hope its not offensive but just a bit of information Im passing along.

[deleted account]

Starr I just finished reading the bi-sexual thread I think it is great that you can see where we are all coming from, and even better that you are not afraid to stand up and say so (instead of trying to 'save face' and stick to your gut reaction). Fair play to you.

Starr - posted on 08/31/2010

372

37

11

You know Toni, I am very aware that Im going to need these big girl panties. I have to give credit where it is due. Many of you ladies were beating it in me and it took a while but I can sincerely see why/how you all feel about homosexuality. It was nice to debate but I see that there is a time when its ok to say that my opinon has changed a bit. Although, I was sharing this with a friend of mine, also an Evangical Christian like myself, and it was very hard to get out of my mouth. When I heard the words come out well sure why not let homosexuals get married, I got a bit scared at the response I was going to hear. Although I knew her opinion was going to be different from what mine NOW was I was not prepared. But, Im sharing this with you all so that you can see I am very sincere and am not afraid to voice my opinion either. SO bring it on sisters..NEXT! LOL

[deleted account]

Wow I missed a lot, I've only been gone 3 days!

Starr I understand where you are coming from more so now, although I do feel in many of your posts you do come across negative maybe that is because you are on the defensive and feel protective so cannot show the positivity you have.

I'd hold onto the big girl panties from Krista your gonna need 'em round here we tend to say what we think ;-)

Krista - posted on 08/31/2010

12,562

16

847

Just a figure of speech 'round these parts, Starr. :) It basically means that you're one tough cookie. And I respect that.

Krista - posted on 08/31/2010

12,562

16

847

Starr, I give you credit. I disagree with you on a lot of things, but I admire your willingness to stand here against the face of a LOT of opposition and defend your opinions. A lot of women would have walked away. So, a big-girl panties salute to you!

Starr - posted on 08/31/2010

372

37

11

I apologize if I have offended. I know I have. thak you all for standing your grounds as well. I look forward for the next hot topic =)

LaCi - posted on 08/31/2010

3,361

3

171

"Laci, How can I stand up for someone elses beliefs if they are not mine? I can't go against what I believe my religion and morals are."

Some are able to understand and feel compassion for those whose beliefs differ from our own. That would also be what that whole human rights thing is all about. I don't believe in God, but I'd stand up for your right to believe and worship as you please, regardless of how ridiculous I may think it is. It's your right, it's your prerogative.

Starr - posted on 08/31/2010

372

37

11

Ok Dana. I see where youare coming from. I would not have found it offensive if someone said hey I will pray to my golden statue for you..or whatever. I would think ok if it works for you. So, here is my APOLOGY. I did not realize that would be offensive.But, you obviously made it clear that it is. You all have given me plenty examples. thank you. I see that form your eyes it is acceptable.

[deleted account]

I believe you were sincere which makes it even more irritating. I don't need you to pray for my bad attitude.....you don't see how your being condesending? It's a HUGE insult to me!

" Maybe, just maybe somewhere being gay is acceptable." ~ Starr

Not MAYBE, it IS acceptable and I think we've all given you plenty of examples....it's acceptable in my home. I guess ignorance really is bliss.

Starr - posted on 08/31/2010

372

37

11

No ladies, it was sincere. Im not going to waste God's time by saying a prayer that i dont mean. My benefit? You all don't affect my life. I debate on here becase I think its fun and I love to stand up for my religion. You see, I do have somehting in common with homosexuals. I do get discriminated against, not only for being a Christian but also for being in an interracial marriage. But just because Im discriminated against doesn't mean Im going to change my opinion on the matter. Now, Krista, God understands everything so he wouldn't be here arguing. He already knows whats right from wrong. And Christ is a very compassionate loving man. He can forgive but repentance has to take place first. I will know one day when I have that oppurtunity to meet my maker. God works here on earth everyday. You dont know if I wont have that oppurtunity to meet him before I die. But, it will probably be the last thing I think to ask him...I would prasie him first. I am a Christian..a follower of God..Christ like....saved...a sinner... know its not good for me to argue with you all but Im sure it's not good for me to sit back and not stand up for my God!

Krista - posted on 08/31/2010

12,562

16

847

"yes I do pray for others negative attittude. That is a symbol of kindness."

Actually, not in this context, it's not. Your prayer for our attitudes to change is a very self-serving prayer, because a change in attitude would benefit YOU, but it would not necessarily benefit us.

[deleted account]

"yes I do pray for others negative attittude. That is a symbol of kindness."



Pffft. IMO, it's a symbol of pity. Pray for your own bad attitude and let me worry about myself. I hate it when people say it in that context.



My mother-in-law says things like, "I'll pray for Chad to find some work" or "I'll pray for Roxanne's bloodwork to come back normal".......THOSE are symbols of kindness. Your example is just a condescending slap in the face. I don't know you and I certainly don't need you to pray for me. AND I agree with Carol, IMO you're not a Christian....God certainly wouldn't be proud of you but that's just my opinion. AFTER ALL, no one will know for sure because we can't talk to or see him.....hell, we can't even send him an email. Sorry for my rant but it's early and I'm grumpy and I REALLY REALLY hate it when people say they're going to "pray for me" like that. Pray for yourself.

