Shower time?

Hope - posted on 10/30/2011 ( 28 moms have responded )

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I'm a single, stay at home mom and have very little (actually no) alone time for myself.. (My son still to this day sleeps less than six hours a night and it is non consecutive.)
The only time I ever get a chance to get a shower is when I put his toys in the back of the tub and he plays while I get cleaned up for the day. This has worked decently for us so far but now he is almost 17 months, and has a baby sister on the way in less than two months. He has been starting to point out different body parts, but I'm not sure if this is just because he is noticing they are there or if he notices they are different from his.

So, basically, I am wondering if your son showered with you-at what age did he stop and start showering on his own, and what did you do to occupy him so you could shower? Any advice would be much appreciated =)

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I never showered with my son. I always waited until he was sleeping. Whether it was a 10minute shower or an hour.

[deleted account]

Nothing in the world wrong w/ that Hope.



I do have to say, in Julie's defense, her and her family have gone through something traumatic and I can certainly understand and sympathize where she is coming from. The important thing to remember though is that nudity in a family does not CAUSE people to do horrible and disgusting things. It's something sick inside their brain that does that. All the nudity in the world won't cause a normal person to commit sexual crimes and all the covering up in the world won't cause a twisted person to NOT think of these things and try to act on them.

Merry - posted on 12/03/2011

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My son is 2.5, he bathes with me, and sometimes it's me, my son and my 7 month old daughter in there! Lol he's always bathed with me, it's relaxing and fun and we use it as a time killer on nights when daddy is working late.
When he asked, I told him my body parts names. He remembered for a while but now he's forgotten what it's called and hasn't asked again. He just doesn't care.
Answer his questions like any other question and move on. It's really no big deal.

I think kids are better off when they grow up knowing bodies are normal and natural and not taboo. They've seen breasts and everything else as a toddler then there's less of a big reveal at puberty. It's the unknown that's so appealing to pubescent kids anyways. If they've gröwn up seeing moms breasts as non sexual body parts it will only help them not go around begging to touch some girls chest :P

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Merry - posted on 12/10/2011

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Hope, sounds exactly like my son! He's now 2.5 and still happily showers with me.

Hope - posted on 12/09/2011

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UPDATE******

So, I had thought I had updated this previously, but I guess I hadn't. Before anymore arguing goes on-as far as putting him in a crib while I shower or to shower while he is asleep is impossible. 1) He figured out how to climb out of his crib before he was 9 months old. 2) He does not sleep. He never naps and on a good night we get about six hours of sleep with one to three 15 minute crying spells, there for-when he is in bed so am I. Being pregnant and already exhausted I wish I could have eight hours at the least, but if I can get the six I am going to take every last minute of it.

As far as putting him in a swing or car seat... He is way too big and leaving him in his room with the gate up he has a melt down and screams his lungs out the entire time I am in there.

And I think the only other suggestion I have seen that I have tried was putting him in the room with me with toys or books. Sadly, every time I have tried this he, and the toys, end up in the shower with me. So instead of getting an outfit completely soaked and ruining books or what ever toy he has at the time I just see it more benificial to the two of us for him to shower with me.

Now that he is 18 months and starting to spend more time in other rooms and venturing off more on his own I am hoping that I may be able to use a movie to entertain him if need be, but I think we are just going to continue to shower together until he decides it is time to move on or it gets uncomfortable for me.

But thank you to everyone who did comment =)

Merry - posted on 12/04/2011

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I think kids seeing mom or dad pooping would be far more traumatic then seeing them showering.
Personally I've only found one thing so far that I'm uncomfortable with my toddler seeing, and that's inserting or removing my diaphragm. But then again I don't even like my hubby watching that :P also I'd expect whenever my period returns I might not be ok with him staring as I deal with the blood but then again idk, I haven't had a person in 17 months so.....

Maree - posted on 12/04/2011

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ok so now i have a little time to respond properly to Julie's comments...I guess I should be showering now because my daughter is napping....even though i have been up with her since 5.30am,got dressed,got my son to school,done the groceries,breast fed my daughter to sleep and about to start cleaning the house !!!!! ...apparently i need to shower so she doesn't see my breasts that she feeds from 4 times a day???



Come on,can you not see how ridiculous that sounds ???

