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Quality time with Mum and Dad or Quality Time with Siblings?

Jenny - posted on 04/03/2011 ( 7 moms have responded )

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A bit of a spin on the what is the perfect number of children question?

I think (and dont mind being proven wrong) that if you have a few kids - i.e 2 then you'll be able to spend decent quality time with them. However if you have more than two, you are much more reliant on them spending quality time with each other, as you wouldnt have much time to spend on each individual.

And so, which is more important in your opinion and why?

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Louise - posted on 04/03/2011

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i think it is all down to your life style. If you are a stay at home mum then you can find time in the day to spend quality time with each child. If you are a working mum then time is limited to a couple of hours every night.

Children can adapt to any situation if they have brothers/sisters or not. Quality time comes in many forms from bath time and sitting reading a book to cooking dinner together and chatting about your day over the dinner table. As long as you are there for your children and they know they can come and chat to you whenever they like then you have cracked quality time. Does it really matter how many kids you have.......no. I raised two sons and they played with each other and I had limited quality time with each of them but I made things work. I now have a two year old daughter who is being raised as an only child. She has all the quality time she needs and in my mind is acting no differently than my lads did.

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[deleted account]

I have four kids and I hve plenty of quality time with them and they have time with each other too

[deleted account]

I don't think that the question is so much number but at spacing. My mom has 4 children... but my two eldest siblings are 18 and 16 years older than me. I got a lot of individual attention because of not only the age differences but also because I demanded it.

Some of my fondest memories are going down to the 7 eleven with my eldest sister in the summer time. I played dolls and ponies with my dad. I played videogames with my brother. I would help my mom out with the house and shopping. My other sister I would just plain tease (it was fun for me at least).

However my eldest sister's youngest two play mainly together.... she is also 7 month pregnant. But they still get a lot of alone time with mom and dad.

I have only one right now, but she seemes happiest when playing with her cousins. At the same time she leads me around the house to play.

Stifler's - posted on 04/06/2011

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I think both is important. Kids need peers and to learn to share and be able to discuss the world with someone their own age and they also need attention and guidance from their parents.

[deleted account]

I agree that it totally depends on the family. My husband is the 3rd of five. He's close with both of his parents and with all of his siblings. His mom stayed at home and his dad worked. Even though his dad worked long hours and didn't get to spend large quantities of time with his kids, the time he did spend was well spent. On the flip side, I know people who have one kid and they hardly know their kid.

Honestly, I think they're both important. Family is forever so building a great relationship with family members is beneficial.

[deleted account]

There is a huge difference between quality time and quantity of time, just because someone can spend longer with a child (as less children allows) it doesn't necessarily mean that child will get quality time. I think parents who are aware of the time they spend with each child are able to have quality time with more than 2 children, it depends on the person as to how many is too many.

To provide quality time they need to focuson things they enjoy or can enrich their childs/ childrens lives; so for one child that could be playing cars for half an hour while for another it could be about baking a cake or going to the library or the park etc. It is important that quality time is spent with individual children and as a whole family unit as well, so the family can bond.

April - posted on 04/03/2011

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I think if a child has siblings they have a better chance of not needing their parents attention as much as they grow older. I'm not saying in no way that they wouldn't need their parents at all but i just find that they wouldn't be so reliant on their parents for quality time.

Parents are busy, we can't always be there for our children even if we want to. I try my best to always be there for my two kids. Always. but sometimes i have things to do. They have each other and they keep each other company when i'm busy. I'm grateful for that.

I was like that with my sisters. Actually i think parents who have more kids sometimes feel a bit left out when they want to spend time with their kids because their kids would prefer to be with their sibling sometimes. My mum was like that. It really depends on the situation IMO.

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