Johnny - posted on 08/31/2010

8,686

26

322

I'm pretty sure that Jesus would not attack people for their differences either, but we'll never truly know what he'd do. We can only guess. Given my readings of Jesus' life and words, I'd guess you are not a Christian either?

Krista - posted on 08/31/2010

12,562

16

847

Carol being a Christian means being LIKE CHRIST.



So Christ would have said stuff like, "why we would be created to have sex where someones stool is released. Hmm maybe cause its a load of crap?!"?



Or maybe he would have said, "No I do not think that people are born gay but IF MAYBE IF somewhere somone can prove that they are then it is for sure because of a generation curse"?



I'm not Christian anymore, but I do believe that Jesus existed and that he was a teacher who had an important message of love and understanding for his fellow man. And I think that his words and his messages have been distorted over the years by people with their own hang-ups and own agendas. If Christ was all about love, compassion and forgiveness, do you really think that he would have sat there mocking and denigrating things that he did not understand?

Starr - posted on 08/31/2010

372

37

11

Laci, How can I stand up for someone elses beliefs if they are not mine? I can't go against what I believe my religion and morals are.

Starr - posted on 08/31/2010

372

37

11

Carol being a Christian means being LIKE CHRIST. That was the best example I had in finding a "christian" who really is not...Christ would not molest.

Starr - posted on 08/31/2010

372

37

11

You know kati, you are right. I began re reading my post and after a while of this never ending I did get a little carried away. I would not say so much disrespectful. But yes carried away. But of course I was not the only one on here who did. And my commentof "load of crap" came from some claiming the Bible is "stupid" "shit" "just a story" And yes I do pray for others negative attittude. That is a symbol of kindness.

Starr - posted on 08/31/2010

372

37

11

Im letting her know she is not alone. Some of us are just stronger than others. Some don't care enough to respond. Put there are plenty other people who feel the sae way her and I do.

LaCi - posted on 08/31/2010

3,361

3

171

"I will always continuse to stand up for my God and Jesus. As Im sure you all will continue to stand up for your beliefs"

Actually, what we attempt to do, generally, is stand up for more than our own beliefs. We try to stand up for all beliefs, not just our own. Christians, realistically, SHOULD stand up for all as well, there are just some that get lost in the own needs and beliefs and refuse to see the larger picture, human rights and such.

Johnny - posted on 08/30/2010

8,686

26

322

"Thats like saying Im going to listen to a priest that molested little boys really!? Not all people who claim they are Christians really are!"

If I were someone who considered myself to be a Christian but did not hold the exact beliefs as you, I would consider this to be quite the insult, Starr. In fact, knowing so little about your beliefs, basically simply that you consider yourself a Christian, pick and choose what you like from the bible, and hate homosexuality, I wouldn't even be able to tell who you would consider to be a 'real' Christian or what encompasses your version of Christianity. Clearly you think that you are entitled to decide who is and who is not a Christian. That's pretty insulting to any other Christian, and probably to God too.

[deleted account]

Respectful, huh? Guess now would be a bad time to start my 'bite me' rant. Read the 'rudeness' post in Debating Mums if you don't get that. lol!

Rosie - posted on 08/30/2010

8,657

30

321

"now i will go pray for your negative attitude", "why we would be created to have sex where someones stool is released. Hmm maybe cause its a load of crap?!", "No I do not think that people are born gay but IF MAYBE IF somewhere somone can prove that they are then it is for sure because of a generation curse","did i answer enough, NEXT!!! " , and you said that you were a REAL christian, like others who claim to be aren't. you're condescending sarcastic attitude of pure bigotry is what has everyone riled up. and in your famous words "NEXT!!!"

[deleted account]

"thank you for also standing up for our religion. I know there are others but probably to weak to handle these other ladies."

You weren't insulting? Starr, you are one big typing contradiction. Teresa is always vocal and although she's the minority a lot of the time, she always handles herself in a respectful, informative way. You come across extremely judgemental and condescending.

Why do you feel the need to stand up for your religion? People need the same respect....not a bloody religion. ACK!

Starr - posted on 08/30/2010

372

37

11

Please show me where on this post I have insulted? Because I have said time and time again, just becuase I dont agree with homosexuality doesnt mean I can't accept it. I would not intentionally discriminate against someone because of their sexual prefrences.

Rosie - posted on 08/30/2010

8,657

30

321

no insults???? teresa has always been outspoken about her beliefs in a kind and loving manner, maybe other people can take a lesson...just sayin.

Starr - posted on 08/30/2010

372

37

11

We are nothing alike? Why because I am just a little more out spoken? I am not backing down? There were no insults there. Ive been biting my tongue this whole thread not to insult.

[deleted account]

Starr, you're all about the insults, eh? You even insult other Christians. YOU and Teresa are NOTHING alike.