Showering really isn't a private thing,well it doesn't need to be a private thing if you don't make it one. Is there any real need to hide yourself from a small child and teach them that there is something disgusting about theirs and others bodies.



i'm not saying flash yourself to people on the streets but in your own home,it is crazy to go hiding out incase your 2 year old happens to see you naked...Saying you should do PRIVATE things while your toddler is asleep (even if they don't nap or you have more important things to do) or to put them in the cot (where they will most likely scream their lungs out,I know my daughter would) is utterly ridiculous...and for what ?????....because you think it's a good idea to teach them to be disgusted with themselves to the point they hide from their future husband/wife and have a terrible body image??? (I for one know that,that is a problem as i have recently overcome it) Or to teach them to perve at everyone because the body is something very mysterious ???



I honestly think all you are doing is causing them to have a terrible body image and to be shy and disgusted with themselves....to me that is a bad thing. there is no reason to hide yourself from family. You can teach children about privacy and self respect in so many other ways !!!!



And to say "how do you know what a toddler is thinking??" if you are thinking about what a toddler may or may not be thinking then maybe you have some serious issues you need to deal with.....I'm not trying to be mean but really ???? are you seriously spending time being concerned with a toddler thinking sexual thoughts about your body rather than just getting on with day to day life??

Maree - posted on 12/03/2011

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I think comments like Julies are the cause of many problems and body issues in adults

Merry - posted on 12/03/2011

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Julie what could a toddler be thinking? Umm, that's mom. That's dad. They have bodies. Uhhhh that's about it! They don't even know what "private" means yet!

Julie - posted on 12/03/2011

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Racheal - you never know wheat is going through their mind AND think about it - from his viewpoint ... what is he seeing - would you want to be little and stare up at someone's privates (even Daddy's?!)
Shower when they re in bed (morning or evening) and let them bathe...

Julie - posted on 12/03/2011

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GET up before he does and do 'PRIVATE' things out of his eyeshot.
Leave him in his crib with toys you've placed there to entertain him in case you are not quite out of the shower...
OR shower during his morning nap -

[deleted account]

my son is 2 and 3 months and he still showers with me sometimes. as long as he isn't too focused on the different parts i wouldn't worry.

Teresa - posted on 12/01/2011

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My son never bathed with me, not because of any issue on my part, it just never happened. AT 7 he showers alone. He know the difference between men and women and at this age I have not felt the urge to hurredly cover up if he walks in but I'm sure that will change mainly from his point of view. My husband is a good judge of that. He doesn't feel funny about it yet.

Lexi - posted on 11/29/2011

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My son is two and a half and still baths with me or his daddy. Up until a few months ago he was terrified to be in the tub alone. Now I put him and his baby brother in the tub together and he does fine. I figure we will stop bathing together when he gets uncomfortable or it seems like the right time. The boy I baby sit just turned 6. The past year we've been working on staying clothed when anyone but immediate family members are in the house but he still showered with his mom until a month ago when he told her he was too grown up and wanted to shower by himself like daddy. It was only a few months ago when he suddenly said "MOM!!! what happened to your wiener??" lol she explained that she didn't have one. He asked why it fell off. She explained that girls don't have wieners, they pee out a different spot. He said "oh, ok" and that was that. Nothing weird or creepy, just simple healthy curiosity. He got his answer and life went on as normal.



The few times my son has pointed to parts or grabbed at things I just explain, that's mommy's booby or that's mommy's pee pee. It's a private spot and not for touching.



Nudity in our family in general is not a forbidden or hidden thing. We get dressed in front of the kids all the time. I walk around in my underwear most of the summer (ok most of the year! lol) and so does my husband. It's just natural.

Jaime - posted on 11/27/2011

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i showered with my son until he was about 3 1/2 yrs old....once he was 3 it was just a once in a while thing,,,,for example if we were running late and i didnt have time to shower separately.......it is normal for him to notice difference in body parts and of course kids are curious and it is okay to tell him the differnce between boy and girl body parts..my son is 4 now and i have asked him if he wants to jump in while i am in there just to make it quicker but he says no now.....you will know when it is no longer appropriate and he wont want to shower with you anymore anyway......dont think about it too much......i would just give him some bath toys or those markers/crayons that are made to write on the bathtub with and he was fine.....i would not shower with him, however, when i had to shave cuz i dont want shavings getting on him and there is not enough room for me to maneuver anyway....now that he doest want to shower with me he takes his own bath but if i am in a rush i will stand him in the bathtub with the water running and just clean him up without filling up the bathtub.

Maree - posted on 11/22/2011

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I don't shower with my son but used to when he was younger. He is almost 11 now and if i need a shower and he comes in the bathroom then it's no big deal. if he's showering and i go in then thats fine too. I don't want to teach him to be worried about me seeing him naked. I realize the day will come that he wants more privacy and as soon as that happens,thats what he will get but i'm definately not going to push that on him. If he has no problem with it then neither do i.....In saying that,if he got to puberty age and still had no problem with nudity (which i highly doubt) then i would make sure he had the bathroom to himself at all times and that i did as well. I don't see why some people are so concerned about things like this...to me it is natural and just a big hassle to be hiding yourself all the time especially when you only have one bathroom. Not that i go out of my way to get naked in front of my kids,but i don't hide out either.

Montana - posted on 11/21/2011

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My son is 20 mos n every now n then i shower w him. if i need my shower during the day he wont let ma take it alone. i mostly shower at night but it wakes me up so i hate that. hopefully he grows out of the phase so he can let me shower alone.

Julie - posted on 11/18/2011

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Let him take baths instead...
Take your shower before he wakes up in the morning or after he is safely in bed asleep -

Kacie - posted on 11/15/2011

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i never showered/bathed with my son. not because of "omg he cant see me naked!" (i never understood that mind set, the human body is a natural thing and nothing to be hidden/ashamed of/thought to be dirty/etc) , but because i like my water too hot! ;)

as for the pointing out/noticing body parts, its natural and indulge in it! its a teaching moment. again, nothing to be ashamed of or to be hidden.

occupying him....bring in toys in the bathroom while you shower/bathe. or do it while he's sleeping/napping.

Katherine - posted on 11/05/2011

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I've never showered with my babe in the shower with me, it's far to small!!! and he'd probly slip and i'd step on him!!! That being said, once I put him down for nap, he's out right away and i hope in and shower!!!

Now and then i bring him in with me if i need to get showered to go out, i lay him on the floor (he's 7 months now and very mobile) close the door tightly (the cat can push it from the outside) and give him a few toys, they usually last about 5 minutes before he's over pullig on the cutrain or eating the bathmat!!!! lol

Jennifer - posted on 11/03/2011

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Car seats, exersaucers, and swings are hygene God sends!! My son was like that too, and the bathroom is hard to babyproof. Later, I did babyproof, and put toys in a low drawer for my shower time.

September - posted on 11/02/2011

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Our son is 3 and still showers with his Dad from time to time and use to shower with me as well and probably still would if I showered when he wanted to shower. Lately he's enjoyed showering alone and sometimes he enjoys a bath more. Really I think it depends upon the child and your comfort level. Our son points out the fact that I have different body parts then him and Daddy and that's just fine. What better opportunity to teach one about body parts? I don't see it as an issue personally.

[deleted account]

Hes probably just noticing that your parts are different from his :) If it makes you uncomfortable then you can stop.

My son never showered with me. When he was little I would roll his bassinet into the bathroom with me and let him sleep, when he got older I would strap him in his car seat and give him his toys and something to drink, it worked out pretty good.



I do the same with my two daughters now. My 3 year old will sit and play and my 10 month goes into her seat or her walker and both of them either play by themselves or with each other. When my husband has a day off I will usually still take one or both to shower because if I don't one or both will get pretty upset and follow me.

[deleted account]

I shower w/ my 3.5 year old son and when I don't he is w/ his older sisters. There was a time last year (right about this time) that his sisters were at soccer practice and I would shower and he wouldn't want to. I kept him in the bathroom w/ a stack of books. ;)

Amy - posted on 10/31/2011

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I say stop when you feel uncomfortable. My son could hardly ever shower with me because he just got weaned and when saw my chest, he wanted a drink. No buddy. All done. It was around 17 months when he stopped showering with me.
As a stay at home mom..I just waited until his naptime and once asleep, in I went. I had a two year old daughter and she looked through books in the bathroom and i was behind the curtain..wash hair, peek out, wash body, peek out. world's still calm? Shave shave shave!!!! I now have three children. There are days when time doesn't let us do what we need to but at five and three, i just stand there and let my kids shower together, help them out, then give them a giant puzzle to do in the kitchen and leave my door open to the bathroom so i can hear them and hop in. It's fast and there's not a thing relaxing about it, but it gets done.And if the baby wakes up and I have soap in my hair, she can cry for the thirty seconds it takes to rinse it out and dry off. I also have showered at night after kids go to sleep for the night. Once mine are down, they're down.

at a year and a half he should definitely be sleeping longer than that though. what are his naps like during the day?

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