Starr - posted on 08/30/2010

372

37

11

Teresa, thank you for also standing up for our religion. I know there are others but probably to weak to handle these other ladies. @ Carol, yes! As I have said before. I don't dislike homosexuals, I just dont agree with it. I can still accept the fact the everyone is a human being and not one of us is better than the other. Ive stated that before too. Its hard for non-believers to understand some of us Christians as well as it is for us to understand some non-believers. You all talk about the Bible...well the Bible is what we(Christians) have that is our foundation. I will always continuse to stand up for my God and Jesus. As Im sure you all will continue to stand up for your beliefs

Sarah - posted on 08/30/2010

556

25

44

@Kati- it's in Starr's huge post about evangelical christians. *eye roll* i don't blame you for not reading it all- but it IS kinda funny :)

Oh- update- my nephew came out to me this weekend. Said he thought of all the family I would be the coolest about it. I am so grateful he felt he could tell me! Funny though, I allready knew- silly boy knew who Alexander McQueen is- dead giveaway.

[deleted account]

Teresa, I will take that back. I do not hate the bible. It is just a story to me and I don't want to add to its misplaced power by hating it. But I do hate how SOME Christians use it to justify their bigotry. I have met some lovely Christians in my real life and on this forum (Toni being one of them and there's probably a few more who sorry, I've forgotten your names), who practiced what they preached and were just lovely people. I may not have agreed with them on every issue but in general they were lovely. A good example of this was my husband's late grandmother. She was a Catholic and very involved in her church. She was a lovely woman. She did community work with people less fortunate and people in prison. When her own daughter came out to her as a lesbian, she didn't judge her one bit but supported her and continued to love her as she had always done. To me, that is a true Christian and if every Christian was just like her, then I wouldn't have an issue with Christianity at all. But sadly, that's not all Christians.

And I was thinking about this earlier. What bad things in the world have happened due to homosexuality? Ummmm, I can't think of any. What bad things have happened in the world due to organised religion? I could go on and on and on and on. Except for greed, religion is the basis for all wars. Think about that. I can't even think of a bad homosexual person. I know there are some out there (because they are but human after all and human's fuck up all the time) but I can think of a bunch of religious people who have done really bad things. As already stated, Hitler was religious. And what a wonderful man he turned out to be. Not.

Johnny - posted on 08/30/2010

8,686

26

322

It is possible to like an individual without liking what they stand for or believe in. I like very many individual Christians. Most do not hold beliefs that I find objectionable (most Christians I know are not opposed to same-sex marriage for example). But some do. Those people are still my friends and I still care for them. But it does not stop me from being completely opposed to their ideology and from hating the book which they have decided to call holy. Do you not care for and like people who are not Christians? People whose views you may find to be unacceptable?

What I am trying to say is that yes, I will bash the hell out of certain aspects of the Christian, and other, faiths. I think it is necessary and important for the human race to grow for us to rid ourselves of the dogma attached to religion. But that does not mean that I instantly vilify or wish to bash individual Christians. When you talk about those who deny god and what you believe about them, are you trying to personally bash every non-believer? Or perhaps you are just expressing your beliefs about their beliefs. I guess perhaps it is an non-believer version of "hate the sin, love the sinner"?

Rosie - posted on 08/30/2010

8,657

30

321

and i do applaud that teresa, i really do. i just don't understand how one can still believe that it's wrong at all, no matter what the bible says (or doesn't say). it just doesn't make any sense to me to even think that gay people shouldn't be married at all, thats discrimination plain and simple. and i find it sooooo horrible that the god i grew up knowing and trusting in would think that is acceptable. he would be pulling his hair out, and facepalming himself thinking about all of you misinterpretting his words. :)

[deleted account]

Jennifer, I was referring to why God created humans in the first place. If you don't believe in God then, of course, you won't agree. Just stating my beliefs on that.

Anika, I happen to get my beliefs from my personal relationship w/ Jesus, not just from the Bible even though those beliefs happen to BE in the Bible. You don't hate Christians or people that believe in God, but you DO hate the Bible (which MOST people who believe in God or are Christians at least TRY to follow)? Sorry, that doesn't even make sense to me. It is ok w/ you if someone is a Christian or believes in God, but it's not ok if those Christians follow the Bible? Is that what you are saying or am I totally missing the point?

Kati, not sure if it was you I answered on that one earlier or not, but that is why I don't vote. I can't/won't ever vote against my personal beliefs, but I also know that it isn't right to try and take away another human's right to live their life the way THEY choose. I also couldn't ever vote for anyone in favor of abortion, the death penalty, or many other important issues to myself. So... I just don't vote.

Sarah - posted on 08/30/2010

556

25

44

the lightbulb has gone off. I figured out where the breakdown is.
Ok, so IF homosexuality if like a drug addiction (big if and I don't think so, but stay with me) the article states that by not doing drugs you are no longer a user not having gay sex means no longer homosexual. Clearly, evangelical christians know as little about drug addiction as they do about homosexuality! Once an addict, always an addict- once gay always gay. Denying the urge doesn't change who you are!

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms